3 Marks of a Narcissistic Family Member Being Used By Satan to Attack You

Is Satan using a narcissistic family member to attack you? Here are 3 marks you may see if this is happening to you.

1. If You Are Beginning to See How Your History with This Family Member Has Made You Feel You Are Only Valuable When You Are Doing What Others Want, This Could Be a Sign the Devil Is Using This Narcissistic Family Member to Attack You

For example, if you grew up with a narcissist mother, she may have really hurt you when were a child by making you feel like a bad person for not serving her. She was supposed to be the adult, but perhaps she was asking you, the child, to be the adult. If she threw temper tantrums whenever you didn’t do what she wanted, if she made you feel bad for having your own life rather than staying home to serve her, of if she always put you down in front of others to make herself feel better – this could dramatically affect the way you interact in relationships with others as an adult.

Now, because of how your mother treated you, maybe you are unable to have healthy relationships because you have not learned to properly express your desires. Whenever your partner or friend wants to do something, you just go along with it, afraid of inserting your own opinion because of how you were raised. But, overtime, because you never express your desires, you might grow internally resentful towards the people in your life. You might just blow up at them one day or cut them off.

And because you never expressed yourself, the people you are doing do this to will feel very confused. Perhaps they wanted to compromise but you never verbalized your desires. Perhaps they thought you always wanted to do what they wanted because every time they asked, you seemed happy to go along with it.

The point is, if a narcissistic family member trained you as a child to operate in unhealthy ways in relationships and this is still affecting you as an adult, the devil will use this to keep you out of good relationships.

They key is to go back and find healing from the Lord. Only when your heart is healed and right with Jesus can you treat others well in a healthy relationship (Proverbs 4:23, Luke 6:45).

2. If a Family Member Has No Social Life Outside of Their Relationship with You, This Could Be a Sign of Satan Using This Person to Attack You

A narcissist doesn’t always put themselves first in all situations. But a real narcissist will always need to put themselves first in some area of their life.

For example, perhaps you did your best to raise your child into a healthy person who can think about others. But somehow, your child has grown into an adult narcissist. Now they believe they should still be the center of your world even though you did your job to raise them and they should be a self-sufficient adult now. They call you every day, continue to ask for money, and get mad at you anytime you do not bail them out of the problems they created in their own life.

Or perhaps you are the adult child and now that you have left your dad’s home, he keeps reaching out to you in an unhealthy way. Perhaps he made you the center of his life, but now that you are an adult and you don’t need him like you did as a child, he is now trying to stunt your growth so you are dependent on him again, thus giving him back his power in your life.

Family does create a special bond that should be different than other bonds in life. But if a family member is trying to prevent you from living a healthy, well-rounded social life that is pleasing to the Lord, this could mean they are narcissistic and Satan is using them to attack you.

Family is a wonderful gift, but there are also needs to be healthy boundaries, particularly when a child grows into an adult and starts forming their own family unit and social circles (Genesis 2:24).

3. If This Family Member Is Using Your Bloodlines to Manipulate You for Their Own Selfish Purposes, This Is a Sign of a Narcissistic Family Member Being Used By Satan to Attack You

Perhaps you have a sister who is always fighting with her husband. You know she is wrong and her husband is doing his best to be a godly man, but she keeps trying to drag you into their arguments. She might say, “You’re my sister! You have to take my side!”

Or maybe you have a brother who is terrible with money. He’s always going broke because he’s starting bad businesses and get-rich-quick schemes. When his mortgage is due, he might call you and say, “You’re my brother! You’re supposed to have my back!”

1 Corinthians 13:5 states, “[Love] does not insist on its own way.” Deep down, this family member probably does love you. But don’t let them justify their manipulation of you by appealing to your common bloodlines. That’s not loving. They may be a narcissist being used by Satan to complicate your life and cause endless chaos.

While you can try to help people when you feel led, do not allow a family member to press you beyond what you are willing to give from a joyful heart (2 Corinthians 9:7).

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