How will you know when you are ready to be in a relationship? What signs will God give you to help you answer this question?
There are natural tests that will occur to you that God can use to help you know if your heart is ready for romance. I’m not saying God is necessarily causing these things to happen in your life. However, he will use these things to help you gain information about yourself.
Therefore, here are 5 tests God will use to help you know if you’re ready for a relationship.
1. The Test of Attention
When someone is stranded at sea without fresh water, they often get tempted to drink the saltwater all around them. No one would ever drink ocean water when they are in the right mind. But when you are dying of thirst, even undrinkable water can be a temptation.
This is similar to some Christian singles who long to be married but have felt ignored by the opposite sex for too long. When someone comes along who lacks all the godly qualities you want in a partner but this person is showing you intense attention, it can be very hard to turn this person away. You would never consider dating this person if you had a better option; but because you are so thirsty for romance, you might be really struggling to reject them.
This is a test you must pass before you are ready for a godly relationship. If you can’t reject an ungodly person because you love the attention, this is a sign your heart is empty of the love of Christ and you are willing to put romance above Jesus.
Throughout Scripture there is a principle of first needing to let go of the worldly so that you might receive the righteous gifts from God (Mark 10:29-31). The faster you reject the person that you know is not right for you, the sooner you can spend your energy on meeting the person God probably does have for you.
2. The Test of Contentment While Discontent
The Bible’s teaching on contentment can be easily misunderstood if you take it out of context. Many Christians have come to believe God wants them to be content with everything that is happening in life. So if you would like to be married but you are still single, you may assume God wants you to be content with your singleness. Perhaps then he will give you a marriage.
But this is not correct. God does not call us to deny our good desires and pretend we have everything we want. Rather, the command for contentment is rooted in Christ. We are called to always be content in Christ even when there are things in life that we are discontent with. For example, you can be content in Jesus and fully in love with him while also wanting to be married and no longer single.
Philippians 4:4 states, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” It doesn’t say we must rejoice in our cancer, in our poverty, in our hunger, or in our unwanted singleness. Rather, it says we must rejoice in the Lord always. So it’s not wrong to want things you don’t have. It is wrong, however, to be unhappy in Jesus because you don’t have something you want. You can rejoice in the Lord even when you have cancer, poverty, hunger, or unwanted singleness.
So to be ready for a relationship as a Christian, you must be fully content in Christ, choosing to be joyful in him even while you long for a spouse. If you are mad at God or unhappy with him because he has not given you the relationship you desire, this is a sign he’s not first in your life.
3. The Test of Unmet Expectations
Expectations can be a barrier to the gifts God wants to give you. It’s normal to desire things to happen in a certain way. However, we go too far when we demand that they must happen in a certain way.
Thus, to be ready for a relationship from the Lord, you have to be ready to let go of what you thought you needed to happen and embrace what God wants to happen. Are you clinging to the expectation of marrying that certain person even though the facts seem to be pointing you in a different direction? Are you clinging to the idea of meeting someone at church and in no other way? Do you feel like your spouse must possess certain exterior qualities?
Psalm 37:4 states that if we delight in God, he will give us the desires of our heart. But this verse does not promise us that God will fulfill those desires in the way that we expected.
4. The Test of Risk
Usually people want to find love while exposing themselves to the least amount of risk. I’m certainly not saying you should be unwise and expose yourself to the most amount of risk. However, when you want to be in a relationship, you have to be ready to risk rejection, unmet expectations, and unplanned for experiences.
If you aren’t willing to step outside of your comfort zone, you probably just aren’t ready for a relationship. When you fear something so much that it paralyzes you, this is a sign you are not fully anchored in the love of Christ (1 John 4:18). When you know you are loved by God and that you are his son or daughter, this frees you from the paralyzing fear of what others think of you.
5. The Test of the Unknown
Will you proceed forward even if God doesn’t tell you exactly what will happen?
Many people get stuck because they are waiting for a guarantee from God. They may say, “Lord, please tell me if this is my future spouse. I won’t move forward until you tell me”
While we should seek God’s leading, we must not expect him to reveal our entire future before it happens. If you won’t move forward until you know what will happen, you will always stay still.
God will be with you. To know his will for your relationships, you must move forward into the unknown. He will reveal his path for you as you walk forward with him in faith (Proverbs 3:5-6).
