Jesus spoke to the masses, he visited towns because that’s where the people were, and every Christian is told to make disciples of all nations. Like Jesus, to love well, we must go where the people are.
Some Christians are called to singleness. These types of people are typically quite content with not being in a romantic relationship, they don’t struggle with sexual temptation, and their desire for singleness is rooted in their desire to serve God.
Most Christians who are single, however, don’t fall into this category. The vast majority of us have not been blessed with the gift of singleness. One lie churches often unintentionally teach Christian singles is that it’s not okay to be discontent with their singleness. Through well meant teachings and seminars on how Christian singles must find all their contentment in Christ, people often end up feeling guilty for being unhappy about their lack of marriage. Many people feel it is wrong to want to be married.
The difference between teen romance and a deeply committed marriage is persevering faithfulness. When you date, you are gauging whether or not you want to remain with that person. When you get married, your only thought is to remain, love, and be faithful no matter what happens. Likewise, to be Christian, you must move past the dating season and fully commit to your marriage with God.
Does the Bible say we should not care what others think about us? No, but it does say we must seek to please God over people.
As every Christian matures, one of the things the Holy Spirit will surely convict us of is seeking the praise of man over God. In our sinful nature, we care about what others think of us for the wrong reasons.
Caring What Others Think of You Can Be Expressed Wrongly in Two Ways
When we seek the praise of people, it can be expressed in many different ways. The two ends of the spectrum are obsessive pursuit and obsessive avoidance. One person may do anything to be praised by people, while another person will do anything not to be seen by people, but both can have the same root issue – caring too much about what people think of them.
Getting married changes everything. The hope is that it changes your life for the better, but the guarantee is that marriage will change you no matter what.
Christian singleness can be lonely. You may not feel lonely every moment, every day, or even every week, but most Christian singles really struggle with loneliness.
Is God punishing you with singleness? Is Christian singleness a curse or a blessing?
The Bible answers all questions like these indirectly and directly. What follows is a foundational understanding of what the Bible says about singleness.
The Bible says singleness is a gift, so God is not punishing you with singleness. However, marriage is a gift too. God can withhold marriage not as punishment but as a form of loving discipline to help correct your sinful behavior.
What I’m about to say is going to come off as blasphemous at first. So please read this whole article to get the full context of this statement. If you do, I believe you will better enjoy your Christian singleness and be better situated to find a Christian spouse. Alright, here it goes:
Stop trying to put God first as a way of finding your future spouse.
Finding someone to marry seems like a mysterious process. And in some ways it really is. God has a plan for you full of twists and turns, and if you are called to marriage, God knows just how he is going to bring your future husband or wife into your life.
While Christian singles certainly must trust and submit to the sovereignty of God, that doesn’t mean God has not outlined specific actions that will increase your chances of getting married. While finding the one will always have elements of mystery to it, there are always reasons for everything, including why you are not married.
What follows is not an exhaustive list of reasons you’re not married. These are just some of the most common reasons, or roadblocks (depending how you look at), for why many Christian singles are not married.
Sequels are usually not nearly as good as the original film or book in a series. Most sequels fail to live up to the greatness of the original story because they are trying to recreate the magic that happened the first time rather than building on the story. They try to go through the same plot progression as the first story, the characters end getting into the same trouble, and the whole point of the movie is simply to redo the first one under a different title.
Do you know that we can do that in our lives too? It’s good to look back at our past with fond memories. But there are countless dangers that come with idolizing our past.