4 Biblical Truths God Will Use to Lead You to the Right Person

What we believe dictates what we choose to do and where we choose to go. This principle directly impacts who you will end up marrying one day.

If your choices in life are being governed by a faulty belief system, you will end up with a difficult partner that you can’t thrive in marriage with. Thus, to end up with the right person God has for you, you must have the right beliefs guiding you.

Here are 4 biblical truths God will use to lead you to the right person he wants you to marry one day.

1. The Mission You Choose in Life Will Dictate Who You Partner with In Life

Do you remember those stressful days at recess as a kid when we had to pick teams for the given sport we were playing? If we were playing kickball, for example, the person who would kick the best was chosen first and the person who kicked the worst was chosen last. However, if those same group of kids had to pick groups to do a science project with, the most intelligent kids were chosen first and those who struggled academically were picked last. Lastly, if someone was having a birthday party, they simply chose the people from class that they liked the most.

My point? Just as kids in school pairing off for a specific reason, so too will our missions in life dictate who we choose to partner with. If your mission in life is to have as much carnal fun as possible, you will choose to partner with people who love to gratify their flesh. If your missions in life is to make as much money as possible, you will choose to partner with people who also love money. But if your mission in life is to glorify God, then you will intentionally choose to partner with people who also want to glorify God too. As Ephesians 2:3-5 (NIV) explains:

All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”

When our mission was to please our own sinful flesh, we partnered with others doing the same. Thus, when you choose to love Christ, you will naturally want to partner with people also doing that.

Romance doesn’t last unless it’s paired with a mission that is greater than the relationship itself. Choosing a partner? For what? Why you choose someone will dictate who you choose, and who you choose will dictate the compatibility. Thus, you have to start with your mission to find “the one.” When your aim is to glorify God, that aim will naturally help you find the right person.

2. Love Doesn’t Just Fuel Commitment. Commitment Also Fuels Your Love

When a man and woman pretend to be married (premarital sex, emotionally pretending you are married, cohabitating, etc.) in order to see if they will make it in real marriage one day, usually this blows up in their faces. Why?

Acting married without the commitment of real marriage is like going to war with people who haven’t joined the military. As a squad of soldiers, your commitment and oath as soldiers creates a common bond that forms a brotherhood necessary for battle. If you go to war with people who have not taken the same military oath as you, they will abandon you and the mission when the bullets start flying.

Many people think you must “go on a test drive” together before marriage to see if you make a good team. However, without the commitment of marriage, the couple will abandon each other when things get hard. If you are only willing to make a commitment to someone once they have gone through the fire with you, you will never make it through the fire with anyone. The fire doesn’t create the commitment. The commitment creates the ability to make it through the fire.

In other words, many people think that your love must fuel the vows you make in marriage. There is an element of truth to that idea. However, it’s also true that the vows you make in marriage end up fueling the love you have for this person too.

Thus, when choosing a partner for life, you want to make sure they have the same views as you about commitment (Philippians 2:3-11). If they think they can only stay commitment when they feel like loving you, they will eventually leave you. However, if they know that once they commit, they will choose to love you forever, then their feelings of love for you will also remain forever.

3. Sacrificing Your Desires for This Person Will Lead to the Fulfillment of Your Desires with This Person

Throughout the Bible there is a reoccurring theme of dying so you can live, letting go so you can gain, leaving so you can be found, and so on (Matthew 6:33).

Thus, if you want to end up with the right person in marriage one day, you must be careful you are choosing someone who believes in this path to happiness just like you. If you are sacrificing for them but they are not sacrificing for you, the highest form of happiness in marriage will not be experienced. Yes, even if they do not sacrifice for you, God will reward you and bless you still if you are sacrificing for them (Acts 20:35). But for the relationship to be healthy in marriage, the love must be mutual. The man and woman must both be putting the other person above themselves if they want to have a Christian relationship (Philippians 2:3).

And when we do the hard things in love, we end up getting even more joy than we sacrificed. As it says in Hebrews 12:2, “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

4. Putting God Above Each Other Is the Best Way to Love Each Other

What is the most loving thing you can do for another person? I would argue that the most essential component to loving someone else is to have a greater love for God.

If our relationship with God is not right, we can never have a right relationship with other people. If our love for them surpasses our love for God, we are committing idolatry (1 John 5:21). Thus, this relationship we are asking God to bless will actually become a curse to us. Anything that hurts your walk with God is a curse.

However, when you love God more than you love this person, you are then filled with the love of God to actually love this person in a far greater way (Romans 5:5, 1 John 4:18-21). Thus, to meet and marry the right person, you and this person must both know that you must always put God above the other person.

By being right with God, he will lead you to the right person.