4 Biblical Red Flags that Mean a Man Would Be a Bad Husband If You Married Him

If you are a Christian single woman who wants to be married to a godly husband one day, here are 4 red flags you need to watch out for.

1. If a Man Is Not Managing His Own Life Well Before Marriage, Usually This Means He Will Be a Terrible Husband

According to the Bible, a good husband will love his wife and kids through providing, protecting, prioritizing, and performing the priestly duties in the household (Ephesians 5:21-33, Colossians 3:18-21, 1 Peter 3:7). In a word, he is “leading” them.

Biblical leadership is not about telling people what to do and commanding others to serve you. Rather, biblical leadership is where you are sacrificially loving others (Mark 10:42-45). You are trying to help those who have been placed under your authority so that they thrive and can blossom.

How can a man manage and lead a family if he can’t even lead and manage himself? If he needs you to help him get his life together, just be careful this doesn’t turn into an unbiblical dependency. A woman can help motivate a man and encourage him. But if she needs to literally manage his life because he can’t do it himself, he is not ready to be a good husband.

As Jesus said in Luke 16:10, “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.”

2. If a Man Has a Subtle Addiction or Unhealthy Habit Before Marriage, Usually This Means It Will Manifest Into a Darker Issue Later on in Marriage

So he likes to get a little tipsy on the weekends . . . what’s the big deal? Sure, he may have a slight video game addiction . . . but don’t all young men these days? Yeah, he does follow some inappropriate accounts on social media . . . but isn’t it true that most guys have a little lust in their life?

No one is perfect. I’m not telling you to look for a guy who doesn’t have any sin in his life. However, the Bible is clear that true Christians are actively repenting of sin. If someone knows they have sin in their life and they don’t care and they are not committed to repenting of it, this is actually a sign they are not saved at all (1 John 1:5-10).

Maybe they are in the process of being convicted of a sin, moving toward repentance and walking further down the road of sanctification. But again, if there is no sanctification in their life, this is evidence that there is also know justification in their life (Hebrews 10:14). In other words, a true believer will be turning from darkness and an unbeliever will be turning towards the darkness (Ephesians 2:1-10).

Thus, if a man loves a certain sin before marriage, it is very likely that sin will consume him as time goes on (Romans 6:19), causing him to be a terrible husband for you later in life.

3. If the Man Is Harsh with You When He’s Unhappy Before Marriage, This Harshness Will Usually Intensify in Abusive Ways in Marriage

Many men struggle with speaking harshly when they are upset, which is why the Bible specifically warns them about this, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).

If a man gets mean when he doesn’t get his way, tempting you to acquiesce to calm him down and make peace, this is a ticking-time-bomb type of situation. Eventually you will get tired of this. When you finally express yourself more openly, he will become even harsher.

The stress of life together, the years of growing more comfortable, and your growing lack of patience of always needing to give in will often lead him to get worse over time. Thus, when a man is verbally harsh before marriage when he gets upset, this is often a red flag that he will eventually become verbally abusive if you do marry him one day.

4. If He Does Not Have a Strong Personal Relationship with God Through Jesus Christ, He Cannot Be a Good Husband

There are better and worse unbelieving husbands in the world. Just because someone is a non-Christian doesn’t mean they can’t do anything good. A non-Christian husband can still love his family, provide, and protect them in practical ways (Matthew 7:11).

However, biblically speaking, the man’s most important job in the family unit is to help his wife and children have a rich relationship with our Heavenly Father. If a man is not following Jesus, he cannot lead his family into biblical truth as God wants him to do (Mark 8:36).

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