Humor Unlocks Her Heart: 5 Biblical Reasons

Here’s 5 reasons why women are often drawn to men who can make them laugh—and how godly men can grow in this without becoming shallow or performative.

1. Laughter Signals Emotional Safety

Proverbs 17:22, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

When a woman laughs with you, she feels emotionally safe. Laughter breaks tension, lowers defenses, and lets someone know, “You’re okay here. You’re safe with me.” And that’s exactly how a woman wants to feel around a man – safe.

Think of laughter like a fireplace in a cold cabin. It doesn’t change the storm outside, but it makes the inside warm and inviting. A man who can bring warmth through humor creates a place a woman wants to come back to.

To be clear, this is not a call for you to be a stand-up comedian. You don’t have to turn every moment into a joke (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Rather, the point I’m trying to make here is that without laughter and joy, a woman may feel pressure or a judgmental atmosphere where she needs to be perfect to be desired by you. But when you laugh at yourself and playfully interact with her, it shows you are not prideful. It shows you are safe to be more vulnerable with.

2. Humor Correlates with a High Intelligence

1 Kings 18:26-27 (NLT), “Then they called on the name of Baal from morning until noontime, shouting, ‘O Baal, answer us!’ But there was no reply of any kind. Then they danced, hobbling around the altar they had made. About noontime Elijah began mocking them. ‘You’ll have to shout louder,’ he scoffed, “for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself. Or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!”’”

I’ve always believed comedians are actually some of the most intelligent people. Usually they aren’t book smart. But to make other people laugh, you need a deep understanding of how other people think. You need to have such a strong grasp on reality that you can bend it through word play and storytelling in such a way that is believable and yet absurd, finding that right balance that other people find funny.

Thus, when a woman sees a man who knows how to make other people laugh, she also sees a man who is intelligent. Like Elijah mocking the prophets in a humorous way, a man who can be humorous shows he is operating on a higher level of thinking than other men. She may not consciously know why she is drawn to the man who can make her laugh, but deep down it’s because his humor is signaling to her that he understands people and can succeed in this world.

When a man is too serious for the moment or doesn’t get the subtle humor that happens throughout life, a woman may feel things are going over his head, which signifies a lack of intelligence.

Not only is intelligence attractive, but it also signifies a man’s earning potential. So, in a way, a man who can make a woman laugh is also showing her that he has a better opportunity to be a good provider than a man who lacks this ability to connect with other people on this deeper level.

3. Joy Is a Fruit of the Spirit. And Laughter Reflects It

Galatians 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness…”

Women are attracted to joy because it reflects spiritual maturity. A joyful man doesn’t need to chase drama or wallow in self-pity. He lifts others up. He enjoys life, even amid trials. He can laugh with others, not at them. And that kind of man stands out.

And there’s certainly a difference between biblical joy and worldly laughter. A guy can be goofy or lighthearted without having the joy of the Lord. However, when a man has the joy of the Lord, I believe he will oftentimes also have a great sense of humor because the joy in him makes it easy to find the good in the moments.

Joy is like sunlight through stained glass—it reveals the beauty that was already there. Laughter is how that joy shines into everyday moments, showing women that your faith isn’t just intellectual—it’s emotional and alive (Proverbs 15:13).

Spend time with the Lord, surround yourself with uplifting people, and learn to laugh even when things are hard. A godly woman isn’t looking for a clown—she’s looking for someone whose joy runs deep enough to laugh in this dark world.

4. Laughter Reveals Shared Values and Connection

Amos 3:3, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”

Have you ever noticed how laughter often happens when two people “get” the same thing? Whether it’s a shared memory, a funny reaction, or a mutual observation, laughter reveals alignment. It’s not just about humor—it’s about connection.

That’s why you don’t need to be a funny person to everyone. Rather, all you need to do is find ways to make that one woman laugh sometimes when you are together. This will show her that you two get each other on a deeper level.

Women are drawn to men who laugh at the same things they do, not because they want a performer, but because shared laughter is a sign of shared values and mental chemistry.

Laughter is like a tuning fork. When both hearts vibrate at the same pitch, something beautiful happens. Shared laughter often signals that you’re already walking in emotional and spiritual rhythm.

Pay attention to what makes her laugh. Not every woman will resonate with the same humor. Some enjoy wit, others enjoy stories, some appreciate playfulness. Laughter gives you clues about whether your hearts align.

5. A Man Who Can Make Her Laugh Is Easy to Attach to for the Long Haul

Mark 10:7-9, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

A Christian woman knows marriage is meant to be for life. Thus, there will obviously be a lot of pressure to choose a spouse correctly. Humor helps this choosing process for a variety of reasons.

First, I think there is a biological component. When we laugh, our brains produce certain chemicals that make us feel good. If you, therefore, make a woman laugh, I believe you are then more easily associated with good feelings to her. It’s an association. When she sees you, it’s easier to recall those good feelings you experienced last time through laughter.

Another reason humor helps a woman want to choose a man as her husband is because it helps her imagine a happy future with him. When she thinks about a man as her future husband, she knows there will be a lot of unknowns. But when you can laugh in the present together, that at least helps her imagine a happy future with you.

Conclusion:

If you’re a Christian single man desiring a wife, remember this: Godly women are often drawn to godly men who know how to laugh—not because they’re silly, but because they’re spiritually healthy (Proverbs 15:13).

Humor isn’t a distraction from holiness. It’s a sign of it. It reveals security, joy, connection, and strength. If you want to grow in this area, you don’t need to be funnier—you need to be freer. Treat God and life seriously. But don’t take yourself too seriously. Let the joy of the Lord fill you, and laughter will follow.

As Nehemiah 8:10 states, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”