If you’re a Christian woman and you’re wondering if a guy likes you, what signs will be present? It’s obvious when a guy just asks you on a date or is expressing himself clearly, but at other times a man might take things slower to feel out if you’re interested in him like he is in you.
Therefore, here are 5 subtle signs a guy might be gently pursuing you to see if the feelings are mutual or not.
1. An Increase in His Frequency of Approaching You Could Be a Sign He Is Subtly Pursuing You to See if You’re Interested in Him
Has a guy been coming up to you every Sunday for months, just small talking and seeing how your week was? Or does a guy at work stop by your desk every morning just to share his office struggles with you? Odds are, a man who is doing this kind of thing is not interested in you. After months of doing something like this, a man who was interested would most likely have tried something more by now.
However, if a guy who wasn’t talking to you at church all of a suddenly starts approaching you a few Sundays in a row, he could be trying to see if he has a chance with you. Or if a guy at work has been sitting by you at lunch lately when he used to sit somewhere else, he could be feeling you out.
So what should you do? If you don’t like him, be polite but don’t be overly enthusiastic. He will get the picture and stop approaching you. If you do like him, you should go out of your way to do the same thing he’s been doing to you. If he approaches you at church, you should approach him sometimes. If he’s been sitting by you at work, go out of your way to sit by him sometimes. If he’s been gauging your interest, this will probably let him know he does have a chance with you.
A Christian man knows that we should treat others how we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). If you are showing a lack of interest in him, he will assume this is how you want to be treated. If you are responding positively to his pursuit, he will probably increase his efforts.
2. A Single Invitation to a Shared Experience Could Be a Sign He Is Subtly Pursuing You to See if You’re Interested in Him
Sometimes a woman misses her chance with a guy because she unknowingly shut him down.
One common example of this is when a man invites you do something with him or with a group he’s a part of. If a guy openly likes you and you two are openly feeling things out as you head towards dating, rejecting an invitation is not a deal breaker. But when he’s subtly trying to figure out if he has a chance with you, your single rejection of his one invitation might be all he needs to assume you’re not interested.
You might think that’s not fair and he should be bolder in his pursuit. But just know that other women would be offended and think a guy is a creep if he keeps asking. So most men error on the side of caution when it comes to pursuing a woman. They will usually try once and then not again in fear of being too pushy. He’s not being weak. He’s trying to consider how the women might feel when he approaches them (Philippians 2:4).
If you don’t like him, just don’t do anything after you reject his invitation. If you do like him, clearly let him know you have a genuine conflict in your schedule but you would like him to invite you again when the opportunity arises. If you just say you can’t make it with no open door for him to invite you in the future, he will assume you don’t want him to try again.
3. Talking About You with Other People Can Be a Sign He’ Subtly Pursuing You and Gauging Your Interest
Did a guy ask one of your friends where you were? Is a man asking other people if they know you? Is he gathering information about you through mutual friends? A guy usually doesn’t go out of his way to do things like this unless he’s interested in you.
First, he wants to know if you have a good reputation so he doesn’t pursue a woman who isn’t a good fit for him as a Christian man (Ruth 3:11). Second, he may be trying to see if you have been talking about him at all too.
4. Helping You with No Strings Attached Is a Sign He Might Be Pursuing You and Feeling Out Your Interest Level
Is he just being nice or is he trying to see if he has a chance with you? Sometimes the answer to that question is, “Both.”
A Christian man is usually emotionally mature enough to help a woman without immediately asking her on a date. This might make her feel obligated and put her in a weird spot. Rather, if a man helps a woman he likes, he will usually just leave it at that and look for another opportunity to pursue her later on.
He will probably use the service opportunity to just be a good Christian man (Galatians 6:10) and to spend more time with you to see how you are connecting.
5. A Withdraw of Attention to See if You Notice Is a Sign He Might Be Pursuing You to See if You’re Interested
Was he talking to you more, texting you, and asking you to spend time with him? But now he’s stopped or slowed down? Has he lost interest?
Maybe. However, he might also be trying to figure out if you want him to keep pursuing you. If you have not been very proactive or positive when he’s interacted with you, he might be pulling back a bit to see if you even notice or care. If you like him, do a little more to encourage him to keep pursuing you. If you reach out but that does not spark his pursuit again, just let him go and assume he’s not interested.
Oftentimes, however, the man is just looking for a little validation that he’s on the right road and not wasting his time. If he likes you, he just wants to make sure you like him too before he gets too far ahead of himself (Proverbs 4:23).
