Why did God allow Satan to send that person into your life who you thought was “the one”?
Jill’s heart was throbbing. She had cried herself to sleep for the last three nights in a row. Things had been going so well with Kevin, but then all of a sudden, he broke up with her. Now she prayed, “God, why did you let me meet Kevin at all if you knew this relationship wasn’t going to last?”
Sometimes God lets Satan bring someone into your life. But why? Here are 3 answers, which will build to help us understand the main reason which I will reveal at the end.
1. God Allows Satan to Send You Fakes to Strengthen Your Discernment
When asking this question about why God allows Satan to send fakes, we have to start with the more general question, “Why does God allow Satan to do anything bad against Christians?”
Satan wants to do us harm because he hates God. But God uses Satan for his own purposes. For example, Satan wanted to kill Jesus because he hates him. God, however, let Satan influence people (John 13:26, Luke 22:53) because he planned for Jesus to die for our sins (Acts 2:23).
So what good could possibly come from God allowing Satan to send a counterfeit love into your life that you thought was the one for you?
Jill thought she had met “the one” when she first met Kevin. He quoted Scripture, went to church, and even led a Bible study. But over time, she noticed small red flags: he was jealous, dismissive of her dreams, and rushed commitment without prayer. After wrestling in prayer and seeking godly counsel, she decided to bring up these concerns. Kevin freaked out and broke up with her. It hurt, so she prayed, “Why did you even let me meet this man if you knew he would hurt me so bad?”
As Jill prayed, she realized how much more discernment she would have the next time she met a man. Never again would she let a man fool her like Kevin did.
Discernment is like a spiritual muscle. And like any muscle, it grows through use. Sometimes, the only way to learn how to recognize the counterfeit is by seeing it up close and learning to walk away.
Hebrews 5:14 states, “But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”
Satan wants to trick you. God wants to teach you. Follow the Lord and he will use evil for good in your life (Genesis 50:20).
2. God Allows Satan to Send You Fakes to Expose Hidden Idols and Misplaced Desires
But then Jill thought, “Yes, I can see how the Lord used this to give me discernment. But couldn’t he have taught me to have discernment in a less painful way? God is sovereign after all. Did he really have to put me through this by letting Satan send Kevin into my life?”
We don’t always know why God chooses one path for us rather than another. However, many times the reason things seem so clear now is because we have been sobered by the pain. In other words, many times God allows a painful path for us because we are idolizing pleasure so much that we could not learn this lesson in any other way.
As Jill prayed and reflected more, she began to see how unreachable she was at that time when she met Kevin. It wasn’t just that Kevin said and did all the right things. Rather, it was that Jill was in a place where she so desperately wanted to meet a man who would say and do all the right things. She was extremely lonely, desperate for a relationship. So when she met Kevin, she wasn’t just deceived. She was easily deceived because she wanted to see him as the answer to all her problems.
Sometimes God allows a counterfeit relationship to reveal areas where we’ve placed love, marriage, or romance above him. If a fake becomes a fixation, it may be because we’ve made “finding the one” our god. God doesn’t compete for first place in our hearts. He uses even painful experiences to reorder our loves and restore him as our first love.
Exodus 20:3, “You shall have no other gods before me.”
3. God Allows Satan to Send You Fakes to Help Create the Right Timing to Meet the Right Person
While Jill was learning a lot from the bad things that happened because of Kevin, she would also still get confused about why God let Satan do this to her. However, once a few more months of healing passed after Kevin was gone, Jill then met Rob. Suddenly, Jill understood God’s purpose for her painful trial with Kevin.
Jill imagined if she had met Rob before she had met Kevin. She realized, “Wow, I was a different person before everything happened with Kevin. I’ve changed a lot because of all that.” She realized the old her would not have appreciated the qualities Rob had. She would have missed out on him without the recent transformation God had helped her experience.
What makes it the “wrong time” even though you have met the “right person”?
Well, usually it’s only the wrong time when the people are not internally prepared to love each other properly. When two people are actually right for each other, the timing is always right too. In other words, you can only meet the right person at the wrong time when something is wrong in you or them that makes the relationship wrong. Otherwise, you two would make it through whatever challenge is happening.
In marriage, life doesn’t stop. Trials keep coming. That doesn’t mean your spouse is no longer the right person. Rather, when you have the character to love each other through the covenant bond of marriage, you two will always be right for each other.
1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
Conclusion:
So, why does God allow Satan to send fakes before God sends “the one” to you?
God is not the author of confusion—but he is the author of growth. If you’ve met fakes, counterfeits, or deceivers along your path, don’t despair. Ask yourself: “What is God teaching me through this? How is this strengthening me for what’s ahead?”
The enemy wants to distract you with imitations so you’ll settle. But God allows these experiences so you’ll be prepared, focused, and fully surrendered when his best for you finally arrives.
Keep your eyes on Jesus. Keep your heart guarded. And trust: the real thing is worth the wait.
Therefore, God allows Satan to send fakes as a way of preparing you for the one.
