One way God will reveal your future spouse to you is by showing you how this person affects your calling. Therefore, if you want to form a biblical union with someone, here are three ways your calling and your future spouse will align.
1. Your Future Spouse Will Help You Fulfill Your Calling By Helping You Be a Healthy Person in Other Areas of Your Life
Our calling is different than our identity and purpose. Our identity is who we are in Christ. Our purpose is the reason we exist, which is to glorify God. Our calling, however, is the unique tasks and assignments God gives us at different seasons in our lives.
Not only that, but we have many different callings at the same time. We can be called to work at a certain company, serve in a certain ministry, be in a certain family, have certain friends, and help certain people when specific needs arise.
Thus, we need not think of a spouse like a boss looking to fill a particular position in the company. Many times, we oversimplify ourselves, and we say something general like “I’m called to be a missionary,” or “I’m called to serve children,” or “I’m called to worship the Lord through music.” And then we imagine we need a spouse who also shares these specific gifts and desires that align with ours to fulfill these “callings.”
Life is way bigger than that, though. While you may have that specific calling, you also have many other callings, too, like being a child to your parents, a sibling, a friend, an employee, a church member, and so on.
Thus, when you get married, your spouse is not just a ministry partner. They are your partner in life – all of life! (1 Peter 3:7). There are so many different departments in life that your future spouse will help you with. But all the parts of our lives also affect each other.
So when we are unhealthy or imbalanced in one area of life, that can directly impact our ability to fulfill our callings. For example:
- When you’re lonely and lack companionship, it can be challenging to endure the trials and hardships of your calling. A spouse, however, can help you fulfill your calling more effectively if they are there to listen to your problems and support you when you have a hard day. Even if they don’t have the same calling, they help you by being your active companion in life. (Genesis 2:18)
- Another way a spouse helps you in your calling is by helping you remain balanced and in self-control regarding your sexuality when you have a strong sex drive, which can cause you to struggle in ways that would hurt your ability to serve in your calling. (1 Corinthians 7:1-5)
- When you have a spouse, you can create a family together. This is a calling in and of itself. It helps you realize there are other important things in life besides the tasks you are doing out in the world to serve others. By having a bigger world than just your tasks, it helps you stay healthy and grounded. (1 Timothy 3:5, Psalm 127:3-5)
All that to say, one way you will know God is revealing your future spouse to you is when you meet the person who doesn’t distract you from your calling, but rather they give your life balance and help you live in a healthy way, so you are actually even more equipped to serve.
2. Your Future Spouse Will Help You Fulfill Your Calling By Complimenting Your Gifts
It’s certainly possible that your future spouse may have a similar calling as you, and thus you two can complement each other by working side by side, like Pricilla and Aquila. It appears this was a couple who both had the gift of teaching and discipleship (Acts 18:26).
On the other hand, sometimes a Christian husband and wife have two very different callings when it comes to ministry, but they still form a great team because the gifts they do have help them form a more complete life together.
For example, I love to write and create content that helps people apply the Bible to their lives and relationships. My wife, however, doesn’t share that same passion directly. She loves to support me in my passions, but she doesn’t enjoy writing books or creating teaching videos. And yet, the passions she does have in serving people, being a mother, homeschooling our children, and all the other gifts she possesses help me fulfill the calling I have. And the gifts I have help her be able to fulfill the callings she has.
God made men and women different on purpose (Genesis 1:27). You don’t need to marry someone who has the exact same gifts and passions as you. God will reveal your future spouse to you when you meet the person who complements your gifts with the gifts they have (1 Peter 4:10).
3. Your Future Spouse Will Align with Your Calling Because This Person Will Adapt as Your Callings Change
Our purpose is always to glorify God. But our callings can change throughout our lives. A calling, as I use the term, is a task God wants you to fulfill. Usually, this changes throughout the different seasons of life. For example, sometimes God wants a man to be a pastor, and then a businessman, and then a retired man who volunteers in his local church. People rarely have the same calling throughout their lives.
And yet, a spouse is supposed to be your partner for life (Matthew 19:6). This, again, is why we must not think of finding a spouse like hiring someone for a position at a company. Unlike a specific role at a company, a relationship is always changing. And when God reveals the right person to you, that person will change with you in healthy ways. As life takes all its twists and turns, you two will be able to support each other and help one another serve Jesus through it all.
As Hebrews 10:24 states, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works . . .”
