3 Biblical Ways to Engage the Opposite Sex in Great Conversation

To get into a godly relationship, you first need to talk to someone from the opposite sex. You’ll never build a connection with someone that will grow strong enough to start dating if you are not able to have meaningful conversations with them.

While the Bible certainly doesn’t have a passage that directly teaches us how to talk to the opposite sex, there are some themes and patterns we can see that can help you in this area. So here are 3 Biblical ways to engage the opposite sex in a great conversation.

Also, today is the last day to enroll in AGW University if you want the current 5 course bundle at the reduced tuition cost. If you want biblical advice on how to prepare your heart for marriage, how to identity the right person, and how to best interact with the opposite sex, click here to learn more!

1. To Have a Meaningful Conversation with the Opposite Sex, You Must Pursue the Things that Give You Meaning

I believe the best way to have a great connection with someone is not by trying to connect with this person at any cost; rather, it’s better to find someone where the connection is very natural and easy. In other words, to have a great conversation with the opposite sex, it’s less about adapting yourself and more about finding someone who is a good fit for you.

Conversations are natural and flow easily when two similar people find each other and realize what they have in common. In C.S. Lewis’ book The Four Loves he states:

Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

So rather than looking at someone random and then wanting to have a conversation with them, it’s best to spend your time pursuing those things that you are passionate about, and then be open and engaging with the people who are also there pursuing that similar passion.

A biblical example of this principle can be seen when Jacob met Rachel. He was at the well talking to other shepherds, and then Rachel came because she was a shepherdess (Genesis 29:9). Later on, we see that Jacob managed Rachel’s father’s sheep and was gifted in this area (Genesis 30:25-43). It’s certainly reasonable to assume that Jacob and Rachel often talked about sheep since they both worked in that field and made their livelihood from it.

Without a common bond that goes beyond just finding each other attractive, it’s very difficult to have a good conversation.

2. To Have a Meaningful Conversation with Someone from the Opposite Sex, Ask a Question About the Environment You Both Are In

Asking a question about your environment is helpful because it’s not totally random. Remember, relationships are always built on having things in common. If you just met someone and you don’t know what you have in common, you know for certain that you are both currently standing in the same environment. So start there.

In John 4:6-7, I think Jesus does this a bit when talking to the Samaritan woman, “Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink.’” If you were to keep reading in John 4, you would see that Jesus ends up having a very in-depth conversation with this woman. But he started with the water. It was hot, there was a well there, and to start interacting with her, Jesus started with their shared environment.

So after you introduce yourself to someone you don’t know, ask open-ended questions about the place you both are currently at.

• Don’t just ask, “How long have you been going to this church?” Rather, you can ask, “Hey, I’m new here. What are some ways you’ve gotten involved at this church? Where is a good place to start in your opinion?”
• Don’t just ask, “What’s your name?” Rather, you can say, “Hi, my name is Adam. I saw that you were helping at the small groups table. Can you tell me which group you think would be a good fit for me?” And then you two can talk about where you live, what you’re looking to study, etc.

3. To Have a Great Conversation with Someone from the Opposite Sex, Use Clear Verbal Affirmation and Don’t Hide Your Interest Too Much

The reason you can easily talk to someone you don’t like is because you are being honest about your feelings in how you are talking to them. You are not sending them vibes that you like them because you honestly don’t like them. You are being casual because you honestly want to keep it casual. Likewise, you will find it a lot easier to talk to the person you do like once you stop trying to hide that you like them.

Many Christians find it hard to talk to the person they like because they want it to seem like they don’t like them. They are trying to hide the truth. This is a mistake. In John 8:32 Jesus said, “. . . the truth will set you free.” Obviously Jesus is talking about the truth of the gospel setting you free from sin. But the principle remains. When you are no longer afraid of sharing your true feelings about someone, this will free you to talk more easily with them.

I’m not saying you should go up to someone and profess your love. I’m just saying that if you like someone, it’s actually good if they sense this about you. Otherwise nothing will ever happen. Oftentimes both people are expecting the other person to crack first. It’s a lot easier if both are just honest (Luke 6:31). If it makes you happy to talk to this person, show it!

If you are a man, yes, it will be obvious that you like her if you talk to her more than anyone else in the group. But that’s not a bad thing if you want to be with her one day; eventually you need to go for it. If you are a woman, you should show enthusiasm and happiness when the guy talks to you that you like. If you ever want him to actually pursue you one day, it’s good if he senses you are interested

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, the deadline to enroll in AGW University will close tonight at 11:59pm.

I’m not promising you lavish blessings if you enroll in these courses. However, what I can promise you is that if you are in a season of life where you are prepared to work hard and truly study what the word of God says about relationships, you will grow immensely by enrolling in AGW University.

And while I would never claim to have a secret marriage formula, I have created a wise blueprint that you can follow to increase your chances of meeting the one God might have for you.

I believe so much in the biblical information packed into these courses that I offer a 14-day money back guarantee for anyone not fully satisfied with their experience, no questions asked.

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