Have you ever said something like, “There are just no Christians singles at my church” or “I live in a small town so my options are really limited” or “I tried online dating once and it was a total disaster” or “The only people who want to date me are non-Christians.”
If you are a Christian single person who wants to honor God in a marriage one day, but you are unsure of what steps you need to take to actually meet the person God wants you to marry, you are certainly not alone. One of the biggest barriers to a successful Christian dating relationship is opportunity. This is by far one of the most common frustrations I hear when I am coaching Christian singles who want to be married.
So in this article I am going to share with you some really valuable information from one of my courses called 10 Steps to Meet The One God Has for You. In this course I reveal the only 3 approaches there are for meeting, dating, and marrying the one God has for you.
But before we launch into this content, I want to encourage you to read to the very end of this article because I have some unique but time sensitive offers for you. If you are interested in receiving private email coaching from me, in-depth relationship courses for Christian singles who want to be married, and access to a private Facebook group where you, me, and other students can have group discussions on relevant relationship and biblical topics, again, make sure you read to the end of this video because I have some time sensitive opportunities for you that I think you will absolutely love.
Okay, now let’s dive into the content of this article. If you are a Christina single person who wants to be married, your journey must start in the exact same place as every other person who’s ever gotten married. While every relationship is unique and different, they all start the exact same way: a man and woman must meet for the firs time.
Every marriage journey started with that first encounter. It doesn’t matter if someone marred their childhood friend that they’ve known their whole life or they married someone they met through online dating, at some point there was a first encounter between this man and woman. So if you want to get married one day, you have to actually meet Christian singles of the opposite sex. It is literally impossible to get married if you do not accomplish this first step.
So what can you do to meet the one God has for you? In short I believe there are essentially three options for Christian singles: There’s the random approach, the natural approach, and the intentional approach.
The random option is when you make zero effort to change anything in your life while simultaneously hoping you meet an eligible Christian single person that you have a connection with. You might be praying every night for a godly spouse, but if you alter nothing else in your life and you are hoping that you randomly run into an eligible Christian single person that you have great chemistry with, you are using the random approach.
There is certainly nothing sinful about this approach and you are not doing anything wrong if you believe God will just randomly bring someone into your life with no effort on your part, but you should know this is the least successful path to meeting other Christian singles. Why? Because meeting Christian singles in places where you would not naturally expect to meet Christian singles is a low percentage strategy. While there is nothing wrong with hoping that you will meet someone at the gym, at the grocery store, at the bank, or at some other place where Christian singles do not intentionally go, this is just an unlikely event to occur. It is not impossible, but it is the least likely option you have when it comes to meeting eligible Christian singles.
The natural option, however, is what most Christians have used who have found a spouse even though most people do not know they are using this option. Many times people think they used the random option to find their spouse and many Christian singles feel like everyone is finding success using the random option except them, but in reality, while the natural option sometimes looks like the random option, these two approaches to meeting the one God has for you are very different. The difference between the two is that the random option is based on luck and the natural option is based on common sense and odds.
The natural option is when Christian singles go places where it would be very normal and expected to meet other Christian singles there. While you should not expect to run into lots of eligible Christian singles your age at the grocery store or at your secular workplace, it would make a lot of sense to meet other Christian singles on a mission’s trip or at a singles ministry at church.
For example, while it might seem random when people meet, date, and marry their future spouse while attending a Christian college, the reality is that this is a very natural outcome. If you go somewhere that has thousands of Christian singles right at the age where they are getting ready for marriage, it is very statistically likely that many people will meet, date, and eventually get married to each other in this type of setting. People may have not enrolled in college to meet their future spouse, but it is very natural when this happens.
Likewise, when people meet their future Christian spouse at church, on a mission’s trip, or through mutual a Christian friend, these are natural outcomes. They may have not intentionally done these things to meet someone, but the odds of meeting other Christian singles are good when you go where other Christians singles are.
The natural option is what I recommend Christian singles try first. There’s a lot more intentional steps you will need to take if you want to use this natural approach, but it all starts with meeting other Christian singles.
And finally, if you try the natural approach and for whatever reason it doesn’t seem to be working for you but you still feel called to glorify God in a Christian marriage one day, it’s at this point where I would encourage you to try the third approach which I call “the intentional option.”
The intentional option is when you don’t just naturally go places where Christians singles would be; rather, it’s when you intentionally go there with the purpose of trying to make a romantic connection. Online dating would be the most obvious example for this option. You don’t enroll for an online Christian dating website unless your goal is to specifically meet someone to date. You can go to church to learn the word of God and naturally meet someone there too. But when you go on a blind date that your trusted Christian friend set you up on, now you are using the intentional approach.
While I believe the intentional approach should usually only be tried after the natural approach, I also want to emphasize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being more intentional in meeting Christian singles as long as your motive is to glorify God in marriage one day. Unfortunately, in my opinion, there has been a lot of theological misapplication when it comes to the Christian pre-dating process. For many reasons that I can’t fully unpack here, Christians fear that if they do anything intentional to actually increase the odds of meeting the person God has for them, they are taking matters into their own hands and not trusting God enough.
While it is certainly easy to idolize relationships and take matters into our own hands, the real key is to be biblically consistent in every area of our lives. When we get sick, we pray and go to the doctor. When we want to serve God in ministry more, we pray and signup for a ministry at church. When we need a job, we pray and send out our resumes to companies that have openings. And yet, when it comes to relationships, many Christian singles believe everything should happen randomly or else God is not leading the process.
There’s so much more I need to say, and I do unpack these topics a lot more in my courses, but here’s my advice if you are a Christian single person who wants success in dating: Don’t try the random approach. Focus first on the natural approach, and if that is not working then feel free to try the intentional approach without any guilt or shame.
As long as you are following God, obeying his word, and seeking to glorify him in your relationship desires, there’s nothing wrong with being more intentional. As 1 Corinthians 10:31 states, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
Here’s the details about those time sensitive opportunities I mentioned earlier!
Do you want to be able to ask me personal questions about your unique relationship circumstances in a one-on-one setting? Would you like to be married one day but you don’t know the biblical and practical steps to take? And would you like to join me and over 100 other students who have already enrolled in AGW University as we have group discussions in a private Facebook group?
If so, I wanted to let you know that open enrollment for AGW University is now open again. My first round of students are currently going through the courses and the feedback has been great so far. But if you want access to the three months of bonus email coaching with me and you want to join me and the rest of the students for a 10-week group study through my course called Heart Check that we will do together in a private Facebook group, then you need to enroll before the deadline of February 28th at 11:59pm (EST).
That’s right around the corner, so if you are interested, don’t let this opportunity pass you bye. Perhaps it’s time to try something new and fresh.
I’d love to work with you, so don’t miss out. Click here to see all the course content and time sensitive bonuses.