Here are 3 signs that God is telling you to create more boundaries with someone in your life.
1. If Someone Is Trying to Take Away the Authority God Has Give You Over Your Own Life, This Is a Sign God Wants You to Enforce Boundaries with This Person
Authority is a big deal to God. When I say God has give you authority over your own life, what I mean is that God has given you the primary responsibility for using your life for his glory. God is not going to judge someone else for how we live our lives. Just as in the parable where Jesus told us about the master who gave his three servants the talents in Matthew 25:14-30 and then judged them each according to what they did with his money, God will judge each of us with how we used the life he gave us.
This is why it is so dangerous for us to let other people try to control us. While it is sinful for others to try to impose their rule on us if they do not rightfully have that authority in our lives, it is also our responsibility as adults to set up boundaries with people like this so they cannot take away our personal freedoms that God has given to us.
So if a parent, a pastor, or even a well meaning friend is overstepping their boundaries by imposing their own will in your life, this is a sign God wants you to confront this issue and take back the control of your life that is rightfully yours.
2. If Someone Is Continually Attacking Your Beliefs in God, Either Passively or Openly, This Is a Sign God Wants You to Put Up Healthy Boundaries with This Person
The more valuable something is, the more protective we should be of it. Our relationship with God should be the most treasured possession we have, and at the core of our relationship with God is our beliefs about God. As A.W. Tozer said, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” This is why Psalm 1:1-2 states:
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.”
Christians should be willing to engage in theological conversations with people who truly want to know what we believe. But we are not called to waste our time arguing with people who just want to fight and use hurtful verbal attacks (2 Timothy 2:23-24). If someone in your life is demeaning you for your beliefs about Jesus and trying to shame you because you love God, you are not required to keep that person in your life.
Sometimes, however, you don’t need to completely remove someone like this from your life; but you will need to set up new boundaries for people like this so they know you will not tolerate these types of evil attacks.
3. If Someone Is Causing Unnecessary Temptation in Your Life, This Is a Sign God Wants You to Put Up Stronger Boundaries with This Person
There will always be temptation in this world no matter how much we try to avoid it. So God does not tell us to avoid every single person who might tempt us because that would literally be everyone. However, God does give us a special warning to avoid people who claim to be a Christian but live in sin. In 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 Paul states:
I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. ‘Purge the evil person from among you.’”
Why does Paul place a higher emphasis on avoiding Christians who are living in sin and not repenting? Because Paul is already assuming that the church will not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). We are allowed to “associate” with the world as a means of being a light to them, but we are not supposed to let them gain any influence in our lives.
So it is easier for us to let our guards down around people who claim to be a Christians, but many people who go to church and claim to love God still actively live in sin and don’t repent. Paul is not telling us to only associate with perfect Christians. But he is telling us not to associate with Christians who are continually living in sin because they will be a temptation to us and drag us down with them. Removing people like this from our lives is actually meant to be a form of loving discipline for them as well.
Therefore, if someone is bringing unnecessary temptation into your life, whether they claim to be a Christian or not, God tells us to set up healthy boundaries with these people so we are not negatively influenced.