If You Have a Strong Desire for Someone, 3 Signs God Is Saying, “Do Less”

If you have really strong feelings for someone who you are not in a relationship with right now, what is God telling you to do? Should you just sit and wait? Or should you be more interactive toward this person?

Sometimes you need to do more and sometimes you need to do less. In this article, we will discuss 3 signs God is telling you to do less if you have a strong desire for someone you are not in a relationship with right now.

1. If You’re Not Acting Like Yourself Around This Person Because You Like Them So Much, Oftentimes God Is Saying, “Do Less”

When people feel pressure, they often do the opposite of what comes natural to them. If you are normally a bit more reserved, pressure may cause you to start talking a lot more. If you are normally very expressive, pressure may cause you to go internal and stop voicing your feelings.

However, if you really want to make a connection with someone you like, the key is to be yourself. That advice is very common, but it’s really hard to actually do it. One way God may help you to just be yourself around someone you really like is by leading you to pull back just a bit.

I’m not telling you to avoid this person or to start acting in ways where they will notice your distance. Rather, when I say you should “do less,” I’m simply talking about taking the pressure off yourself. Plan less. Try less. Worry less. Just be. Exist as the person God made you. Live in the joy of the Lord.

When you have really strong feelings for someone and you want to be in a relationship with this person, you must remember that this is not all up to you. You don’t have to punch in some magical formula with your words and actions that will unlock this person’s heart to you. All you need to do is be yourself. If God wants you with this person, this person will also want to be with you.

Jeremiah 17:7-8, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

2. If You’re Stressing About Missing Your Chance with This Person and You Don’t Want Them to Slip Away, Oftentimes God Is Saying, “Do Less”

Ironically, sometimes the more we do, the further away something becomes. This isn’t always the case. Certainly there are times where we need to do more. So how will we know what is needed in each situation?

One way you can know if you need to do less is when your actions are having the reverse effect that you wanted. If you are calling a woman every day because you wanted her to know that you are thinking of her, this might push her away because it’s too much too soon. If you are being very expressive about your feelings for a guy who was pursuing you but now he’s pursuing you less, you could be coming on too strong and rushing his heart.

So we have to be wise. Wisdom doesn’t live by formula’s and rules that must be applied in the same way all the time. Rather, wisdom is knowing how to rightly apply the knowledge and principles you have. We must look at the situation, the desired outcomes, and act accordingly.

Notice what James 3:16-17 says, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

What effect are your actions having? If things are getting more chaotic the more you do, God is probably telling you to do less. When you are using godly wisdom, you will be peaceful and sincere rather than trying to manipulate a certain outcome to happen at any cost necessary.

Never try to win someone at any cost. This will lead them into thinking you are someone you are not. What’s the point of being with someone who doesn’t know the real you? That won’t last. You will grow tired of acting in unnatural ways and you will feel unloved; and they will be confused when you start changing.

3. If You’ve Already Taken Wise Steps to Make a Bridge for This Person but They Haven’t Walked Across It Yet, Usually God Will Then Say, “Do Less”

Rather than thinking you it’s your job to get this person to like you, you must realize your true job is to simply make bridges for this person to get to know you.

If you haven’t done anything to help this person know you, God is probably not telling you to do less. You have to be around someone you like if you want them to like you back. You have to talk to them so you two can exchange meaningful dialogue and assess whether or not you both feel a connection or not.

However, after you have tried to provide bridges for this person to connect with you, you then have to let this person either walk across those bridges or not. Likewise, if this person is making bridges for you, you must then choose to walk across or not. Things get confusing and unpleasant when we do more than make bridges. For a relationship to be healthy and enjoyable, it has to be mutual.

Remember, it’s never your job to make the seed grow. Rather, it’s your job to scatter the seed. As Ecclesiastes 11:5-6 states:

As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.”