Here’s 4 reasons God doesn’t allow some relationships to work out.
1. God Often Doesn’t Allow a Relationship to Work Out When He Was Simply Using that Relationship to Prepare You for Your Future Marriage
One confusing situation that often happens for Christian singles who are truly walking with God in singleness and seeking to honor him is when they feel released by God to date someone but then that relationship does not result in marriage.
One possible explanation for a situation like this is that God actually did lead you to date this person, but his purpose for this relationship was not to have you get married but rather to teach you things that will benefit you in the future relationship with the person he does want you to marry.
In our humanness we would certainly prefer that God would allow us all to date one person and then marry this person rather than go through all the hurt and confusion of breakups, but oftentimes God doesn’t do this because he knows we need to learn important lessons first so we will be ready when we do meet the one God has for us. Romans 5:3-5 states:
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
2. God Doesn’t Allow Some Relationships to Work Out Because He Never Wanted Them to Start to Begin With
While God can certainly lead you to date someone that he does not want you to marry, it is also possible that we end up dating someone God never wanted us to be with from the start.
This can occur for a few different reasons. It’s possible that we just made a genuine mistake. We tried to hear God, we tried to do what was most biblical, but somewhere along the way we got confused and started to date this person God did not want us to date. On the other hand, sometimes we actually do sense God saying “no” to this relationship but we enter into it anyway.
In either case, whether it was a genuine error that we made even though our intentions were good or it was genuine rebellion against God, he will not bless a relationship that we are forcing.
It’s really easy to get into the wrong relationship, which is one of the reasons I created AGW University. If you haven’t heard, open enrollment for these relationship training courses and email coaching opportunity with me will be closing in just 2 days on 8/20/2019 at 11:59pm (EST). With her permission I wanted to share a quick testimony of one of my students with you:
I feel so blessed by you and the training and instruction that I wouldn’t have otherwise received had I said, “No, not right now God” . . . . I am really going through a serious season of spiritual change and growth right now and I’m so grateful that God loves me enough to rebuke, correct and mold me in His love.” – Nafisah
I created AGW University specifically for Christian singles who want to truly follow God and embrace his will for their relationships. Singleness and dating can be very hard and confusing, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you are interested in these courses, the private Facebook group with all the other single men and women AGW students, and the one-on-one email coaching with me, feel free to click here for more information.
3. God Doesn’t Allow Some Relationships to Work Out Because He Allows Human Choices to Have Both Good and Bad Consequences
Anytime we ask questions about God’s will, it inevitably invokes deep questions about the relationship between God’s sovereignty and man’s free will. Does God’s will always happen in relationships or does he allow human choices to actually matter?
I answer that question in much greater detail in the article/video called, “Does God’s Will Always Happen in Relationships?” The short answer, however, is that God’s sovereignty is not expressed in manipulating man’s free will but rather God’s power can be seen when he accomplishes his own will through the free choices of people. In other words, God really does allow people to make good and bad choices that really do have positive and negative consequences even though he is still ultimately in control of everything.
So one possible reasons God does not allow some relationships to work out is because the people in that relationship are not following his biblical principles. When we disobey what the word of God says, we really do reap what we so as Galatians 6:7-8 instructs.
4. God Doesn’t Allow Some Relationships to Work Out Because He Has a Different Plan for You that Will Bring Him More Glory
If you wanted to pull back the theological lens as far as it can go, the ultimate answer for every question that begins with “Why does God . . . ?” can be answered every time the same way, “For his glory.”
According to the Scriptures, everything God does, he ultimately does for his own glory. God is the only person who can do this without a selfish motive because God knows God is best. For God to allow anyone else to take center stage in our life would be unloving because he knows that our greatest joy can only be found in him.
So one reason God does not allow some relationships to work out is because he has a totally different plan for you that will actually bring him more glory. And because our joy and God’s glory are ultimately linked together, God’s desire to bring himself more glory in a different way in your life is the same thing as saying that God has a better plan for you that will actually bring you more joy in the end. As Psalm 89:15 states, “Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord.”
If you are a Christian single who wants to be married one day, don’t forget to check out AGW University. There’s just 2 more days to enroll if you want all the courses, access to the Facebook group, and the 3 months of bonus email coaching with me. I’m not sure when I will be able to offer this again and space is limited so you can click here to learn more if you are interested!
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