Perhaps one of the most confusing parts of singleness for those who desire to be married one day is the waiting. Are you waiting too passively and missing God’s will or are you not waiting patiently enough?
My experience has been that most Christians truly want to honor God in singleness while also remaining open to marriage one day if that is God’s will. I think that is exactly where God wants most Christian singles to be; but when you are in the middle of it and living this out in your life, it can be really hard to know if you are doing the right things or not.
In my view, there is a big difference between using your season of waiting intentionally versus just wasting this season by being too passive. So here are 3 signs you are not wasting your season of waiting because you are living with intentionality.
1. You Are Not Wasting Your Season of Waiting if You Are Using It to Mature as a Follower of Christ
According to Bible passages like 1 Corinthians 7, the main blessing to singleness is that you have less distractions to pull you away from your relationship with Christ. Marriage is not a distraction from God, but it can be if we let it become one.
If you do not develop as a follower of Christ when you are single, it is very unlikely you will do so when you are married one day. We waste our season of waiting when we let our desire for marriage crowd out the time and attention we could be giving to God right now.
Spending time in God’s word, in prayer, and learning to be the best follower of Christ you can be is the most important use of our seasons of waiting for marriage. As Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12-15:
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. . . . Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress.”
2. You Are Not Wasting Your Season of Waiting if You Are Developing Your Relationship Skills Through Friendships and Serving in the Body of Christ
Marriage is one of the highest forms of a relationship one can have with another human. But there is always a process of progression with anything truly important in life, and the same is true when it comes to marriage. In other words, if you do not learn how to lovingly interact with people of the opposite sex in friendship and singleness, you will not have all the necessary skills you will need once God does bring a marriage into your life.
All Christians are called to serve in the body of Christ because without one another we are an incomplete body. So serving in the body of Christ is important for many reasons besides developing your relationship skills. Nonetheless, when you spend real time interacting with people from all different ages, ethnicities, and genders, God will teach you important lessons that you can never learn in isolation.
When you serve and love other people in friendship and in ministry, you are not wasting your season of waiting for marriage.
3. You Are Not Wasting Your Season of Waiting if You Are Actively Preparing Your Heart for Your Future Marriage
In point 2 I was referring to those relationship lessons you can’t learn in any other way than interacting with real people. Now I am referring to that inner heart preparation between you and God that is even more important than the practical side of things.
During your season of waiting before your future marriage, God wants you to dive deep into figuring out why certain sin habits are in your life, why you become fearful in certain situations, or what qualities you know you need to develop before you could become a godly husband or wife. During your season of waiting, God wants you to pray prayers like Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV) which states:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
When you use your season of waiting before marriage to prepare your heart for this future union, God will honor your efforts and use this season for your good.