If you are a Christian woman, one of the ways God will show you who to marry is by leading your husband to identify himself to you.
How will he do this? Here are 3 biblical ways your future husband will identify himself to you.
1. Your Future Husband Will Identify Himself to You By Being What You Need, What You Want, and What You Did Not Expect
Godly relationships are a beautiful mix of desire and duty, of passion and patience, of giving and getting. When you meet the man God has for you, it will be a lot like real life and a lot different than a fairytale. Fantasies don’t include the Monday morning traffic, the weekly grocery shopping, or getting the flue.
So when you meet the man God has for you, it will always be a much different experience than what you fantasies about because this relationship will take place in the context of reality. Real life is much better because it combines hardships with blessings, which enrich the blessings in a much greater way than good given without any trials.
In other words, God will give you what you want if he calls you to marriage, but he will also give you what you need. This man will have characteristics that you enjoy and he will also have characteristics that challenge your weaknesses and exposes your unhealed wounds.
In all truth, sometimes we don’t even know what we want or what we need. But God does. This is why your future husband will never be exactly like you expect.
As Psalm 139:5-6 explains, “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.”
2. Your Future Husband Will Identify Himself Through Showing His Ability to Fulfill the Tasks of a Husband Before He Gets the Title of “Husband”
People tend to think about “titles” in two different ways. The first type of person will wait until they get the title before they start doing the tasks that are associated with that title. For example, a person may not serve until they join a ministry at church and get assigned a specific job title or a person may not lead those who want to follow until that person gets the title of “leader.”
The other type of person, however, understands that titles don’t empower you to do a task, rather they are used to identify people who are already doing that task. Titles are used to show everyone what this person has already been doing. For example, when a man has been loving, teaching, and shepherding other people, the church will often then give him the title of “pastor.” If he’s waiting to do these things until he gets the title, he’s showing himself unfit for the title.
Likewise, your future husband will identify himself by doing many of the tasks that will need to be done in a healthy marriage. If he’s working hard, growing in his career, learning how to serve, learning how to lead, and learning how to love a woman, these are good signs he is also getting ready to receive the title of “husband.”
However, if he’s waiting to show the maturity needed to operate in a Christian marriage until he gets married, this man is showing he’s not ready for marriage. While Ruth did invite Boaz to pursue her in Chapter 3, she saw how loving and kind Boaz was to her in Chapter 2. He provided for her material needs (Ruth 2:9) and her emotional needs (Ruth 2:13). He was able to give her what she needed and what she wanted. Thus, he showed he could do the tasks of a husband before Ruth expressed her desire to give him the title (Ruth 3:9).
3. Your Future Husband Will Identify Himself By Pursuing You and Responding Positively When You Invite Him to Pursue You
Dating is not in the Bible, but you can date in a biblical way by applying principles found in Scripture to this season of your life. Biblical dating is like dancing. Yes, the man leads, but the woman is an active participant in the process. If the man is leading in dancing but the woman is not participating and she’s being passive, the dance just won’t work.
Likewise, if the man is pursuing but you are not inviting, the dating-dance before marriage just won’t work for you. If the man is not pursuing or not responding well when you send him signs of your own interest in him, this is not the man God has for you.
When God is leading you to the man he wants you to marry, he will pursue you and he will respond well to your invitations (Ruth 3:10-13).