Here are 5 feelings you don’t need to have when you first meet the person God wants you to marry one day.
And if you are a Christian single woman, I wanted to let you know about my newest book. It’s called Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.
To celebrate this release and to give everyone the chance to get a copy, I’ll be offering it for just $5.99 until 10/13/2024. After that, the regular price will be $15.99.
In this study, I go through the book of Ruth verse-by-verse and show women specific biblical principles that will help them invite their future husband’s pursuit.
For more information, click here!
1. When You Meet The One God Has for You, You Don’t Need to Feel Perfect Peace About Being in a Relationship with This Person
It’s absolutely true that God wants us to always have perfect peace in him. When anxiety, worry, and stress are consuming us, something is amiss. Isaiah 26:3, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
With that said, it’s an overapplication of Scripture to think that we will always feel at peace about every relationship situation at every point in the relationship journey. Additionally, there are degrees to peace. You can have some anxiety about talking to someone you have feelings for without it being a sin. You can be at peace in Jesus even if you are not fully at peace about a certain situation (Philippians 4:7).
Therefore, you should always seek to have peace in the Lord. The overall feeling and conviction in your heart should be trust and security in Christ. If you are freaking out and worrying about this person in a sinful way, this not a good sign (Matthew 6:33-34).
But when you meet the one, don’t think you need to be at perfect peace about all the unknown details ahead. As your peace increases, this will be one of the ways that God is bringing confirmation that it’s time to get married. It’s a process.
2. When You Meet The One, You Don’t Need to Feel an Instant Desire to Want to Date This Person
Love at first sight is a myth. You can have infatuation at first sight. You can have idolization at first sight. And you can even have non-sinful romantic interest at first sight. But you can’t truly love someone at first sight.
Why? Because if you don’t know someone, you are falling in love with an idea you have of them. You are filling in the blanks with what you hope to be true rather than what you know to be true (1 Peter 5:8).
With that said, it’s not wrong to be attracted to someone you just met, to be romantically interested in them, or to be excited about the possibility of a relationship with them one day.
The main point here is that you don’t have to experience “love at first sight” when you meet the one. Many times people miss great relationship opportunities because they are expecting too much too soon.
3. When You Meet Your Future Spouse, You Don’t Need to Feel Like All the Previous Signs You Thought God Gave You About “The One” Are Being Fulfilled
Maybe you feel like God told you that you will meet your future spouse in two years. But what if you meet someone that you really like next month?
Maybe you feel like God told you the name of the person you will marry. But what if you are being drawn to someone who does not have that name?
Or maybe you thought God told you the exact person you would marry one day. But what if that person has moved on and you are starting a new relationship with someone else who is a much better fit for you?
The best way to know if God has really sent you a sign is to wait and see if it happens (Isaiah 55:10-11). You should not have to force a sign to happen if God really said it. So rather than feeling locked in by something you feel like God said, it’s best to assume God didn’t say it if reality is not bringing the needed confirmation.
4. When You Meet The One, You Don’t Need to Feel a Motive Devoid of All Personal Desires
There is an unbiblical idea among many Christians that true love must be free from all personal interests. They think that if you want something because it would make you happy, this is a selfish motive that is not glorifying to God.
The problem with this type of view about love is that it’s not in the Bible. While true love must always involve sacrifice (John 15:13), this does not mean true love must be motived by an unwanted sacrifice. In fact, when Paul is counseling people on whether or not they should get married, he uses personal happiness as a variable to consider (1 Corinthians 7:40). And when you read through the Song of Solomon, clearly the man and woman are happy to be with each other.
Thus, be careful that you are not being self-centered. But don’t think true love should be absent of personal desire. As 2 Corinthians 9:7 states, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
5. When You Meet The One, You Don’t Need to Feel a Total Lack of Temptation to Sin
There is a big difference between being tempted and giving into temptation (Luke 17:1, 1 Corinthians 10:13). If you and someone are giving into temptation over and over again and you are sinning more with this person than you were without this person, that is a red flag.
But don’t think that when you meet the person God has for you, your sin nature will vanish and Satan will just leave you two alone. Flee temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18). But when you meet the person God has for you, you won’t need to flee this person because they will want to flee the temptation with you (2 Timothy 2:22).
And if you are a Christian single woman who wants to marry a godly man one day, you may really enjoy my new book, Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.
By going through the book of Ruth verse-by-verse, you will see incredible principles God can use to help you invite your future husband’s pursuit.
For more information about the reduced release price for this book, click here!
