12 Differences Between Worldly Women and Godly Women

Today we’ll be reviewing a TikTok video that has been going viral for all the wrong reasons. I’m not trying to be rude against this woman or make fun of her. Rather, the heart behind this reaction is to instruct single Christian men on how to avoid marrying a toxic woman.

Point 1: Worldly Women Are Quick to Threaten Divorce. Godly Women Take the Marriage Covenant Very Seriously

My first thought is that she is talking about divorce is a super casual way. Whatever story she’s about to tell us, it needs to be very serious for her to be justify considering divorcing her husband (Matthew 19:5-6).

This brings us the first huge difference I want to discuss between a godly women and worldly women. A godly woman doesn’t have the word “divorce” on the tip of her tongue like the rest of culture. The woman in this video isn’t unique. She’s just a reflection of where our godless society has arrived at in terms of the covenant of marriage. Divorce is a normal, acceptable option to problems for modern people.

In Scripture, however, the justifiable reasons for divorce are very small. Adultery (Matthew 5:32), an unbelieving spouse wanting to leave (1 Corinthians 7:12-15), or abusive actions that would indicate this person is an unbeliever who wants to leave (Matthew 7:20).

Therefore, if you want to avoid marrying a woman who uses divorce as means of manipulating you every time she’s unhappy with something, make sure she’s not worldly in general. If she’s following worldly patterns that seem innocent, just be aware that she will then follow worldly patterns that will inflict a lot more damage.

People don’t just dabble in worldliness and then act biblical when things get hard. If they have an unbiblical mindset in the small things, they will also have an unbiblical mindset in bigger things, like divorce (Luke 16:10).

So let’s see what her reasoning for considering divorce was.

Point 2: Worldly Women Let Subjective Experiences Shape Their Beliefs About Reality. Godly Women Let Objective Truth Shape Their Beliefs About Reality

Did you see the subtle switch she just made there? She said, “On paper, I have an amazing husband, he’s incredibly supportive, he’s kind, he’s loyal, great dad, present . . . On paper, what else could I ask for?” Now watch the mind-flip here, “But in reality, my experience is very similar to the experience of other women.”

This is incredibly dangerous way to operate. She is replacing factual reality with her experiential reality. She just told us all these great facts about her husband, but now she is saying those facts on paper on not reality. Her experience, however, is reality.

You will never be able to have a healthy relationship with someone who has this mindset. This is where the devil dwells. Notice what Peter says, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). You’re not sober-minded when you believe your feelings are reality rather than the facts.

When you are ruled by your feelings and you expect everyone else to submit to your experience, you lose the ability to share an objective reality that we can all agree on. This “reality is my experience” mentality is the foundation for narcissism, for being a tyrant who must have her own way.

Point 3: Worldly Women Value Their Career Roles Equally with Their Roles in the Family. Godly Women Know Their Families Are Their First Priority

Now we are getting to the heart of her issue. She was fine when it was just her and her husband; but now that she is a mother, she’s unhappy.

I tell men all the time, always think about your future children when you are dating a woman and looking for a wife. When a woman becomes a mother, the God-given differences between men and women are heightened and become even more obvious. A couple can play games and think egalitarianism will work, but when kids come, all that comes crashing down.

God made men and women different on purpose. When a man and woman are trying to act the same, that immediately blows up in their faces when kids come. It’s not God’s way. Men and women are supposed to be different. We don’t need two moms or two dads. Kids need a mom and a dad who are different.

Genesis 1:27, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

Point 4: Worldly Women Think Equality Must Mean Sameness. Godly Women Understand a Man and Woman Equally Support the Family Unit in Different Ways

She believes it’s a problem that women carry a disproportionate amount of work in the home because she believes equality is meant to be sameness. It would be a problem if she was doing more in the home if the man was not doing more outside of the home.

Because she’s a woman, she naturally values what happens in her home more than what happens outside of her home. But the man is called by God to support what is happening inside the home by being the one who carries a disproportionate amount of the work outside of the home. Her issue is that she feels devalued as a woman because she doesn’t have the same job description as a man. That’s unbiblical thinking. Husbands and wives are equally important but they have different functions. God made a man to protect and provide and God made a woman to manage and nourish the homelife.

If you want to avoid this problem, you have to marry a woman who values the differences in men and women. A godly woman is happy to take care of her home and children. She’s not nagging her husband to act like a woman.

Of course a man should help a woman at home, do choirs, take care of the children, help his wife have free time like he does. Of course he needs to spend a massive amount of time at home, investing in his family through his presence.

But let’s not get it twisted. Her primary responsibility is the inside of the home and his primary responsibility is protecting her and providing for her so she can enjoy her work, not so he can do her work. After he does that, then he can contribute in the home. It’s not a matter of “either or” but of emphasis. The woman’s emphasis should be on the homelife and the man’s emphasis must be on providing for and protecting that homelife.

Proverbs 31:27-29, “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’”

Point 5: Worldly Women Are Proud and Ungrateful. Godly Women Are Not Too Proud to Show Gratitude

Is she complaining about him cooking but asking her what she wants to eat? Maybe I misunderstood but that’s what it sounded like she just said. She’s upset that he asks her what he should make?

A man is happy to serve, but what he wants in gratitude. Ephesians 5:33, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Point 6: Worldly Women Are Entitled and Are Impossible to Please. Godly Women Have an Inner Happiness and Thus Are Free to Enjoy What a Man Is Doing Rather Than Just Complain About What He’s Not Doing

She just said, “When you drop the kids off at daycare, you ask me what they need in their backpacks.” He’s driving the kids to daycare every day and she’s mad that he asks her what the kids need in their backpacks?

Never tolerate an entitled woman. No matter what you do for a woman like this, it will never be enough (Matthew 11:17). In 2 Timothy 3:1-4, we are warned about people who are “lovers of self,” “ungrateful,” and “unappeasable.” Do you know what Paul said about such people? He said, “Avoid such people” (2 Timothy 3:5).

Now if you’re already married to a woman like this, I’m not saying you should leave her. Rather, I’m talking to single men here. Avoid women like this! The best way to solve these types of marriage issues is to not marry someone with this type of character defects.

If people lack an inner happiness, you will waste your life trying to make them happy. It’s like pouring water into a barrel full of holes. Proverbs 27:15-16 (NLT) says, “A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.”

Point 7: Worldly Women Think They Are the Leader. Godly Women Want a Man Who Is the Leader

She views herself as the project manager and he’s the worker. Since there’s problems, she needs him to do more and he agrees.

I think one core issue here is that she thinks she’s leading. In reality, though, the reason she has such a huge “mental load,” as she refers to it, is because she’s not supposed to be leading anyways.

Remember, when Satan tempted Adam and Eve, he did so by getting Eve to lead Adam into sin. Adam’s sin was passivity (Genesis 3:6). The woman may act like the leader and the man may let the woman lead, but God will always judge them according to the roles he’s designed them to have. When God confronted Adam and Eve, he confronted Adam first, not Eve. Satan treated Eve as the leader, God treated Adam as the leader (Ephesians 5:22-25).

Point 8: Worldly Women Will Think They Know Why a Man Does What He Does. Godly Women Will Judge a Man By What He Does

She’s standing in her beautifully update kitchen. She looks in her dishwasher, a modern convenience so she doesn’t have to wash everything by hand. She grabs her smartphone which has a monthly bill that has been paid. Her child is healthy and her son is off to work. However, her son’s bottle is dirty. She then texts her husband, “What happened?”

What happened is that she has lost her grip on reality. She has attached all kinds of terrible motives onto this lack of an action of her husbands.

This is what toxic people do. They don’t judge the outward. They judge the inside. They look at an action and assume your intentions were to harm. Only God can know the motives of the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

When someone thinks they are God, they start thinking they know your heart.

Point 9: Worldly Women Take on the Values of the Culture Around Them. Godly Women Obey the Values Outlined in Scripture

“Everything happens in our home because I ask him to do it.” She just said she asks him to do everything in their home.

The real issue here is her value on her career over her family. That’s the heart of the issue. She’s swallowed the cultural lie that women can only be happy if they have it all, the career, the marriage, the kids, the social life, everything! She’s upset because her work is getting in the way of her role in the home.

Men, if you marry a woman who has this view, there is no hope for you. The only solution here is to marry a woman who wants to be a woman. This man is reaping what he sowed. He knew who he was marrying. Learn from his mistakes.

Only marry a woman who loves that she is a woman and that you are a man and that God made you both to play roles that complement each other, not duplicate each other. When the man and woman are both trying to focus on the same exact things, something always gets neglected.

The Proverbs 31:11 says of a godly wife, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” She’s supporting him as he sacrifices for her.

Point 10: Worldly Women Are Stuck Living Under the Curse. Godly Women Have Been Set Free in Christ and Can Embrace God’s Original Design for Men and Women

There you have it. She said she never wanted to play the role of a traditional wife and mom. So really the husband here is reaping what he sowed.

You have two options. You can marry a woman who can be happy being a mom and wife or you can marry an unhappy woman who wants to be something else. Whatever you give this second type of woman, it will never be enough because she is walking outside of God’s design for her.

A woman like this is living under the curse caused by Adam and Eve’s sin, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). Sin causes a battle in the home for control. A sinful woman responds to sinful men by trying to rule them.

Christ solves this issue by freeing us from the curse and allowing us to operate as God designed us to operate before sin came into the picture. Only a Christian woman who embraces the gospel can be happy to be the woman God made her to be.

Point 11: Worldly Women Nag. Godly Women Encourage

I think the energy of this woman can be really felt in this clip. To me, I really feel the “nagging wife” energy really strongly. She’s machine-gun-complaining, like the unstoppable dripping of complaints mentioned of the quarrelsome wife in Proverbs 25:15-16.

Notice how she mocks a man’s hobbies. It’s fine if she feels her husband needs to do them less or if she would like more time for her own hobbies. You can have a reasonable, adult conversation about that. But she resorts to mocking and minimizing the man’s hobbies. She seems to resent the way men are.

The verse that comes to mind is Proverbs 25:24, (NLT), “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.”

Point 12: Worldly Women Look to a Man to Make Them Happy. A Godly Woman Is Joyful in the Lord and Thus Free to Enjoy a Good but Imperfect Man

The last line really exposes the worst type of paradigm to live in, “Other people need to change for me to be happy.”

You are the most important person in controlling how you feel. Yes, work on issues that you both can change together. But for you to think you have to change your partner for you to be happy in life is to guarantee you will never be happy in life.

Never marry a woman who thinks you can be the primary source of her happiness. Yes, compromise. You will need to listen to her needs. Change in the ways you can. Make sacrifices. Repent when you sin.

However, if a woman isn’t joyful in the Lord first and foremost (Philippians 4:4), you will never be able to make her happy. She will see you as the problem and divorce as the solution unless you do exactly what she wants.