Some Christians are called to singleness. These types of people are typically quite content with not being in a romantic relationship, they don’t struggle with sexual temptation, and their desire for singleness is rooted in their desire to serve God.
Most Christians who are single, however, don’t fall into this category. The vast majority of us have not been blessed with the gift of singleness. One lie churches often unintentionally teach Christian singles is that it’s not okay to be discontent with their singleness. Through well meant teachings and seminars on how Christian singles must find all their contentment in Christ, people often end up feeling guilty for being unhappy about their lack of marriage. Many people feel it is wrong to want to be married.
Isaiah 62:5, Mark 10:9
The difference between teen romance and a deeply committed marriage is persevering faithfulness. When you date, you are gauging whether or not you want to remain with that person. When you get married, your only thought is to remain, love, and be faithful no matter what happens. Likewise, to be Christian, you must move past the dating season and fully commit to your marriage with God.
Colossians 4:3-6, Galatians 1:10
Does the Bible say we should not care what others think about us? No, but it does say we must seek to please God over people.
As every Christian matures, one of the things the Holy Spirit will surely convict us of is seeking the praise of man over God. In our sinful nature, we care about what others think of us for the wrong reasons.
Caring What Others Think of You Can Be Expressed Wrongly in Two Ways
When we seek the praise of people, it can be expressed in many different ways. The two ends of the spectrum are obsessive pursuit and obsessive avoidance. One person may do anything to be praised by people, while another person will do anything not to be seen by people, but both can have the same root issue – caring too much about what people think of them.
Proverbs 6:4-11, 2 Corinthians 9:6
Getting married changes everything. The hope is that it changes your life for the better, but the guarantee is that marriage will change you no matter what.
Christian singleness can be lonely. You may not feel lonely every moment, every day, or even every week, but most Christian singles really struggle with loneliness.
1 Corinthians 7:7
What does the Bible say about singleness? Is Christian singleness a curse or a blessing?
The Bible answers all questions like these indirectly and directly. What follows is a foundational understanding of what the Bible says about singleness.
1 Corinthians 10:31
What I’m about to say is going to come off as blasphemous at first. So please read this whole article to get the full context of this statement. If you do, I believe you will better enjoy your Christian singleness and be better situated to find a Christian spouse. Alright, here it goes:
Stop trying to put God first as a way of finding your future spouse.
Finding someone to marry seems like a mysterious process. And in some ways it really is. God has a plan for you full of twists and turns, and if you are called to marriage, God knows just how he is going to bring your future husband or wife into your life.
While Christian singles certainly must trust and submit to the sovereignty of God, that doesn’t mean God has not outlined specific actions that will increase your chances of getting married. While finding the one will always have elements of mystery to it, there are always reasons for everything, including why you are not married.
What follows is not an exhaustive list of reasons you’re not married. These are just some of the most common reasons, or roadblocks (depending how you look at), for why many Christian singles are not married.
There’s been a lot said to Christian singles who desire to find a spouse. “Just pray about it.” “Just serve Jesus and he’ll take care of it.” “Stop desiring to be married and then God will bless you with a Christian spouse.” “Just get on a Christian dating site already and stop talking to me about this all the time!”
When it comes down to it, there seems to be two camps in the “How to find a Christian spouse” advice market. One group says just serve Jesus and it will take care of itself. The other group says God only helps those who help themselves.
So which is it? What’s the best way to find a Christian spouse?
If you’re like everyone else who has ever lived on planet earth, you’ve probably experienced some confusion about your life. What am I supposed to do with myself? How can I make more money? When will I meet my spouse? Should we buy this house or not? Why is life so difficult?