4 Reasons God Is Not Removing Your Thoughts About a Man

Do think about that man because God wants you with him one day? Or are you thinking about him so much because you are choosing to not let him go even though God wants you to move on? Is it all so stressful that you wish God would just remove your thoughts about this man?

We can never blame God for the thoughts we have. However, without God, we can never do anything good (John 15:5), including when it comes to our thought life. And in order to receive the power God wants you to have, which applies to our thoughts as well, we must follow his wisdom (James 1:25).

So whether God wants you with this man or not, you need the Lord to help you think biblically and accurately about this relationship situation. If you are thinking a lot about a man, here are 4 possible reasons God is allowing this.

1. This Man Is Still in Your Mind Because He’s Still in Your Life

Throughout Scripture, there is a direct link between our eyes and our thoughts. For example, in Matthew 5:28-29 Jesus said,

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.”

While you may not be lusting after this man you keep thinking about, the principle in this passage may be exactly what you need to hear. Perhaps God is not removing your thoughts about this man because you have not yet removed this man from your eyes. In other words, if you keep seeing him and spending time around him, you are fueling the imaginative fires you wish would stop.

In Matthew 6:22-23, Jesus also said, “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.” When we apply this principle to our topic at hand, it means that when you see this man, it will fill you with thoughts about him.

2. You Keep Thinking About This Man Because You’ve Become Addicted to the Anticipation of His Possible Pursuit

We all know relationships can make us feel good. However, sometimes we are not aware of how powerful the anticipation of a relationship is.

For example, one of the main elements that causes a gambling addiction is the anticipation and expectancy of rewards being randomly fulfilled. When you roll the dice, when you flip the cards, when you pull the lever, you have no idea what will happen. You could be a loser or you could be a winner. When you get a sudden rush of excitement that was heightened by the surprise, it forms a stronger addiction.

This same idea can occur when you have a crush on a man. Will be he there? Will he talk to you? Is there a message on your phone from him? All of these unknowns and sudden surprises of joy when he does show up or talk to you or message you can be addicting.

In Matthew 6:21, Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” We can also use this principle to say, “Where your heart is, that is what you treasure.” Thus, you may be thinking so much about this man because you are going to him for the joy you crave.

The solution here is to return fully to Jesus for all the joy your heart needs (Philippians 4:4). Only when we are full of the love of Christ can we handle other blessings in a balanced way.

3. You May Be Thinking of Him Still Because You Created Some Sort of Hidden Bond with Him

Did you go through a traumatic experience in your life with this man? Perhaps you have created a trauma bond with him. Did you engage in drug use, drunkenness, or sex with this man? Perhaps you created a chemical bond with him. Did you not guard your heart properly? Perhaps you have created an emotional “soul tie” with him.

Sometimes you can even create a good bond with a man that was healthy, but then that bond needed to end, so you are now struggling to let it go.

Either way, pray about the possibility of there being some bond still lingering between you two. Jesus can always set you free (Galatians 5:1, Colossians 1:13, Luke 4:18)

4. God May Not Be Removing Your Thoughts About This Man Because There Is Something Unfinished Between You Two

Did you two break up even though God wanted you to work it out together? Perhaps he is calling you two to forgive each other and get back together. In most cases that is not the issue, but for some people it could be.

Are you both Christians but did you wrong each other? Perhaps God is calling you both to confess your sins and apologize, not so you can get back together but so you both can find clarity and move on in a healthy way.

The possibilities are endless. The point is, if there is something unfinished between you both, the Lord may be allowing you to think about this person so you can take the necessary actions steps he is leading you to take (James 4:17).

Here’s a playlist of videos I’ve created called Is God Telling You to Wait for that Person or Is He Telling You to Move On?