3 Signs God Is Saying, “You’re Too Busy to Receive the Person I Want to Give You”

Julie woke up early. It was Saturday and the warming morning sun rays were flooding her room. Usually she works through the weekend, but today was different. For some reason, she felt like God was telling her to slow down. As she got out of bed and made her way to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, she suddenly had a thought which she usually actively avoids, “I wish I wasn’t in this house alone. Why hasn’t God given me a husband yet?”

All of a sudden, however, her cell phone rang. It was her boss. She had already told him she was going to take the weekend off, so she thought about ignoring the call. But she decided to answer her phone anyways, “Hi Gary.”

“Julie?” he asked with a surprised tone, “Thank goodness you answered. I’m sorry to bother you on your day off, but I really need your help. Is there any way you could come in today?”

Julie paused for a moment. She looked at her comfy couch where she was just about to sit down. Her heart was longing to enter into some much-needed prayer, particularly about her relationship desires; but her boss’s frantic tone convinced her. In a defeated tone she responded, “Yes, no problem. I’ll get ready and be there as soon as I can.”

Being too busy is not everyone’s barrier that is blocking them from the relationship God may want to give them. However, for many, God does want to bless them with the spouse they’ve always wanted, but they are too busy to receive this blessing.

Therefore, here are 3 signs God may be saying to you, “Make the time and then I’ll send you your person.”

1. If You’re Too Busy to Put God First, You’re Also Too Busy to Receive the Person God May Want to Give You

As Julie drove into work, she had a few moments to reflect on what she was doing. She felt guilty, like God was not happy with her choice to work this weekend. She was listening to a sermon on the radio, and all of a sudden the pastor read Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

Instead of listening to what the pastor said next, she felt the Holy Spirit speaking to her, helping her apply that verse to her own life and desires. She felt like God was saying, “How can I bless you with a spouse if you won’t even let me bless you with myself?”

She was cut to the quick. It hurt to hear those words, but she knew it was true. Whenever she had a moment to reflect, which wasn’t very often, her heart longed for a spouse. But she was a mature enough Christian to know that she needed God himself more than she needed a husband. She silently prayed, “I’m sorry, Lord. I will do better in the future. I will take a few days off this week and specifically spend them on connecting with you.”

The truth is, God has made us to need him most of all (Psalm 27:4). That doesn’t mean it’s wrong of you to want a spouse. Rather, it just means that God will always prioritize your relationship with him above your relationships with others (Psalm 37:4). He loves you too much to give you another distraction. If you are not prioritizing God now, why would you prioritize him when you get into a relationship and have even less time?

God intends a husband and wife to help each other’s walk with Jesus. That’s what he wants for a Christian marriage. Therefore, to receive what God wants to give you, you must be prioritizing him (Matthew 6:33) now so you are then ready to also prioritize him when you have even less time (1 Corinthians 7:29).

2. If You’re Hoping to Meet “the One” But You Don’t Have Time to Meet “the Many,” This Could Be Blocking You from Your Person

When Julie finally got home that Saturday, she ate some dinner and then found her way to that cozy couch she had been thinking about all day. She was just about to turn on the TV and stream her favorite shows, but then she felt the Holy Spirit. She felt him say something like, “Julie, stop. Just sit in silence with me.”

Julie obeyed. It was difficult at first. Her mind was racing from all the chaos she had dealt with at work. She really just wanted to zone out. But she stuck with it. After about five minutes of just sitting in silence, she returned to that thought she had that morning, “I wish I wasn’t in this house alone. Why hasn’t God given me a husband yet?”

She sat with that question before the Lord. A few more minutes of silence passed by, but then she started to sense some direction from the Lord. She felt like God was helping her look at her own life. Every day she woke up early, went to work, stayed late, came home exhausted, and then tried to recharge in the evening by scrolling on her phone and watching shows. She would go to church on Sundays, but she always left quickly. She would then usually meet up with a friend or family member at some point that day. Monday would then arrive, starting the whole cycle again.

Julie was beginning to see the point. She thought to herself, “How can I meet a godly man when I literally have no exposure to anyone but work, family, and close friends? Something has to change if I want to ever get married.”

The point is, many of us imagine meeting “the one,” but in truth, this rarely happens without first making time for “the many.” Where will you meet your future spouse? Usually you will meet your spouse in a public place, in a community, or even through an activity specifically designed to help singles connect, like events or online dating.

While most of us just want to jump to the one-on-one part, sitting face-to-face with our future spouse, to get there, oftentimes you have to meet a lot of people before making a special connection that is unique with just that one person who ends up being “your person.”

Psalm 90:12 (NLT), “Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” There’s only so much time and energy in our lives. We have to use it on the things that are most important to us.

If you are prioritizing your career, your health, your mental wellbeing, or the needs of a family member, this is good. But if you don’t have time or energy to meet someone and you really want to be married, something needs to change. You have to create the space necessary for a relationship to occur.

3. If You’re Working So Hard the Word Is Being Choked Out in Your Life, You Have to Make the Time if You Want to Be Blessed with Your Person

Over the next few months, Julie made some big changes. She told her boss she would no longer be working weekends and that she would need to leave the office no later than 5pm on most days, barring true emergencies that she would stay late for when absolutely necessary. Her boss gladly agreed, fearing that he might lose his best employee to burnout if he kept pushing her so hard.

Julie joined a small group on Wednesday nights. She ended up becoming great friends with one of the women there. This woman then set Julie up on a blind date with her cousin, a strong Christian man that was also looking for a wife. Their first date went great. They talked every day, became an official couple, and within a year they were engaged.

In Mark 4:18-19 Jesus explains, “And others are the ones sown among thorns. They are those who hear the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.” When life’s issues get so big in your head, there’s no room left for God. The cares of this world literally “choke the word” in your life. Worldly busyness disconnects us from our God.

Our relationship with God is living and breathing. It needs the space to take in oxygen, to receive, to give – it needs time and room to prosper.

While I’m not saying God will always bless you with a spouse once you start making more time for him, I am saying that if you want to follow the Lord’s leading in your relationship desires, you must prioritize this with your time and energy.

And if you’re a Christian woman who wants help knowing how to meet her future husband, my newest book is for you. It’s called Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.