5 Biblical Ways to Make a Woman Feel Cherished

A woman wants to feel cherished by a man. But how can you make her feel that way?

Here are 5 biblical things you can do that will make a woman feel valued by you.

1. Prioritize Her

Before a Christian man and woman are married, they should be assessing each other’s ability to fulfill the biblical roles of a husband and wife. A husband is called to pursue, protect, provide, and perform the priestly duties in the household. When a husband does what the Scriptures say a husband should do, a wife will feel cherished (Ephesians 5:29).

But how can you show a woman you will be able to do those things before you marry her? It’s not right to treat a woman just as you would your future wife. You shouldn’t be helping her pay her bills and leading her spiritually as a husband should.

One way you can show her that you will be a good husband is by prioritizing her. When you say no to your friends sometimes so you can spend more time with her, when you go out of your way to call her before the night is over because you haven’t seen her all day, when you buy her something randomly just because you thought of her when you saw it, this prioritization of her shows her you have the qualities to thrive as a good husband one day.

2. Compliment Her Non-Physical Attributes

Many guys think they are making a woman feel cherished when in fact they are actually making her feel objectified. Even if you really do find her beautiful, it’s not a great move to just say, “You’re beautiful.” Why? Because a woman knows her physical appearance is largely out of her control and it will eventually fade one day.

As Proverbs 31:30-31 states, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.” Notice the emphasis here is on praising her for what she has done and not on how she looks.

When a woman knows you value her for the right reasons (Proverbs 31:10), she will feel cherished by you.

3. Compliment Her Appearance Choices

While you don’t want to focus too much on a woman’s appearance (1 Peter 3:3-4), it is a mistake to never compliment her physical appearance. You certainly don’t want to sexualize your compliments and make her feel like a piece of meat. But it’s also true that every woman wants her husband to be physically attracted to her. Thus, as she considers you as her possible future husband, she does want to feel like you are attracted to her physically.

However, the real key here to make her feel cherished by you is to focus your compliments on her choices rather than on her natural physical features that she was simply born with. Even if she is really attractive to you or has a physical attribute you do find particularly stunning, don’t verbalize that too much. It’s not wrong to say you really like the color of her hair or that you think her eyes are very pretty or that you can tell she takes care of her body. You just don’t want to verbalize that kind of thing too much. Don’t make that type of thing your daily compliment. It doesn’t make her feel as valuable when you compliment something that is out of her control compared to when you compliment a choice she has made about her appearance.

So if you compliment her clothing choices, the way she does her hair, the way she did her nails, or anything else about her appearance that was done through her choice, that will mean more to her. The way a woman chooses to present herself outwardly says something about her. It’s a way for her to express herself. When you compliment that expression of herself, she will feel as though you really cherish her.

4. Listen, Empathize, and Ask Questions that Help Her Find Solutions Rather than Just Offering Your Solution

As men, we tend to be more solution focused. However, many times a woman will talk about a problem she is having simply so you know how she feels. She wants to feel understood. She doesn’t want you to view her as a problem to be solved. She wants you to view her as a woman to be known.

Thus, only offer direct solutions when you are absolutely sure that is what she is asking for. For the vast majority of the time, you simply want to listen and try to empathize with her so she feels like you understand (James 1:19). When you do want to help her, do so by asking her leading questions that can help her see the solution for herself rather than just telling her what to do. So if her boss is being unreasonable, don’t say, “You should go to HR.” Rather, you could say, “Is there anyone you can talk to about this at work?”

When you take this gentle approach with her when she is sharing her feelings about something difficult, she will feel a lot more cherished than if you just blurt out a quick solution. Additionally, people are more likely to listen to your solutions once you have taken the time to really understand their problem (Proverbs 18:13). As the old saying goes, “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

5. Allow Her to Help You

Perhaps the best way to make a woman feel cherished is by allowing her to bless you. When you exclude her from your life and don’t allow her to help you at all, you are cutting her off from one of the purposes she is supposed to play in the relationship. As God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18).

When you ask for her opinion, when you ask for her assistance, when you allow her to help you, it makes her feel cherished by you. A woman doesn’t want to be your trophy on a pedestal. She wants to be your equal partner as you do valuable things for the kingdom of God together (1 Peter 3:7).

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