5 Secret Cravings All Men Have that Women Would Never Expect

What does a man really want in a woman? I’m sure you’ve heard some of the basic desires men have: they want a woman who shows respect, who they find beautiful, and who can enhance their masculinity through her femininity.

Today, however, I want to talk about some desires in men that many women may never have heard about before. In fact, some men might not even realize they have these desires. But they’re there! They can just be difficult to articulate for some guys.

Therefore, here are 5 secret cravings men have that women would never expect.

1. A Man Wants a Woman for Whom He Wants to Change

The truth is, many men are afraid of relationships because they don’t want a woman to come and take away the good parts of their life. In other words, he doesn’t want to ruin a good thing. As the old saying goes, “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” So, many guys fear ending up with a woman who will make their life worse by taking away the things they really enjoy as a single man.

How does a man overcome this fear? In short, for a man to really choose a woman, he needs to get to that place where he wants to change for her. A good man knows that when he gets married, he isn’t going to be able to act like a single guy anymore (Genesis 2:24). For some men, this causes them to reject a woman because they value their current lifestyle more than the changes they know a woman would cause.

And yet, in most men, there is a longing for a companion (Genesis 2:18). Most really want to find a wife. Therefore, really, men are looking for a woman that they want to change for.

A man can say he loves you. But until a man changes his life so you can be included in it, he doesn’t really love you. When he wants to change for you, then you know his love is true.

2. A Man Wants a Woman That He Fears Losing

I’m not saying a man wants to be with a woman who makes him feel like she is always about to leave him. I’m not saying a man wants a woman who shows attention to other guys to make him jealous. And I’m certainly not saying a man wants to always feel the internal fear that he could lose this woman at any moment. A man certainly wants a woman who is committed to him, who is detached from other men, and who gives him the internal security that she will be loyal to the end.

Rather, when I say that a man wants to be with a woman he fears losing, I’m saying that a man wants to be with a woman that he knows he would regret not committing to. When a man knows his life would be better with a particular woman in it, he is motivated by a healthy fear to pursue her so he doesn’t miss his chance with her.

In other words, for a man to pursue a woman into marriage, he needs to not be able to resist pursuing her. He knows how the devil works. 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” We are led astray by the devil when our minds are intoxicated.

Therefore, a man will try not to pursue a woman to test his own heart and make sure he is sober-minded about her. He knows he can be blinded by beauty, infatuated, and misguided. He’s had crushes before that have faded with time. He fears choosing a woman whom he would end up regretting. And so, to protect himself from this, he will first try to make his feelings for this woman go away.

When he can’t make his feelings for her go away, that’s when he knows he has to pursue her.

3. A Man Wants a Woman Who He Can Make Happy

Notice what I really just said there. I didn’t say a man wants a woman who can make him happy. Men do want that, but that’s obvious. What’s not so obvious is that what a man craves even more than a woman who can make him happy is a woman whom he can make happy.

Proverbs 21:19, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” More than anything, a man wants his wife to be pleased with him. It’s nice when she tries to make him happy through her service. But what makes him happiest is knowing he has done something that makes her happy with him.

Of course, ultimately, a man must be validated by his Heavenly Father. A man needs to know God is pleased with him and loves him. And yet, when it comes to the woman in his life, every man wants to feel like a winner. And a man feels like a winner when the woman in his life makes him feel like he’s doing a good job in loving her.

When he constantly feels like a failure in his relationship with the woman, he will start to avoid her. But when a woman knows how to show her gratitude and appreciation for all that he does for her, a man will be desperate to be around her as much as he can.

Additionally, when a woman knows how to make a man feel like a winner, he’s also much more willing to improve in the areas where he might be falling short with her. He can receive constructive criticism from her when he knows she’s the type of woman who can actually be made happy. When she’s built him up first, he doesn’t feel torn down when she expresses disappointment. But when a woman is miserable, no matter how hard a man tries to please her, he becomes defeated and gives up trying to make her happy at all.

Also, some women are so unhappy in their hearts because they lack the joy of Christ that no matter what a man does, they can’t be satisfied. This makes the man feel like it’s a losing battle. More than anything, when it comes to a relationship with a woman, he wants to be someone who he can actually make happy.

Thus, women who are content in Christ end up being the most attractive types of women because they aren’t asking the man in their life to fill them in ways that only Christ can (1 Peter 3:4-6). And thus, when the man does do something kind, the woman can receive it and be grateful rather than resenting the man for not filling her.

4. A Man Craves a Woman Who Is Honest About Her Desires

The truth is, when a man loves you, he learns what you love. He pays attention to what you desire, what makes you sad, and what makes you happy. He then takes that data and acts on it, trying to avoid making you sad and trying to be the cause of joy in your life as much as possible.

The problem, however, is that many women refuse to be vulnerable enough to show this man what she really wants. She pretends certain things make her happy, but then, when the man does those things, he senses that her appreciation is forced and not authentic.

Proverbs 24:26 (NIV), “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” When a woman is vulnerable enough with a good man to tell him what she actually desires, it is a breath of fresh air.

5. A Man Wants a Wife Who He Can Please Sexually

Most guys think they want to be with a woman who is extremely attractive and who arouses them sexually. While there’s obviously truth to the idea that men want to be with a woman they are physically attracted to, there is a deeper desire that is essential for physical attraction to last in a man for that one woman.

While most men won’t be able to articulate this if you ask them, what they find most attractive in a woman is when she is attracted to them. This goes back to the principle we discussed in point 3. Above wanting a woman who satisfies him, a man craves a woman who he can satisfy.

In marriage, the most sexually pleasing thing for the husband is to know he is sexually pleasing his wife (Song of Solomon 1:2). When he knows he is bringing her pleasure, this is the most sexually pleasurable thing for him.

Here’s a related article called 3 Insecurities in a Man that Stop Him from Pursuing You.