5 Things that Will Happen When God Is Telling You to Avoid a Certain Woman

Here are 5 things that often happen when God is telling you to avoid a certain woman.

1. If Her Beliefs About You Are Controlled By Her Former Experiences with Other Men, God Is Probably Telling You to Avoid Her

As Christian men, we want to be careful that we are not being harsh and unloving. If a woman has gone through trauma in her past, if she has been through hurtful relationship experiences before, and if men have used her in unloving ways, we certainly want to be empathetic about that. We don’t want to be judgmental and cruel.

With that said, when it comes to friendship and dating, you have to remember there must be healthy boundaries when interacting with wounded women. You can’t offer them the level of support a husband should offer. You can’t take on their burdens too much since you are called to guard your own heart first (Proverbs 4:23).

The truth is, if a woman is projecting past issues onto you because of her hurtful experiences with other men, this is a sign you should avoid her. If she’s willing to repent of doing this and is putting in work to heal and stop this behavior, things could work out between you two. But if she is not and she’s just intent on projecting, there’s no hope. Let her go.

2. If She Seems to Have a Wildly Unstable Personality, God Is Probably Telling You to Avoid Her

One day she might seem balanced and happy with you. But then the next day she starts making crazy accusations with no facts to back them up. One day she is drama free and seems to be an easy person to be around. The next day she starts reading into your words and assuming you meant something you obviously didn’t mean.

Don’t get me wrong, no one is perfectly in control of their emotions all the time. We all struggle with letting our feelings dictate our beliefs in unhealthy ways at times. But when this happens to a healthy person, they are self-aware enough to know this is happening and then they take steps to either not act on these feelings or they do what they can to become a more balanced person with self-control. At worst, they wake up the next day and know they made a mistake and then they are mature enough to apologize and repent.

But an emotionally dangerous woman lacks this self-awareness. She just gives into her every emotional impulse and expects you to ride the rollercoaster with her. Don’t. You can never have a stable relationship with an unstable woman.

As Proverbs 9:7 states, “Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.”

3. If She Is Looking for a Man to Become Dependent on in an Unbiblical Way, This Means God Wants You to Avoid Her

Being dependent on someone is not always a bad thing. In healthy relationships, people drop their guard and allow themselves to need others and to be needed by others. As Galatians 6:2-3 states, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

But in context, these two verses are preceded by a warning. Galatians 6:1 states, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Here we can see that it’s good to try to help people who are struggling. But we also need to be really careful that we don’t get so involved in someone else’s mess that it becomes our own mess.

If a woman needs you to be her savior, she should be avoided. None of us can save each other. All we can do is point each other to the true Savior, Jesus Christ. If she refuses to look to Jesus and she is only looking to you for help, if she wants you to solve all her problems and make her feel stable in every way, if she is becoming dependent on you in ways that you know you can never live up to – these are signs God wants you to avoid her.

4. If God Allows You to Encounter People Who All Corroborate a Similar Horror Story Involving This Woman, This Is a Good Sign God Is Telling You to Avoid Her

Don’t put too much weight in one person’s negative opinion of this woman. But if you meet multiple people who are sharing the same types of concerns with you about her, this should be taken seriously.

The worst type of people often gain a reputation for their evil actions. Notice how everyone knew how evil Paul (formally Saul) was before he was saved by Jesus Christ. Acts 9:13 states, “But Ananias answered, ‘Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints at Jerusalem.’” Acts 9:21 also says, “And all who heard him were amazed and said, ‘Is not this the man who made havoc in Jerusalem of those who called upon this name? And has he not come here for this purpose, to bring them bound before the chief priests?’”

People can change, like Paul did; but if there is no evidence of a change like there was with Paul and there is a bad report about this woman from many people, this is a good sign God wants you to avoid her.

5. If Your Relationship with God Is Getting Worse Since You Started Engaging with This Woman, This Is a Strong Sign the Lord Wants You to Avoid Her

Always put God first. If a woman ever starts coming between you and Jesus, let her go. It’s not worth it.

When God leads you to the right woman, she will enhance your relationship with God, not weaken it (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

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