Is a guy giving you a lot of attention, but deep down, you also fear God is trying to warn you about him? Or maybe you really like a guy, and it seems like this guy might like you too, but to be honest, you’re unsure if you are just getting played or if this man is genuinely interested?
Here are four signs that mean God is telling you not to date a man.
1. If a Man Has Been Emotionally Orbiting You Without Committing, God Is Probably Telling You to Not Date Him
Emotional orbiting happens when a man stays close enough to enjoy your attention but far enough away to avoid responsibility. He texts, checks in, flirts, and leans on you emotionally—but he never clearly moves forward. This can feel confusing because he’s present, yet never decisive.
Biblically, this lack of clarity is a warning sign. God values honesty, direction, and intentionality.
James 1:8 says, “He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” When you feel unstable after talking with a man, it’s probably because he is double-minded about you. A man who wants the benefits of emotional closeness without commitment is too immature for a godly woman. He’s torn between desire and self-protection. He’s being selfish, taking but not giving.
Emotional orbiting is like a plane circling the runway but never landing. You keep waiting, burning emotional fuel, while he avoids the risk of actually touching down. God doesn’t guide his people through endless circles. A man who was actually following God would either pursue you or let you go. He wouldn’t be using you emotionally like this man is.
Scripture reminds us that love doesn’t hide in ambiguity. 1 Corinthians 14:33 says, “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” If a relationship dynamic is consistently confusing, draining, or anxiety-producing, that confusion is not coming from God.
2. If a Man Only Shows You Attention When No One Else Knows About It, God Is Telling You Not to Date Him
When a man’s interest only exists in private—late-night texts, secret conversations, hidden meetups—but disappears in public, that’s not romance; that’s concealment. A godly relationship does not need to hide to survive.
Jesus consistently taught that what is good can stand in the light. John 3:20-21 says, “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”
While not every private interaction is sinful, a pattern of secrecy reveals fear, shame, or selfish motives. Think of it like a plant kept in a dark closet. No matter how much water you give it, it will never fully grow. Healthy relationships need sunlight—community, accountability, and openness—to flourish.
The Bible speaks about how true love is never hidden. Proverbs 27:5, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” In other words, it’s even better to be confronted negatively by someone who loves you rather than starved of love by someone you wish would love you. If a man avoids letting others know about you, God is trying to tell you that this man doesn’t really value you as you deserve to be valued.
3. If a Man Is Overly Interested in Your Body or Tempting You Into Sexual Sin, God Is Telling You Not to Date Him
Attraction is normal. Desire is not sinful. But when a man consistently steers conversations, attention, or situations toward sexual temptation, that is a serious spiritual warning. A man who leads you toward sin is not prepared to lead you toward marriage.
1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.” God’s will for your love life will never contradict his will for your holiness. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
A man who prioritizes your body over your soul may desire you, but this is a fleshly desire that will eventually bring a lot of pain into your life. While it might feel good in the moment to be desired by a man, even if you know his desire is fleshly, just know that God is not trying to deprive you of love; he is trying to protect you from a relationship with someone who just wants to use you rather than build a life with you for the long haul.
4. If a Man Seems to Have Biblical Potential But Lacks Biblical Fruit Right Now, God Is Definitely Telling You Not to Date Him
Potential is one of the most dangerous things to fall in love with. A man may say the right things, quote Scripture, or talk about who he wants to become—but God calls us to discern based on fruit, not potential that could manifest in the future. Remember, potential might also never manifest. A man who is not walking with God also has the potential to become even more evil than he currently is.
Jesus said it plainly in Matthew 7:16, “You will recognize them by their fruits.” Not by their intentions. Not by their future plans. By what is evident now.
Dating a man for his potential is like relying on a fruit tree for food that has never borne any fruit yet. You need food now. Who knows, that tree may never bear any fruit. Likewise, never put your hope in what a man might be. Instead, only open your heart to a man who already is what you need him to be.
When God tells you not to date a man, it’s not because he wants you alone forever. It’s because he sees the whole picture—what this relationship would cost you emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Obedience here is not loss; it’s protection.
Psalm 84:11 reminds us, “No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” If you listen early, you can avoid heartbreak later.
Related Article: 4 Biblical Marks of a Man Sent By Satan to Ruin a Woman’s Life
