6 Reasons Christian Men Should Get Married Young

Proverbs 5:18

I’m a big believer in the biblical truth about God’s sovereignty. Sometimes it’s just not God’s will for a man to get married when he’s younger. Perhaps God wants you to get married in your 30s, 40s, or even later. None of that is wrong or unbiblical!

So throughout this article, I’m not saying getting married younger is always right for every single man. However, culturally there is pressure on people these days to get married later in life than ever before. According to the US Census Bureau, in 1950 the average age for a man to get married was 23 (age 20 for women). In 2022, the average age for a man to get married was 30 (age 28 for women).¹

I believe this is an unhealthy trend. Again, for some individual men it’s simply God’s will that they get married later in life. There certainly are benefits to get married later in life too. But I’m simply advocating for the benefits of marrying young in this article as there are many benefits to this path as well that are being neglected at this point in our society.

So when possible, here are 6 reasons it’s often a good idea for a Christian man to get married when he is younger rather than waiting until he is older.

And please note, this is not an exhaustive list. Additionally, no matter the age, I only recommend a Christian get married once they meet the biblical requirements for marriage.² However, it should also be noted that when you marry young, it’s possible you will grow more as a Christian and grow less if you were to remain single for longer.

1. You Should Marry Young When Possible Because It’s Good for a Man to Embrace Responsibility Rather Than Running from It

Men are now taught that freedom is equal to the absence of responsibility. If you want to be free, therefore, you must stay unmarried, don’t take your career too serious, and live in such a way where you are deeply dependent on your parents for as long as possible.

This is not freedom in a biblical perspective. Rather, this is selfishness and immaturity. True freedom is not the absence of responsibility but rather having the power to do what you want. For example, when you are a slave to sin and thus you can’t do what you want for God, the Bible says you are not free (Romans 6:16).

To be free as a man, therefore, you must choose to do what you want. And when the Spirit of God is moving in you as a man, you will want to take responsibility for others in love because that is what God designed you to do as a man. Galatians 5:13, “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Therefore, as a man, when possible, it’s good to get married when you are young because this added responsibility brings immense meaning to your life, it keeps you focused rather wasting time as youths tend to do when they lack responsibility, it matures you, and it allows you to experience love for another in a deep way that satisfies your soul.

2. Men Should Marry Young When Possible Because It’s Easier to Find a Godly Woman and Then Mature as Christians Together

This is not meant to be a fact leading to hopelessness for older singles who long to be married. Remember, everything is under God’s sovereignty; so I’m not saying it’s ever too late for someone to get married. I’m just talking about the facts that we can all see when being honest: The pool of eligible Christian singles will shrink the longer you wait.

This is an important fact for younger Christians to be aware of because they are constantly told, “What’s the rush? You have so much time. Don’t get so serious right now.” While I’m certainly in agreement that you should not rush a relationship, I don’t believe that you always have plenty of time. The older you get, the harder it will be to find a godly spouse.

Song of Solomon 8:4 states, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” While this verse is usually used to warn people to slow down, it can also be used to warn people not to stall love when the time is right. You can’t force God do something he’s not going to do right now. But you can refuse something good God wants to give you by being lazy and immature.

When you are younger, you tend to have larger groups of friends who are also single. This larger social pool will never be better than it is when you are younger. By waiting to pursue marriage when you are older, you are simply choosing to seek a spouse when you have less options. 

3. Men Should Marry Young When Possible Because It’s Easier to Adapt in Marriage When Younger

Nowadays people advocate getting married older in life because they talk about how we now know the brain is still developing until at least the mid 20s. They thus conclude that you should only get married once your brain is totally done developing. Perhaps there’s some negatives to this, though. Perhaps God wants a man and woman’s brain to be malleable when they get married so they can adapt together.

It can be an advantage to get married while your brains are still developing because then your spouse is hardwired into your brain’s rhythm while it’s still developing. When your older, your more set in your ways and it’s harder to adapt to each other as a couple.

As Proverbs 5:18 states, “. . . rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

4. It Appears that God Sexually Designed Us to Marry Young

According to Scripture, a strong sexual desire is a sign you should pursue marriage (1 Corinthians 7:1-9). With that fact in mind, since our sexual desires are at their strongest when we are younger, it seems plausible that God designed our sexuality with marrying younger in mind. As Proverbs 5:18-19 states:

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”

5. You Should Marry Young When Possible Because This Is Usually Better for the Woman God Has for You

The longer you wait to pursue the woman God has for you, the more men are going to try and pursue that woman (2 Timothy 3:6). Women are typically the ones getting pursued. Thus, it is difficult for her to constantly say no to men. Of course it’s still her job as a Christian woman to reject sinful men. I’m not saying it’s okay for her give into temptation.

I’m just saying that the whole thing often works better and has less issues when a couple can meet, date, and marry each other sooner rather than later. The less needless relationship experiences you have the better. Sometimes it’s certainly needed to go through dating relationship that don’t result in marriage because God can use all of that to develop us.

But these relationships also bring sexual temptation and opportunities for wounds to develop. So it’s often better for everyone when the man and woman date less people by getting married younger. 

A husband is meant to be a protection to his wife. By delaying your pursuit of marriage as a Christian man, you are also delaying one of God’s daughter’s from having the protection she needs from her future husband.

6. You Should Marry Young When Possible Because Becoming a Father Sooner Rather than Later Has Many Benefits

Men today are afraid of fatherhood. They worry about becoming a dad too soon, they worry about not being able to provide for a family, and they worry they might get divorced and lose custody of their children. And so, many men wait to become fathers or just avoid it all together.

This is unbiblical. Yes, the courts are unfair towards men. But what does that have to do with being a godly man? God doesn’t call men to obey the Bible and embrace his design for masculinity just when it’s convenient and socially safe. Being a Christian is always a risk. If you are avoiding fatherhood and marriage because of culture, this means you fear man more than God. Marriage and the family is God’s design, not the government’s. 

It’s fine if you feel led by God to delay marriage and fatherhood; but it’s not biblical to delay these blessings because of fear. Being a husband and a father is an essential part of masculinity. These two roles are pivotal in what sets men and women apart. Only a woman can be a wife and mother and only a man can be husband and a father. The majority of roles in this lifetime can be fulfilled by either gender. By delaying your marriage and delaying having kids, you are delaying an essential part of what it means to be a godly man. As Psalm 127:3-5 gloriously states:

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!”