4 Signs You’re Theologically Compatible Enough to Be Together

2 Corinthians 6:14

To be equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14), you don’t have to agree on everything. However, you do have to agree on some very core theological issues. While this is not an exhaustive list, here are 4 theological issues you should agree on with someone before choosing to date them.

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1. Before You Date Someone, You Must Agree About The Trinity

Perhaps the fastest way to know if someone is part of a cult claiming to be Christian is to figure out what they believe about the Trinity. Cults like Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons, and Unitarians don’t believe in the Trinity.  While someone from these cults may think they are a Christian, and they may be willing to date you even though you do believe in the Trinity, if you were to date someone like this, you would be unequally yoked.

There are many Bible verses stating that Jesus is God, which is usually the point that false religions deny. For example, in John 10:30-33, Jesus said:

‘I and the Father are one.’ The Jews picked up stones again to stone him. Jesus answered them, ‘I have shown you many good works from the Father; for which of them are you going to stone me?’ The Jews answered him, ‘It is not for a good work that we are going to stone you but for blasphemy, because you, being a man, make yourself God.’”

Jesus was not claiming to just be a moral teacher, and the people of his time understood that. If someone admires Jesus but denies the theological truths of the Trinity, you should not date them.

2. Before You Date Someone, You Must Agree About How to Be Saved

Sometimes two people think they agree on what it means to be a Christian but they actually don’t. For example, two people can both believe in the Trinity and know that Jesus alone is the Savior; however, our beliefs about how we access his grace can be different.

In other words, some people believe you just need to pray a prayer and accept Jesus into your heart. However, this is an Americanized version of Christianity. Praying a prayer isn’t wrong, but if it is not accompanied by a repentance of sin, you’re not saved (Acts 2:37-38).

Other people believe you need to obey his commands to be saved. Scripture, however, states that we are saved by grace alone and through faith in Jesus alone, not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9).

So be saved, we must rely on God’s grace alone for salvation, accessing it through faith, and then when we are truly saved, this will result in real repentance and ongoing sanctification (Romans 6:19).

3. Before You Date Someone, You Must Agree on the Authority of Scripture

Without a greater authority in our lives than our own moral compass, we will always be disagreeing with each other and living selfishly. Scripture unites Christians because we all are called to submit to it, not to each other’s opinions or personal beliefs.

Therefore, to have a healthy Christian relationship with someone, you must make sure you both agree on the inerrancy of Scripture and its divine authority on truth. It’s popular nowadays for people to admire the moral teachings of the Bible or to say it contains some form of truth, but to also then claim the Scriptures have been corrupted due to human error.

Even if someone claims to believe in Jesus and has many other Christian beliefs, you will not be compatible with them if you believe the Scriptures are truly perfect but they do not. 2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.”

4. Before You Date Someone, You Must Agree about Male and Female Roles in the Family and Church

Within Christianity, there are two groups of people who both believe in Jesus and are both trying to submit to the Scriptures, and yet they are coming to two very different conclusions about what God wants for the roles of men and women in the Church.

While we do not need to make this topic an issue of salvation, it is very important when it comes to choosing a partner. If you believe the man should lead his family (Ephesians 5:23) and that pastors should be males (1 Timothy 3:1-7) since the church is a collection of families and forms a family itself (1 Timothy 3:15), then you will clash with someone who believes wives and husbands are the same and thus it’s okay for a woman to be a pastor.

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