5 Little Tweaks that Will Help You Locate a Righteous Man

If you are a Christian single woman who wants to get into a relationship with a man who loves the Lord, here are 5 little tweaks you can make in your life that might really help you.

1. Leave Your House More and Participate in Multiple Christian Communities

Isaac met Rebekah when Abraham sent his servant out to find her (Genesis 24:1-4), Jacob met Rachel when he left Canaan (Genesis 28:1-3), Moses met Zipporah when he left Egypt (Exodus 2:11-24), and Ruth met Boaz when she left Moab and moved to Bethlehem.

Maybe you have a full-time job and you only have energy to be social on the weekends. Or maybe you are going to school right now and your schedule is very irregular, making it a challenge for you to make any weekly commitments. Or maybe you just really enjoy being at home, reading books, or watching movies.

None of this is sinful. However, the less interactions you have within a Christian community, the less opportunities you will have to meet a righteous man that you would want to be in a relationship with. Think of the math. If you spent two more times a week around other Christians and you did this for a year, you would have gone on over 100 more outings than if you just stayed home.

The key is consistency. Working up the energy to go to an event rarely helps you meet someone. But by attending a weekly Bible study or participating in a weekly hobby with other Christians or by volunteering in a ministry, you are much more likely to build bridges that could lead to a romantic connection with someone.

2. Spend More Time with Other Christian Single Women

The more women you spend time with, the more men you will naturally meet. Because of social media and the false feeling it gives many of us, we are becoming a more isolated society. By actually going out with other women, having real friendships with them, and by inviting them to live life with you, you will create an environment that will make it easier for you all to meet a man compared to you all just trying this on your own.

Maybe a guy you know will be a great match for one of your friends, or maybe a guy she knows will end up being a great match for you. The truth is, the more people you know, the more new people you will meet through those existing relationships you already have.

You were not designed to function at your best in isolation (Romans 12:4-5). This truth also applies to you meeting a righteous man. You will do better if you are helping other women and other women are helping you (Galatians 6:2).

3. Give Yourself Permission to “Fail”

Christians obviously have a huge advantage compared to non-Christians because we have the Holy Spirit and the word of God guiding us. However, one mistake some Christians often inadvertently make is that we create rules where there need not be rules. We can end up having a pass or fail mentality on issues that God is not grading (Mark 7:6-8).

For example, you may be interested in a Christian man but you are unsure if he’s interested in you. You both talk a lot when you see each other, but he doesn’t reach out to you afterwards. You want to do something to see how he would react so you could get more insight on if he likes you or not. But you are also afraid this “won’t work” or that God might not want you to do anything or maybe you will scare him off.

The truth is, unless there is a very clear command in Scripture or unless you have a strong conviction that the Holy Spirit is telling you not to do something, so often we are limiting the freedom God wants us to operate in. Sometimes we need to let go of the “pass or fail” mindset and just live. Do something and see what happens. If he doesn’t respond well, no big deal. You’re not a failure. Just keep living your life and move forward. And if he does respond well, great. Keep living life and see where things might go.

As 1 Peter 2:16 states, “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.”

4. Dress with a Purpose

As Christians, we know that the outward appearance is not as important as the inward condition (1 Samuel 16:7). However, we often undervalue how powerful it is to dress with a purpose.

Humans have a subtle ability to read unspoken cues. When a woman puts in extra effort to look nice and she walks into the room alone, a single man often instinctively notices her and is intrigued.

If you are a Christian single woman who is looking for a righteous man, you should consider this goal when you are shaping your appearance. Of course you should only wear modest clothing that accurately represents who you are (1 Peter 3:3-4). I’m not telling you to present yourself in a way that is not expressing the real you.

But if you want to draw in a godly man, it can help to dress up a little more and put more effort into your appearance if you have not been doing this. This is also a low-risk tactic. It doesn’t require you to approach a man or come up with an elaborate conversation starter. And if it doesn’t change your relationship results, it wasn’t a huge investment.

Dress with a purpose of finding a godly man. What do you have to lose?

5. Have an Open Personality Wherever You Go

An open personality is marked by a willingness to talk, listen, and connect with other people. While you know this is needed if you want to meet a godly man, you may not know that you can’t just turn this quality on and off when you need it. It takes practice to have an open personality.

Thus, start being more open everywhere you go. Instead of just waving at the greeting team as you walk into church, ask them an additional question or two, “How’s your day going?” or “Is that a new shirt? It looks great on you.” When you check out at the store, try to have a quick conversation with the clerk. When you sit down at church, introduce yourself to the person next to you and have some small talk.

And to be clear, I’m not saying you should do this only when these people are single Christian men. I’m saying you need to learn to be more open in general so that when you do meet Christian single men, you have the skills and personality traits that will allow you two to connect.

In the end, as Christians, it’s always wise to learn to season our conversations with salt so we are enjoyable to be around (Colossians 4:6). This principle will help you be a good witness and it will naturally help you meet more people, which could lead to a great connection with a righteous man.