3 Signs God Is Saying, “Let Them Stab You in the Back”

Here are 3 signs God may be saying, “Let them stab you in the back.”

1. If You Need to Let Someone Be Tested Before You Will Know if You Can Trust Them, God May Be Saying, “Let Them Stab You in the Back”

Carl was crazy for Amanda. There was just one problem. He feared that if he let her have too much freedom without him present, she would meet someone else and move on. Carl didn’t want Amanda spending time with her girlfriends where she might meet another man. He didn’t want her going to church events without him. And he just couldn’t understand why Amanda was still social media friends with her ex-boyfriend.

Finally, exasperated, Carl went to his pastor and asked for advice. His pastor then said, “Carl, would you really want to be with a woman who you can’t trust? If my wife ever wanted to cheat on me, she easily could. I’m not going to spend my life stalking her. I trust her. We love each other. If you want a healthy marriage one day, you have to let Amanda pass or fail the tests. Otherwise, you’ll never know if she’s trustworthy.”

Carl finally relaxed. His pastor’s words made total sense to him. He realized he couldn’t control other people. Therefore, he let Amanda have her space.

One principle you will see throughout Scripture is that we cannot make other people obey Scriptures (Joshua 24:15). All we can do is obey the word of God ourselves.

Rather than try to control someone and make them the person we want them to be, we must release control so we can see what type of person they actually are. Only when you choose to trust someone can you discover if they are actually trustworthy.

2. If Don’t Want to Waste Time with the Wrong Person, God May Be Saying, “Let Them Stab You in the Back”

Carl stopped putting up a fight when Amanda wanted to go out for a “girls’ night.” He simply said, “I think that’s great. Go have some fun.” And while he still thought it was odd that she was social media friends with her ex-boyfriend, he tried to give her the benefit of the doubt that she was just being nice and trying to be friendly rather than create drama by unfriending him.

However, after a few months of releasing control and letting Amanda do whatever she wanted without putting up a fight about, Carl’s worse concerns were confirmed. In time, it became clear that Amanda was actually not trustworthy. She did meet up with her ex-boyfriend and lied about it. Carl only found out through a mutual friend. Amanda claimed they were just friends, but Carl had heard enough. He broke up with her and moved on.

Instead of being devasted, Carl was relieved. He now clearly knew Amanda was not the one for him.

The truth is, if you want to know if someone is trustworthy, you have to be vulnerable enough for them to betray you. Some of us are so guarded that we can never know if someone is trustworthy because we never given them the chance to be trusted.

But look at how Jesus treated Judas. Jesus didn’t try control Judas. He simply said to him, “What you are about to do, do quickly” (John 13:27, NIV).

Life’s too short to try stop people who want to be betray you. Let them. Besides, no matter how hard you try to stop, if they want to, they will eventually find a way to betray you. It’s better to know the truth by letting them make their own choices rather than delaying the inevitable.

3. If You Need to Let Someone Choose You, God May Be Saying, “Let Them Stab You in the Back”

It took Carl a few months to heal from Amanda’s betrayal. Soon, however, he was ready to try again. That’s when he met Elizabeth. Carl really liked her, but he wasn’t sure if she really liked him. Elizabeth was the kind of woman who was friends with everyone. While she talked a lot to Carl, she also talked a lot to everyone, including other single guys in the church.

Finally, Carly just went for it. He asked Elizabeth on a date. She said yes. After a few more dates, Carl asked her to be his girlfriend. She said yes to that too. However, Elizabeth was still super social. But instead of getting controlling again like he did at first with Amanda, Carl just let things play out naturally.

One time, however, Elizabeth told him a guy from church was texting and calling her. She said he was just a friend. But Carl was honest and said he didn’t like this. He didn’t want to be with a woman who had a bunch of close guy friends. Elizabeth understood. She was so social, she hadn’t realized that she needed to change now that she had a boyfriend.

But that’s all Carl said. He simply observed her choices. He wasn’t going to control her. If she kept interacting with guys like she did when she was single, Carl knew he would have to move on. So he waited.

After that one conversation, however, Elizabeth did change. She told that guy from church she couldn’t talk to him anymore since she had a boyfriend. And she stopped putting herself in situations where she was alone with other single guys. Elizabeth would always be super social, but she now clearly had different boundaries with men now that she was with Carl.

And now Carl knew Elizabeth was the type of woman he wanted to be with. But without giving her the chance to stab him in the back, he never would have known (Matthew 7:17-20).

Here’s a related article called 4 Signs God Is Telling You to Stop Giving Someone Attention.