According to Scripture, marriage and singleness are both good gifts from God (1 Corinthians 7:7). And yet, just because something is a good gift from God, we can still pursue this gift for bad reasons.
In most cases, men don’t pursue singleness for good, biblical reasons. I’ve talked about that in other articles, such as 7 Reasons Most Men Should Not Pursue Singleness. However, today, I want to look at the Scriptures to discover 4 good reasons why some men should stay single.
1. A Man Should Stay Single When He’s Not Ready to Be a Husband Yet
This doesn’t have to be an either-or decision like many men think it is. A lot of guys put a lot of pressure on themselves because they have competing desires and they feel like they need to solve this issue right now. On one hand, they would really love to marry a godly woman and have a family. On the other hand, they also really enjoy their singleness and don’t feel ready for marriage. Some wonder whether they will ever feel ready, and thus struggle to know whether they are called to a life of singleness forever.
But the truth is, God rarely reveals the distant future to us about anything pertaining to our personal lives. God probably hasn’t revealed where you will be working in twenty years. You may be at your current place of employment. Or you may get fired, the company may fold, or perhaps you will start your own business one day. You don’t need to know the distant future. If you know you should work there now, that’s enough.
Likewise, we should not expect God to reveal the distant future when it comes to relationships either. The real key is to examine yourself right now (Ephesians 5:15-17). If you don’t feel ready to be a biblical husband right now (Ephesians 5:22-33), then that is a great sign God wants you single right now. That doesn’t mean you are necessarily called to a life of singleness.
2. A Man Should Stay Single When He’s Not Met a Woman He Would Be Interested in Marrying
Another reason a lot of guys struggle to know if they really want to get married one day or stay single is simply because they have not met the right woman yet. If God has called you to marriage, sometimes you won’t really want to be married until your desires are sparked by a specific woman.
Many guys look at the sea of godless women and say to themselves, “I would never want to get married in these trying times.” This is faulty thinking. A man never marries “women.” Rather, a godly man is looking for one godly woman. If you never meet the right godly woman that you would want to marry, that simply means God wants you to be single (1 Corinthians 7:36-38).
Never force yourself to love a woman you don’t actually love. Don’t let external pressure or an internal deadline push you into a relationship you are not happy to be in. It’s better to be single than to be with a woman you don’t really want to be with.
3. A Man Should Stay Single When He Would Be Happier Without a Spouse
Some men are wired for singleness, and that is good. It’s not wrong to not want a wife. It could be wrong if your motives are rooted in hatred, disdain, or resentment due to women rejecting you. However, there is a clear biblical argument that many guys will be happier without a wife. For example, in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 explains:
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”
When you read all of 1 Corinthians 7, you will see counterarguments from Paul to why some people would be better off with a spouse. The above passage is not a one-size-fits-all assessment. In context, Paul states that married people should have an undivided devotion to the Lord just like single people.
His main argument throughout 1 Corinthians 7 is that each person should choose singleness or marriage based upon which one would help them live a happy life in service to God.
4. A Man Should Stay Single When He Can Serve the Lord Better Without a Spouse
While happiness is definitely a guiding variable throughout 1 Corinthians 7 for Paul’s guidance on choosing singleness or marriage (1 Corinthians 7:40), behind this happiness is really the idea of serving God with all your heart.
Paul is saying that the truest joy you can ever experience in life really stems from loving God and people with all your heart. God’s commands are for our good. And the first and second greatest commandments in all of Scripture are to love God and people (Matthew 22:37-40).
Thus, a man should stay single when he can serve the Lord more joyfully in singleness. If a wife would help him serve the Lord, he should pursue marriage.
Here’s a related article called 7 Reasons Most Men Should Not Pursue Singleness.
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