Taking orders is difficult. Like players yelling at the officials in a sports competition, our natural reaction is to rebel against anyone who may exercise their authority over us. When a professor gives us poor marks on a paper we thought was top quality, we instantly feel the need to attack them verbally behind their backs not because we disagree so much but because we despise the idea of the professor being able to do what she likes to our paper.
Hypocrisy: the behavior of people who do things that they tell other people not to do: behavior that does not agree with what someone claims to believe or feel.
It’s not news to state that those who despise the Christian church the most typically do so because of the hypocrisy they feel is present within her. Christians themselves, especially those of us from the millennial generation, despise how hypocritical the church can feel at times.
We all know hypocrisy is a problem, but what’s the solution? What’s the cure for hypocrisy?
What I’m about to say is going to come off as blasphemous at first. So please read this whole article to get the full context of this statement. If you do, I believe you will better enjoy your Christian singleness and be better situated to find a Christian spouse. Alright, here it goes:
Stop trying to put God first as a way of finding your future spouse.
Have you ever taken hold of an idea that completely changes the way you view the world?
A paradigm is one’s theoretical views or beliefs that create one’s perceptions of the world, shaping the way one thinks and lives. A “paradigm shift” happens when a new idea or viewpoint changes the old way of seeing.
For example, people use to believe the earth was flat. This belief shaped the way they lived because they feared they would fall off the face of the planet if they traveled too far. This was their paradigm.
However, once the truth was revealed that the earth was round, a paradigm shift happened in the minds of men. It changed everything.
In the six days of creation, there is clearly a progression of intricacy happening. God starts general, making light, and then gets more detailed, finally making man.
It was a progression in revealing his own glory, for the glory of God is the visible manifestation of God’s beauty and character. When you see some intangible quality of God in a tangible way, it’s called “the glory of God.” That’s why, for example, when God would reveal himself in the Old Testament to the Israelites in a cloud or in fire it says the “glory of God” would appear (Exodus 24:15-18).
Sequels are usually not nearly as good as the original film or book in a series. Most sequels fail to live up to the greatness of the original story because they are trying to recreate the magic that happened the first time rather than building on the story. They try to go through the same plot progression as the first story, the characters end getting into the same trouble, and the whole point of the movie is simply to redo the first one under a different title.
Do you know that we can do that in our lives too? It’s good to look back at our past with fond memories. But there are countless dangers that come with idolizing our past.
There’s been a lot said to Christian singles who desire to find a spouse. “Just pray about it.” “Just serve Jesus and he’ll take care of it.” “Stop desiring to be married and then God will bless you with a Christian spouse.” “Just get on a Christian dating site already and stop talking to me about this all the time!”
When it comes down to it, there seems to be two camps in the “How to find a Christian spouse” advice market. One group says just serve Jesus and it will take care of itself. The other group says God only helps those who help themselves.
So which is it? What’s the best way to find a Christian spouse?
Expectations and desires are such a beautiful and yet dangerous part of life. To have a dream, let alone seeing it fulfilled, creates a feeling in your heart that is essential for a meaningful life. To have desires is to have a heart that is alive. If you feel nothing, hope for nothing, never have a dream, it probably means you have lost your heart and passion for life. But how do we maintain joy when we have unmet expectations, for as the Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Two plain truths can be seen from a simple reading of the Bible: God can do whatever he wants. And God asks us to do things.
These two truths make me ask, “Why does God ask for help if he doesn’t need it?” At first glance it seems one of these two truths must be false for the other to be true. If God can do whatever he wants on his own power, then clearly he must not ask us to do things for him. Or, if God does ask us to do things for him, clearly he must not be able to do things on his own.
So which is it? Does God need our help?