4 Biblical Reasons Running from a Relationship Can Ruin Your Life

Singleness can be a blessing from God for those who have been equipped with this gift (1 Corinthians 7:7). However, for most Christians, they are designed to function best with a spouse.

Therefore, if you are intentionally avoiding relationships because of past hurts, fears, or a lack of understanding of the goodness of marriage, then you could be making a huge mistake.

Here are four biblical reasons running from a relationship can ruin your life.

1. By Running from a Relationship, You Are Letting Fear Control Your Life

2 Timothy 1:7, “. . . for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

I’m not saying everyone who wants to be single does so simply because they are fearful. If you are happy to be single and you simply don’t have a desire for marriage, that is good and biblical. It means you are called by God to be single.

However, the reason most people want to be single is because they are afraid of getting hurt in a relationship. They are afraid of their painful past repeating itself. They are afraid of the unknown in the future. They are fearful of rejection, betrayal, and marrying someone with whom they would be miserable.

Scripture is clear: fear is poison. Fear is the opposite of faith. Thus, if you are trying to overcome your fears about relationships by avoiding them, you are letting fear control you, which can ultimately ruin your life.

Turn to Jesus. 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

Bad things can happen in relationships, but you don’t need to fear those things. In Christ, you have all that you need. Most people fear relationships because they are elevating relationships too high. They are giving relationships too much power in their lives. They can’t imagine getting hurt in a relationship and still being okay. But when you are in Christ, there’s nothing to fear.

Psalm 34:8, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”

2. By Running from a Relationship, You Are Blocking Yourself from the Partner You Were Made to Need

Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”

The single life is often a simpler life. But if you were designed to have a partner, a simpler life is not the same thing as a better life. Only God can fill your heart with the love you crave.

To be filled with God’s love, we must also obey God’s leading. If God has called you to join with a partner in marriage, you are not only running from your partner when you reject relationships, you are also running from God’s leading in your life.

1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) says to husbands regarding their wives, “. . . she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.” Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” A godly spouse is not only a companion, but also your fellow warrior in ministry. By rejecting relationships, you are rejecting your partner, who is meant to help you advance God’s kingdom, making you less effective for Christ.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT), “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

3. By Running from a Relationship, You Are Robbing Yourself of Joyful Sacrifice

1 Corinthians 13:1-3, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

You don’t have to get married to live a life of sacrificial love. But if you are called to get married and you are running from this call, you are also blocking yourself from the blessing that comes from true love. True love is not just about the good we get, but the good we give. The deepest joys in life come when you give yourself for the benefit of another. A healthy marriage gives you the opportunity to do this for each other over and over again.

In regard to the gifts of singleness and marriage, 1 Corinthians 7:7 states, “But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” 1 Peter 4:10 (NLT) states, “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” When you don’t use your gift of marriage to serve your future spouse because you are running from relationships, you rob yourself of the joy that could be yours, for “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).

4. By Running from a Relationship, You Are Robbing Yourself of the Joy of Children

Psalm 127:3-5 (NLT), “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.”

When a husband and wife love each other, God uses that love to bring forth new life. Children are an immense responsibility. And yet, to avoid responsibility is to avoid living a useful life. In raising children and taking responsibility for the benefit of others, you will unlock more joy than you could ever have imagined.

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