4 Conflicts that Always Occur When You Meet the Right Woman

When you think about the woman of your dreams, you probably don’t imagine conflict.

And yet, if you’re called to marriage, while God will give you a woman who deeply fulfills your desire for a wife, he will not give you a woman with whom you never have any problems.

In fact, some conflicts are actually good signs. Here are 4 types of conflicts you should expect when you finally meet the woman God wants you to marry.

1. When You Meet the Woman God Wants You to Marry, You Will Experience the Effects of the Fall

In Genesis 2, we see a beautiful picture of a peaceful, complementary relationship between Adam and Eve. But after sin entered the world, everything changed.

To the woman, God said in Genesis 3:16, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

This was not God prescribing how relationships should function, but describing what would now naturally happen because of sin. Now, because of our sinful nature, there will always be tension between men and women in relationships. Without exception.

Sometimes this shows up as a man being passive and the woman becoming controlling. Other times, the man becomes harsh or domineering, and the woman feels devalued. And often, both dynamics can appear at different times in the relationship.

So when you meet the woman God has for you, you will not avoid this reality—you will be forced to face it.

Now, to be clear, if it feels like there is always constant tension and you two can never just enjoy the relationship, that’s a bad sign. You should be able to have good times too. And yet, if there is never any conflict in this area, that’s actually a bad sign.

Why? Because it usually means one or both of you are hiding your true selves. The only way for two humans to never have any problems is for one or both of them to be faking it. Real relationships require honesty. And once honesty is present, eventually, conflict will surface. Because of sin, the conflict is often handled incorrectly.

Again, keep my words in context. I’m not saying you should expect your future wife to always nag you and for you two to always fight. Don’t marry a woman like that. However, the goal is not to avoid all conflict since that would require a façade. Rather, the goal is to handle conflict biblically—through repentance, humility, and dependence on God’s grace.

Through the gospel, you as a man are empowered to love sacrificially, and she is empowered to respond with respect and trust, rather than there being a constant power struggle (1 Peter 3:7).

When you meet the right woman, you won’t avoid this conflict—you will work through it together in a way that leads to healing and growth.

2. When You Meet the Right Woman, You Should Experience Conflicts That Highlight Masculine and Feminine Differences

Our culture often downplays or denies it, but Scripture is clear: men and women are different (Genesis 1:27).

And those differences don’t just exist in a vacuum. They create friction. Of course, not every woman is the same. But generally speaking, if you were to find the right woman and get married:

• You may not naturally communicate as much as she desires
• You may have a stronger or more frequent desire for sex than she does
• She may care more about the details of the home
• You may be more focused on external goals like work

These differences will create real conflict. But that’s not a bad thing—it’s actually a good sign you two are both embracing your gender differences.

Before marriage, you need to see how both of you handle these differences, because in marriage, they will come up a lot. Do you both dig your heels in and demand your way? Or do you learn to listen, adjust, and sacrificially love?

A godly relationship is not about finding someone who wants all the same things you want. It’s about learning how to love someone who is different from you. When you meet the right woman, these differences won’t disappear—but your willingness to navigate them together will grow.

3. When You Meet the Right Woman, You Will Experience Sexual Tension That Must Be Handled Biblically

While you should not be engaging in sexual activity before marriage, you should feel real sexual desire for the woman you plan to marry.

Sex in marriage is not optional—it’s a good and commanded gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). So it matters that you choose a woman you are genuinely attracted to.

Obviously, this creates a real conflict during dating: You desire her, but you must exercise self-control. And if she is the right woman, that tension will often increase the closer you get to marriage.

This is one of the reasons relationships should not be dragged out unnecessarily. The longer a couple delays marriage without a good reason, the more they expose themselves to temptation.

So yes, this conflict is difficult—but it’s also a sign of a healthy attraction that, when handled correctly, points toward marriage being God’s will for you both (1 Corinthians 7:36, Proverbs 5:18-19).

4. When You Meet the Right Woman, You Will Experience Spiritual Warfare

Scripture makes it clear: when you are pursuing what pleases God, opposition will come (2 Timothy 3:12). And that includes relationships.

However, you need to be balanced here. Not every difficult relationship is from God, and not every problem is from Satan. A relationship should not be defined by constant chaos and dysfunction.

But at the same time, you should expect some level of spiritual resistance when you are moving in the right direction (Ephesians 6:12). Satan hates it when we honor the Lord; thus, we should expect a God-honoring relationship to be spiritually opposed by the devil.

The key is discernment. If the relationship is producing godliness, drawing you closer to Christ, and helping you grow—even through challenges—that’s a very different situation than a relationship filled with sin and disorder.

Here’s a related article called Women Sent By Satan Use These 5 Phrases on Men.