Today we are going to be reviewing some highlights from a video on the channel called Caleb Hammer. Here’s a link to the full video if you want to watch it, Financial Audit’s Most Evil Guest.
Please be aware that Caleb Hammer is not a Christian channel and I certainly don’t support some of the language and values expressed there. However, I do believe this video can provide us with an excellent opportunity to study why the Bible talks about money in the way it does and why this is an important topic for Christian singles to consider when choosing a spouse.
While this content would be relevant for men choosing a wife, today I will be coming at this from the perspective of a Christian woman looking for a godly husband. By reviewing parts of this video and applying Scripture, we will see at least 8 reasons a Christian woman should seek to marry a man who’s biblical with money.
I won’t be playing the whole video, so if you want to get the full context, feel free to watch it yourself. To help set up the context for our conversation, Caleb Hammer does financial audits. He entertains the audience by being over the top and cruel to his guests. It’s kind of like a celebrity roast combined with a Dave Ramsey seminar.
In this episode, a husband and wife come on who are in serious financial problems. The husband is 28 and makes 84k annually, the wife is 26 and makes 25k annually, they’ve been together since high school, and they have a 1-year-old daughter together. They have 400k in total debt.
Alright, let’s get into the first clip.
Point 1: If You Find a Man Who’s Biblical with Money, That’s a Great Sign He Will Be Biblical in Other Areas Too
After the husband says he likes to spend money and not tell his wife, Caleb gives us a sad but true insight: Many husbands lied to their wives about finances. This is common! 2 Timothy 3:1-2 says, “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money . . . .”
It’s going to be hard to find a man who really loves God. So you have to have ways of seeing the truth about a guy. His money habits will tell you a lot.
Of course there are women and wives who are unbiblical with money too. My point here, however, is that if you want to marry a man who is biblical and seeking to honor the Lord, his finances are a great report card to examine.
I’m certainly not saying you should judge him by how much he makes. Rather, I’m saying that a guy can say he believes the Bible, but sometimes his wallet says otherwise. Every time we spend a dollar, it’s like we are casting a vote. How we spend our money tells us what we really value.
As Jesus taught us in Matthew 6:21-24, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also . . . No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”
Point 2: If a Man Is Idolizing Money, You Will Not Be Able to Communicate with Him About Money
If you were to watch this whole video, there are numerous sections where this couple explains that they cannot talk about money without him getting offended, getting mad, sometimes yelling, and arguing in a very unproductive way.
This is what always happens when you’re dealing with someone’s idol. You won’t be able to have a rational conversation with them about this topic. If you have to walk on eggshells or else they will throw a temper tantrum, you are probably threatening their idol.
A biblical example of this can be seen in Acts 19:21-40. After Paul shares the gospel in Ephesus, people start abandoning their former false god called Artemis. The men who made the idols of Artemis, therefore, started losing a lot of money. So they started a riot and tried to attack Paul. This is exactly what people do when you start threatening their idols.
The husband in this video freaks out anytime his wife talks about money because he’s idolizing it. This is a powerful warning to you as a Christian woman looking for a good husband. Obviously you want to have great communication with your husband, including when it comes to the finances. This is impossible if you marry a man who loves money.
Point 3: If You Are Biblical About Money But This Man Is Not, You Two Will Be Divided in Marriage
One of the reasons this man’s terrible spending habits is having such a bad effect on his marriage is because his wife doesn’t also have these bad habits. He’s a spender and she’s a saver. Without the same value system, it’s very hard to be unified (1 John 3:1). You simply can’t have a healthy marriage when there is this level of division.
So the tip here for Christian women is that your spending and saving habits are a big factor in how well you will get along with a certain man if you were to marry him. It often surprises people when they get married that money becomes such a huge issue because before marriage, your finances are usually split. But when you get married, you should combine them. You have to remember this fact when you are looking for a husband. While you might be willing to accept him as he is now because his financial choices don’t affect you, just remember that in marriage, his money choices will affect you.
1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”
Point 4: If You Marry a Man Who Lacks Self-Control with Money, You Will End Up Feeling Hopeless
Money issues are often a self-control issue. Yes, sometimes there needs to be education that occurs so the person can realize there are different options. But again, usually this comes back to a lack of self-control
This is a great tip to remember if you want to marry a man who is biblical with money. Perhaps you are younger and you two don’t have money. Or perhaps the relationship is new and it would be inappropriate for you to start asking this man about his finances already. One thing you can do is just look at his self-control in general.
If he lacks self-control generally – like scrolling on his phone way too long, showing up to work late, eating foods he says he wishes he didn’t eat – that is a strong sign he will be bad with money too.
Hebrews 13:5, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”
Point 5: A Man Who Is a Slave to Money Is Not Free to Lovingly Provide for His Family as He Should
Money is not evil. The love of money is evil. Money is a tool God wants us to use for good purposes. You can even enjoy money in a biblical way. As 1 Timothy 6:17-18 states:
As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”
If you marry a man who is a slave to money, he will not be able to provide for you and the family in love. Instead of using money to protect and provide for his family, he will use it to serve himself.
Point 6: If You Marry a Man Who Is Controlling with Money, You Could End Up Feeling Trapped
I’m not advocating that a woman divorce her husband if he was lying about money or bad with saving. However, I do believe this is a great snapshot of why it’s so important that you choose your husband wisely.
A man and woman are supposed to be a team. This is especially evident during the childrearing years. When a woman has young children, she is often dependent on her husband to be a good provider.
1 Timothy 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Point 7: If You Marry a Man Who Is Bad with Money, It Will Often Result in Him Lying to You
Let’s go back to 1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”
When we get out of control in one area of our lives, it always contaminates every other area of our lives. If a man is dishonest with himself about money, spending what he doesn’t have and justifying bad purchases, eventually he will end up being dishonest with you.
Point 8: If You Marry a Man Who Is Bad with Money, You Will Be Enslaved By Debt Too
When you marry a man, you two are supposed to become one family unit (Genesis 2:24). Thus, your finances should become one as well. If you marry a man who is bad with finances, his debt will become your burden too.
Psalm 37:21, “The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives . . .”
Proverbs 22:7, “ . . . the borrower is the slave of the lender.”
