Is God calling you to a life of singleness or is he calling you to a life of marriage? Does he want you to pursue that woman? Does he want you to be inviting towards that man? Is he telling you to let someone go? Or does he want you to make room for someone?
Here are 3 painful ways God will confirm his relationship calling for you.
1. God Will Confirm Your Relationship Calling By Giving You a Holy Ache for that Which He’s Called You
There’s always pain that comes along with God’s calling. We don’t like to hear these things. When we think about our callings from God, we want comfort, peace, and success. God does bring these things, but the pain will be there too. Just look at Jeremiah.
In Jeremiah 20, Pashhur didn’t like what Jeremiah was prophesying, so he beat him and locked him in stocks to be publicly shamed. In Jeremiah 20:9, Jeremiah wrote of God, “If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,’ there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.”
God is confirming your calling when the pain makes you want to stop but then you realize it would be more painful to stop. There is no option to be pain free in God’s economy. His grace is free but there is always a cost to discipleship (Matthew 16:25). You will know your calling when it’s hurts more to not do it than to do it.
When we apply these general principles about calling to this idea of a relationship calling, we can say that God will give you a holy ache for that which he’s called you:
- Yes, it may hurt to say no to a relationship; but if he’s called you to singleness, it would hurt more to not pursue singleness.
- Yes, it may hurt to enter into a relationship and leave singleness; but if God has called you to marriage one day, it will hurt more not to pursue this union.
- Yes, being with an imperfect person will hurt; but if you really love someone and God is calling you to be with them, it will hurt more to let them go.
- Yes, it will hurt to let someone go; but if God is calling you to let them go, it will hurt more if you stay with them.
Jeremiah was called to prophesy, and this brought much pain into his life. But he also knew there would be more pain if he did not do what God called him to do. Likewise, you will know what God is leading you to do by looking at what would hurt the most.
2. God Will Confirm Your Relationship Calling By Giving You the Courage to Hope for Something that Might Not Happen
As Christians, we often fall for the lie that it is a lack of faith to admit something might not happen. To prepare your heart for the possibility of not receiving what you’re praying for seems like you are sabotaging the likelihood of receiving it. When the cancer diagnosis comes, we often avoid any prayers about preparing for the lack of a miracle. The only thing we allow ourselves to pray for is a miracle because we think this is the type of faith God requires for this type of miracle to occur. However, if the miracle doesn’t come, this then leads us to either believe God wasn’t able or that we did not do the right things to unlock his blessings.
The truth is, God’s sovereign will just doesn’t work like that. There are no formulas that will always unluck God’s yes. You can have the most faith and do everything the Bible says, but sometimes the miracle still doesn’t come. What then?
This reality requires a deeper look at the Scriptures. Does God’s no to our request really mean he’s not listening or that we did not do everything correct? Does the Bible actually promise us health, wealth, and prosperity when we follow Jesus in faith? The truth is, God’s plans for us all are varied. Usually there are some really amazing blessings in our life and some really huge disappointments. Through it all, God is leading us to follow him in faith.
Faith is not about believing so perfectly that God does everything you want as a reward for your faith. Rather, the deepest expression of faith is when you walk forward with the Lord in hope in sickness and in health, in poverty and riches, and in despair and prosperity. He’s not just the God of the mountain tops. He is God there. But he’s also the God in the valley, right there with us, comforting us through it all (Psalm 23).
When we apply these principles to your relationship calling, you will see him confirming your path forward not by promising you success but by giving you the faith to proceed forward no matter what does or doesn’t happen.
If you want to be married, you may something like, “I’m claiming my future marriage in faith. I believe it will happen!” But what if it doesn’t happen? Do you have the faith to still proceed forward? It’s okay to be sad about not getting what you want. But as Christians, we must always have the faith to please the Lord even when our hopes do not occur.
This takes courage. Some people here words like this and say, “Well, if there’s no guarantee that God will let me get married, I’m just going to assume I’ll never get married.” This is weak faith and it will hinder you from doing what the Lord wants you to do.
There are no formulas. You have to be willing to open your heart to something that may or may not happen. If you can’t do that, you will for sure miss God’s leading for you.
3. God Will Confirm Your Relationship Calling By Giving You the Power to Get Through the Painful Parts that Are Associated with the Path He Has for You
Perhaps the most surprising part about God’s calling is how hard it is. We were told that when we follow God’s will for our lives, it will go well for us. And it will. When you disobey God, there is a different type of pain that occurs that is far worse. It is a hopeless pain that produces nothing but death and regret.
And yet, when you follow God’s path for your life, the road is still marked with pain. This is true when it comes to our relationship callings as well. Perhaps you feel called to a life of singleness. Does that mean you will never feel alone because you are doing what you feel God said you should do? No, God might call you to singleness and there could be some sadness that results from this lifestyle. If God calls you to marriage, does that mean you and your spouse will always have a healthy relationship? No, in most marriages, even the best ones, there are seasons of life where things are not good. Sin is being rooted out. Tragedies occur. Wants go unmet.
However, when God leads you down a path, though he does not spare us of pain, he will always give us the power to get through these trials in a way that benefits us and glorifies him (2 Corinthians 12:8-10).
Thus, when you want confirmation about God’s relationship calling for you, don’t look for the painless road. Rather, look for the road God is empowering you to walk down even though there will be pain. When we trust and follow him, it doesn’t mean our lives are going to be easy. But it does mean our lives won’t be wasted.
Live for his glory no matter what. Then, one day, when the race is over, you will hear, “Well done good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).
