4 Reasons a Christian Man Is Not Pursuing You Even Though He Likes You

Do you feel like a guy friend that you have a great connection with actually likes you but for some reason he won’t make a move? Has a guy been texting you for months but won’t pull the trigger to ask you on a date? Do you and a guy at church have an awkward chemistry because it feels like you both like each other but he’s not doing anything about it?

Here are 4 common reasons a Christian man is not pursuing the woman that he likes.

1. He May Not Be Pursuing You Because He’s Getting His Heart Ready to Be in a Christian Relationship

Ironically, some guys are more prone to pursue a woman they know they won’t marry; but then they delay pursuing the woman they could see themselves marrying. Why is that? They do this because they are afraid of messing up the relationship they really want.

Now, to be clear, if a guy is pursuing other women and not taking relationships very seriously, that is a sign he’s in no place for you anyways. However, if you and him do seem to have a great connection, he could be delaying his pursuit not because he doesn’t like you but rather because he likes you so much.

So if he is a new Christian, if he’s recently gotten out of a bad relationship, or if he drops little lines about how he’s trying to mature in the Lord, these could be signs he does like you but he still needs to get his heart ready before pursuing you. From the heart flows our actions (Proverbs 4:23), so a Christian man will know his heart needs to be right if he wants to have a righteous relationship with you.

In my opinion, it’s okay to wait a few months for him to pursue if you feel led to do so. Just be careful you don’t get stuck waiting for a guy who doesn’t like you enough to ever pursue you. Eventually, if he likes you, he will get himself ready and actually do it.

2. He May Not Be Pursuing You Because You’ve Sent Him a Signal that You’re Not Ready for a Christian Relationship

Sometimes a woman is scared to get hurt in another relationship while also having a strong desire for a certain man to pursue. She may even express some fears she has in hopes that this man will reassure her and comfort her.

However, it’s very possible that if a woman confides in a man that she likes about her fears of getting hurt in a relationship, he may interpret that to mean she is not ready for a relationship right now.

If you’re not ready for a relationship, this is good to express so this man knows where you stand (Ephesians 4:15). But if you are ready for a relationship, you will want to make sure you project this readiness so that this man feels released to pursue you.

3. He May Not Be Pursuing You Even Though He Likes You Because He Needs to Get to Know You More Since He Will Only Pursue When He’s Very Serious About Committing to a Woman

Maybe you’re not used to a Christian man who is taking you seriously. Perhaps he does like you and could see himself with you, but he’s also not pursuing you yet because he’s trying to be wise. Wisdom will sometimes lead us to do things we don’t feel like doing. He may want to pursue you right now, but in wisdom he may want to give you both time to get know each other more to make sure it is the right thing to do.

So instead of seeing this as a sign that he doesn’t like you enough to pursue you, it’s certainly possible this man is just taking his relationship opportunity with you very seriously because he likes you so much. Perhaps he is already thinking about marriage and wants to build a good foundation to build on with you.

In any case, patience is always needed when you want true love with someone (1 Corinthians 13:4)

4. He May Not Be Pursuing You Because He Did Pursue You But You Unknowingly Already Rejected Him

One problem that often occurs is that a man pursues in a way that the woman did not interpret as pursuit. Maybe he was texting you a lot one week but then he stopped. You were texting him back, but you were not texting back very quickly, responding within 24 hours. He could have interpreted your sluggish response as annoyance and now he feels like you’re not interested.

Or maybe he invited you to spend time with him but you had conflict in your schedule. He may have viewed that as you rejecting him even though to you it was actually just a scheduling issue.

If you feel as though you both like each other, try to think back if there was anything you did that could have been interpreted as a rejection. When in doubt, it can’t hurt to be a little more inviting as a woman to make sure this man knows he actually has a chance with you.

For biblical ways to be inviting towards a man, here’s a related article: 5 Ways to Be Inviting Towards a Man.