4 Answers from God When You Ask, “Why Did that Person Leave?”

Psalm 144:1

It always hurts when someone loses interest. If you were in a relationship with someone who ended it even though you wanted to continue, the pain can be overwhelming.

But the pain is even greater when you don’t know why someone lost interest in you or left you. It can feel as though you can’t move on until you find the answer to the question, “Why? Why did this person leave me?”

Only God truly knows. But if you seek him about this, sometimes he will tell you. Therefore, here are four possible answers God may give you when you ask him, “Why did that person lose interest and leave me?”

1. Because They Weren’t Who They Portrayed Themselves to Be

Most people wear masks. They hide who they really are because they too have been hurt in the past. Thus, they fear showing others who they really are because it hurts a lot more when you show someone your true self and then they still reject you.

And so, it’s possible that this person never showed you who they really were. All you saw was their mask. Maybe they tried to pretend to be a mature Christian, someone who was ready for a relationship, or someone who was willing to be faithful to one person. Perhaps they left you because they knew they could not keep pretending to be someone they really weren’t.

In Luke 16:1-13, Jesus tells us a parable about a rich man who had a deceitful manager. For a while, the manager pretended to be honest, but over time the rich man saw through the deceitful manager’s mask. In Luke 16:8, Jesus then said, “For the sons of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than the sons of light.”

Jesus isn’t telling us to be dishonest, but he is telling us to use our wits, to be discerning, and to not view everything at the surface level because this world is not full of honest people.

2. Because They Imagined You Were Someone You Could Never Be

The other side of the same sinful coin are those who imagine you to be someone you are not because they are going to you for something they should be going to God for. In other words, the world is always longing for God. And because they refuse to come to him through Jesus, they turn to idols instead to help ease the pain.

If someone did not come to you with pure motives rooted in pleasing the Lord, eventually they will realize you are not the perfect idol they imagined you to be. While it can sting when they leave you once they realize you are not the answer to all their problems, it’s actually a blessing that they learned this about you sooner rather than later.

As Jesus said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). If someone doesn’t come to Jesus, they will remain tired and stressed. They will then lash out at you once they realize you can’t help them even though they once thought you were the one who could finally fill them.

3. Because God’s Purpose for that Person in Your Life Was Over

Some relationships were simply not destined by God to last because he brought you two together for a different reason than you thought.

Maybe you thought God brought this person into your life because you two were going to get married one day. But perhaps God brought them into your life because he used the relationship to draw out issues in both of your hearts that needed to be healed before he could give you both your future spouses.

Or maybe God needed to teach you how to be bold and not passive. So he gave you relationship practice with this person that he will then use later on when you need to be proactive to meet, date, and marry the person he does have for you.

As Psalm 144:1 states, “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle . . . .” Training is rarely easy. When God knows the battles ahead, in love, he will prepare you for it, no matter how difficult that preparation may be.

4. Because God Was Protecting You and Is Preparing You for the Person Who Won’t Leave You

A person’s rejection is often God’s protection. You may never know all the pain God spared you from by allowing that person to lose interest in you. When God closes a door, you can be sure you don’t want what is behind that door.

As Jesus said, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11). If God didn’t give it to you, you can be confident that he knew it would not be good for you.

One day, you will thank God for ending this relationship because you will be with the person he has planned for you.

Related Article: 4 Reasons God Is Allowing Your Heart to Hurt So Bad About Someone