Matthew 22:34-40
Here are 14 possible reasons for why God wants you single right now.
1. God Wants You Single to Teach You How to Love Him First While Still Loving Other People Too
The two commands that summarize all of God’s law are to love the Lord and love people (Matthew 22:34-40).
However, when we start loving people, it’s easy to elevate them to a place above God in our hearts. People are right in front of us visibly. It takes faith to follow God (Hebrews 11:1-3). In sin, we often worship what we see rather than the One who is God but we can’t currently see (Romans 1:23-25).
Through a healthy season of singleness, God will train you to love people without idolizing them. This will benefit you through all of life, especially when you get a spouse and children. It will be tempting to idolize them because you love them so much.
2. God Wants You Single So He Can Prepare You for Marriage
It’s okay to date responsibly if you are looking for a spouse. It’s wise to break up and date someone new once you know you should not marry that person. Dating a bunch of people, however, is not the best preparation for marriage.
Singleness is actually the best preparation for marriage. Dating people you don’t marry often slows down the process of meeting the one God has for you because you are constantly needing to heal from past relationships.
Through just being alone, God is often speeding up the process of you being ready for your spouse (Song of Solomon 8:4).
3. God Wants You Single Because Your Spouse Needs More Time to Get Ready for Marriage
Marriage takes two (Genesis 2:24). Everything that was just said also relates to your future spouse. Sometimes you are ready to meet your future spouse but they are not ready to meet you.
4. God Wants You Single to Help You or Your Future Spouse Repent of Any Sexual Sin
One common area that singles struggle with is sexual sin (1 Corinthians 7:2). Whether it be porn, masturbation, or premarital sex, these sins will negatively affect your future marriage if you don’t repent.
Through a season of singleness, God may be giving you time to repent and heal so you are ready for sex in marriage (Hebrews 13:4). His grace is sufficient (Romans 5:20).
5. God Wants You Single Because Other People Need You Right Now
According to 1 Corinthians 7:7, singleness and marriage are both gifts from God. And according to 1 Peter 4:10, God wants us to use the gifts he gives us to serve other people. Therefore, if you are single, one reason for that is because God wants you to focus your service on others right now.
6. God Wants You Single Because You Are Too Young or Spiritually Immature for Marriage, Thus He Doesn’t Want You to Date Either
It’s certainly not true that everyone who is single is immature and everyone who is married is more mature. Your youth or spiritual immature may not be the reason you are single. But for some, this is the reason.
It’s not a slight or an offensive statement to say that someone is too young or too spiritually immature for marriage. When this is true, it’s just the facts. Never ignore the facts because of pride.
If you are too young or spiritually immature for marriage, it’s usually unwise to date too. Dating leads to feelings and emotions that can only be safely expressed in marriage. To date when you’re not ready for marriage is like walking onto the battlefield even though you’re not trained for war (Proverbs 19:2).
7. God Wants You Single to Protect You from Dating the Wrong Person
As the old saying goes, for those who want to be married, the only thing worse than being alone is being with the wrong person.
While you may really want to be in a relationship, during singleness you can always rejoice that you are not in the wrong relationship (Isaiah 55:8-9)!
8. God Wants You Single to Increase Your Contentment in Christ and Decrease Your Unhealthy Dependence on Others
Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” If you don’t know how to be joyful in the Lord during singleness, you won’t know how to be joyful in the Lord during marriage. Life will not always be perfect. But God is always perfect. Thus, we can always rejoice in him and not our circumstances.
9. God Wants You Single to Help You Heal from Past Relationship Wounds
While it would be great if we all had a perfect relationship history and married the first person we dated or had feelings for, this rarely happens. God uses it all. While he would prefer we don’t get hurt in relationships, when we need training he often allows these things to occur so he can mature us and heal us (Psalm 147:3).
10. God Wants You Single Because He Wants You to Enjoy This Season Before You Will Be Married for the Rest of Your Life
Marriage is a great blessing (Proverbs 18:22), but all too often people miss out on the joy they could have had in singleness because they are so focused on getting married. When you are single, you don’t need to worry about another person (1 Corinthians 7:32-34).
When you get married, you can still travel, have great friendships with others, and do things you want; but it can be a whole different experience when your single. It’s not always better or worse. It’s just different. God doesn’t want you to miss the joy that comes with singleness too.
11. God Wants You Single So the Pain and Loneliness You Feel Now Will Increase the Joy You Have in Your Spouse Later
Food taste better and better the hungrier you are (Proverbs 27:7). One benefit of being single longer than you want is that you will enjoy your marriage even more.
12. God Wants You Single So You Know How to Deal with Unwanted Seasons of Life
The solution to unhappiness can’t be to always get what you want. Rather, there are times you have to learn to be happy even when you don’t get exactly what you want.
Even if you really want to be married, when you get married, there will still be other things you really want that you don’t have. By learning to be content in singleness while still being honest about wanting to be married, you are learning how to have a healthy balance in your heart about desires in general (Philippians 4:11-13).
13. God Wants You Single Because It’s Just Not the Right Time for a Relationship
The possibilities are endless for why it might not be the right time for marriage. But big picture, we have to trust that God always does the right thing at the right time. You can trust God to produce his will for you at the right time.
Psalm 31:15, “My times are in your hand . . . .”
14. God Wants You Single Because His Plan Is Always for Your Good and His Glory
Whatever God does or does not allow, when we submit to him and love Christ, we know he can turn everything for our good and his glory, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
