Proverbs 7:18-23
Here are 5 signs that usually mean a woman is a temptress.
1. Posting Subtle (or Not So Subtle) Provocative Poses on Social Media
Social media is not good or bad. Rather, it’s a tool that is used in both good and bad ways. What you post is simply a reflection of what you value. This can be very useful information when you’re first getting to know someone.
If a woman has loads of pictures of herself posing in provocative ways on her social media pages, this usually means she’s a temptress. What are provocative poses? Here’s a few examples:
- Puckered lips. This pose resembles kissing, which is clearly an act performed during sexual experiences.
- Bikini poses. I’m not sure why bras and underwear are socially unacceptable attire in public but bikinis are socially acceptable. If a woman is posting herself in her bathing suit while acting like she’s just excited to show her new bathing suit, she knows what she’s doing. There’s no point to put this online for the world to see other than getting attention for showing off your body.
- Poses that highlight her butt or breasts. If the butt or breasts are clearly popped out, being touched with the hands, or focused on in an unnatural way, she knows what she’s doing.
As Luke 17:1 states, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come!”
2. Immodest Clothing Choices that Purposely Draw the Eye to Sexually Arousing Areas of the Body
It’s your fault if you lust after a woman (James 1:14-15). Even if a woman is wearing inappropriate clothing, it’s always your choice to either turn away or to keep looking with lust.
While I think Christian women should consider the effect their bodies have on men, I don’t believe a man’s struggle with lust should be the primary reasons a woman should seek to dress modestly.
The main reason I believe women should dress modestly is because our clothing choices reflect the condition of our hearts. What we wear says something about us. If she knows her worth and that she has an inner beauty rooted in Christ, that is going to govern how she presents herself externally (1 Peter 3:3-6).
For example, if I’m wearing a Rolex watch, designer jeans that cost $200, $500 shoes, and a plain tee-shirt that cost $100 dollars even though it’s no different than a $5 cotton shirt, that is a clear sign I love money and I want other people to know that I have money. The same is true of women who wear clothes that are designed to draw the eyes to the breasts and butt.
A woman can’t hide the outline of her butt and breasts, nor should she try. I’m not advocating Muslim garb for women. I’m not saying she should be ashamed of her physical beauty. God made women beautiful to men and this should be celebrated, not feared.
But there is a clear unholy intent when a woman wears a v-cut shirt that exposes cleavage or shorts so small that you can see the bottom of the butt cheeks. These clothing choices reveal something about the condition of her heart. They mean she wants male attention and she’s willing to use her body to get it. As 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (NIV) states:
I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”
3. If She’s in a Relationship with Someone Else but Flirts with You or Is Working on Starting a Relationship with You
It might feel good for her to choose you over the man she’s with. Just know, her lack of loyalty to this man reflects her own character. As Proverbs 7:18-23 states of the temptress:
‘Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home.’ With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.”
If a woman is dating another man, if she was an honorable woman she would breakup with that man before trying to start something with you. If you get into a relationship with a woman like this, it’s highly likely she will treat you just like she treated the last guy.
4. If She’s Using Her Influence Over You to Get Something from You
A temptress isn’t always motivated by sexual pleasure herself. She may be tempting you for that reason, but she may know you are weak in that area and thus she might just be trying to exploit your weakness for her own gain.
As Samson’s enemies said to Delilah, “Seduce him, and see where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to humble him. And we will each give you 1,100 pieces of silver” (Judges 16:5). It wasn’t about sex for her. It was about money.
5. If She Wants to Have Sexual Experiences Before Marriage
The simplest way to spot a temptress is to take note of any woman who wants to have sexual experiences before marriage. According to Scripture, all sexual experiences that take place outside of the covenant bond of marriage are sin (1 Corinthians 7:1-9).
