Here are 5 biblical signs that someone is trying to sinfully seduce you.
1. Someone Is Trying to Seduce You When They Offer You Themselves for a Price
According to the Bible, sin will always cost you, for as Romans 6:23 states, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” When someone truly loves you, they will not offer themselves to you to get something from you in return. They will not ask you to sell your soul to satisfy your sexual desires. Notice what Proverbs 6:25-29 states about adultery:
Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.”
You will know someone is trying to seduce you when they are trying to pull you away from God’s path by tempting you to take what they have even though it will cost you dearly.
2. When Someone Is Trying to Seduce You, They Will Intentionally Try to Arouse Your Sexual Desires Through Their Physical Appearance and Flirtatious Words
Proverbs 5:3-4 says, “For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.” Proverbs 6:25 (NLT) states, “Don’t lust for her beauty. Don’t let her coy glances seduce you.” The word “coy” is defined as “making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring.” Proverbs 7:10-11 also explains, “And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. She is loud and wayward. . . .”
Notice that in each of these passages there is a warning about this type of person’s words, eye movements, clothes, and communication style. God has made humans to be sexual, and when used properly in marriage this is good. A wife and husband should be aroused and attracted by one another. But a seductress or seducer will use their body and mannerism to intentionally arouse your sexuality.
No matter how seductive someone is being, we are all responsible for our own choices. We all are required to have self-control so we can never blame anyone else for our sin. However, we should also recognize when someone is trying to seduce us so we can then avoid them. For as 1 Corinthians 6:18 states, “Flee from sexual immorality.”
3. When Someone Is Pursuing You Secretly, This Is a Sign They Are Trying to Seduce You
One signs that someone is trying to seduce you is when they are trying to hide your relationship with them from other people. If someone just wants you for sinful reasons, usually they will avoid allowing you to meet their friends and family.
They do this because once they use you for their own selfish reasons they are going to want to make a clean break from you; so right from the start of your relationship with them they are already planning their exit strategy because they know they are going to leave you after they use you.
Common signs of a seduction are when they text you late at night or only want to hangout with you in isolated places, again, usually late at night. You can take this point a step further and apply these truths to porn use as well. The digital images of men and women also will try to seduce you through isolation and secrecy. Notice what Proverbs 7:18-20 states:
Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey . . . .”
This scene is occurring late at night and in an empty house with no one around. Lust is always a hidden sin.
4. If Someone Has a History of Seduction, This Increases the Odds of Them Trying to Seduce You as Well
We shouldn’t believe everything we hear about people. We shouldn’t hold people’s past sins against them if they have repented to the Lord and are seeking to follow God now. But we must also not ignore the bad warning signs we hear about people who have rightfully earned a negative reputation through their seductive and promiscuous behavior. For as Proverbs 7:25-27 states:
Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng.”
Notice this passage states that a seductive person has “many a victim.” In short, don’t assume that someone who has consistently seduced others and lived a lustful lifestyle before meeting you will all of a sudden change their way of life. Transformation is always possible through the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit, but true transformation will be marked by the process of sanctification.
5. Someone Is Trying to Seduce You When It Is Clear that They Want You Physically Even Though They Don’t Actually Love You
One of the things Christians often get wrong when we discuss how to honor God with our sexuality is that we begin to think we need to kill all our sexual desires. But this is not what the Bible says. We are to kill sin, but our sexuality is not sinful itself. The sin nature uses human sexuality in sinful ways, but human sexuality is not sinful itself.
Rather, God has called Christians to use their sexuality in the way that he has designed it to be used. God is not a prude. He’s the one who designed sexual passion, he just designed it to be used only between a husband and wife. God wants Christians to use the gift of sex the way he made it to be used, and God made sex to be an expression of love between a husband and wife. In other words, when someone just wants to have sex without loving you through committing to you in marriage, this is when sin occurs. Notice what Proverbs 7:21-23 states:
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.”
When someone is trying to seduce you, they will be doing this even though they know this sin will negatively impact you. That’s not love. True love does what is best for the other person even when it means denying your own fleshly desires. If someone truly loves you, they will want to have sex with you, but they will want to have sex with you in the context of marriage. If they want sex without marriage, they don’t really love you.