Here are 6 signs someone in your life is mistreating you and taking you for granted. These signs can apply to any relationship, but when I was creating this content I was thinking of a dating relationship. While these signs are certainly red flags for any relationship, these are not insurmountable sins if someone is willing to repent and ask you for forgiveness.
So if you see these signs in a relationship of yours, talk to this person about how you feel. If they respond poorly and do not make changes, then you may need to move on from this relationship.
1. If They Hold You to a Higher Standard Than They Require of Themselves
One of the very best principles for any relationship is found in Luke 6:31 when Jesus said, “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
Relationships can be tricky because of the subjective preferences we all have. There’s nothing wrong with having preferences, although it is certainly easy to elevate unimportant things which causes people to become superficial and miss out on good relationships.
Perhaps the greater danger, however, when it comes to personal preferences is mistreating people by expecting more of them than you expect of yourself. It’s one thing for someone to have personal standards, but if they want you to act in a certain way that they themselves do not act, this is a classic sign of mistreatment.
2. If They Are Trying to Mold You Into Someone Else Rather Than Loving You for Who You Are
A relationship begins to rot from the inside out when someone starts trying to form you into their own image. This is a sign they are trying to be your god. God made us in his image as Genesis 1:27 states and he continues to transform us so we look more and more like Jesus as Romans 8:29 teaches us.
When someone sees your flaws and withholds love until you change, this is not healthy. You will know you are in a healthy relationship when you two can love each other even after you see each other’s flaws. We must never be content in our own sin, but the best way we can help each other grow is by giving love even when we don’t deserve it. So if someone is constantly trying to change you, this means they don’t really love you for who you are and they are taking you for granted.
3. If They Bring Up Your Past Sins to Justify Their Current Sins Even Though They Said They Forgave You
Forgiveness is when you no longer require payment for someone’s wrong doing against you because you have wiped the debt clean through the blood of Jesus Christ. You don’t have to forget someone’s sin to forgive them, but you do need to stop punishing them for this sin if you actually forgive them.
Someone who lacks real love for you will use your past failures for justification to mistreat you in the present. As 1 Corinthians 13:5 says about real love, “it keeps no record of wrongs.”
4. If They Get More Upset When You Don’t Do Something for Them Compared to How Grateful They Are When You Do Serve Them
When someone begins to take you for granted, this means they will begin to expect you to serve them and demand it rather than being grateful when you do serve them because you chose to. A healthy relationship occurs when two people serve one another, but things get messed up really quick when someone starts demanding that the other person put them first.
Look at how Jesus loved the Father. Jesus didn’t turn his back on the Father when he did not get what he wanted, rather, in Luke 22:42 he said, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”
When someone gets more upset at you when you don’t serve them than they are grateful for you when you do serve them, this is a sign of ingratitude and mistreatment.
5. If You Ask Them to Do Something for You but They Continually Forget to Do It
Romans 12:10 states, “Outdo one another in showing honor.” Notice that this verse addresses both people in a relationship. It says we should serve one another, so service should not be just one way.
When you are in a healthy relationship, your main focus will not be to get what you want; however, this does not mean you will never ask for things that you want from this person. When you are truly secure in someone’s love for you, this will free you to express your inner desires to this person.
While we can’t always accomplish exactly what someone asks for, if someone in your life consistently just forgets to do what you asked for, this is a sign they have taken you for granted.
6. If They Are Only Nice to You When They Want Something
A manipulator will use kindness as means to end. Rather than serving you because they actually love you, this person will serve you only to get something they want in return. James 3:16 states, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
When someone treats you kindly only so they can get something from you, it’s like they are beginning to treat you like an animal in need of training. To train an animal, you give them a treat so they will obey your command. This is not how healthy relationships operate.
So if someone is trying to string you along with niceness only to take more than they give, this is a sign they are taking you for granted and mistreating you.