Here are 4 signs that God is calling you increase your trust in him specifically when it comes to your relationship desires.
1. If You Freak Out and Kind of Lose Your Mind Anytime There Is a Relationship Opportunity in Your Life, This Is a Good Sign God Is Leading You to Trust Him More
Sometimes when we want something too badly, we end up putting so much pressure on ourselves that we begin to act in ways that are uncharacteristic. It’s very similar to an athlete who is playing in the championship game. When she is at practice with her teammates and no one else is watching, she will often perform at her best because there is very little pressure on her. But when there are thousands of people in the stands and a championship is on the line, the pressure may cause her to perform less than ideal.
So if you have a pattern of getting way too worked up anytime there is a possibility of you getting into a relationship, this could be a sign that God is leading you to put less pressure on yourself and to trust him more.
2. If You Have a History of Either Scaring People Away or Bailing Before the Relationship Even Really Started, This Could Be a Sign God Is Leading You to Trust Him More
Sometimes relationships just end quickly for a variety of other possibilities that are not your fault. If you feel led to end a relationship when it is just starting, then you should do that.
But many times a relationship ends prematurely due to an overzealousness and passion. When someone feels like you are placing too much pressure on them too early in the relationship, they will often grow scared and distance themselves. On the flipside, sometimes this internal nervous energy is just too much to bear ourselves and thus we are the ones to end the relationship prematurely.
So if there is a pattern in your life of scaring people away or bailing yourself before the relationship even really starts, this could be a sign God is trying to tell you that you need to trust him more. For as Philippians 4:6-7 states:
. . . do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
3. If You Feel Like You Are Over Spiritualizing the Process of Getting Into a Relationship and Under Valuing the Practical Wisdom Needed to Interact with the Opposite Sex, This Could Be a Sign God Is Leading You to Trust Him More
I do think the term “over spiritualize” can be misunderstood quite easily because it is impossible to focus on God too much. Far as we just read in Philippians 4:6, God calls us to pray about everything.
So God would never call us to pray less or focus on him less. However, he could be calling us to take more practical and wise steps to receive the things we are asking for. One reason over spiritualizing relationships is a sign of wanting a relationship too much is because sometimes people want a marriage so bad that they fear messing it all up and so they feel like the only way to avoid messing things up is by letting God do everything for them. God doesn’t work this way. He will always include us in the process as well even though we are imperfect and will make mistakes.
So if you feel paralyzed, this could be because you are not trusting God enough. Ironically, an abundance of trust will not manifest in waiting for God to do everything; rather, an abundance of trust will express itself in your belief that you are free to act even though you will not be perfect because God is sovereign and will still accomplish his will through you.
4. If You Have Big Swings Between Totally Shutting Down Towards Being in a Relationship and Trying Everything Possible to Be in a Relationship, This Could Be a Sign God Is Leading You to Trust Him More
Idolatry always manifests itself in the extremes. Someone who is idolizing the importance of food could struggle with extreme dieting or obesity. Someone who idolizes money could be struggling with spending too much or being too frugal. And someone who is idolizing relationships may manifest this through an extreme pursuit or through an extreme avoidance.
Most of the time people assume that relationship idols manifest when people relentlessly pursue a relationship. That can be the case, but it is just as possible to put a relationship on such a high pedestal that you completely avoid the opposite sex all together.
Perhaps the clearest sign of all this is when there is a combination of both expressions of relationship idolatry. So if you are continually swinging back and forth between the extremes of avoiding relationships and pursuing a relationship, this could be a sign that God is leading you to find a more balanced approach where you are content in Christ even if you remain single while also being open to a relationship if God brings someone into your life.