I recently wrote an article called 4 Biblical Marks that Mean a Woman Will Be a Curse Rather than a Blessing to You.
Today we will discuss the other side to this topic. Here are 4 biblical marks that mean a man will be a curse rather than a blessing.
1. If a Man Thinks His Leadership Role Means You Are Meant to Serve Him, He Will Be a Curse to You
When it comes to the roles within a marriage and the church, the Bible is very clear that men are called to lead. However, if you’re going to follow biblical commands properly, you have to obey all of the Bible and place each command in its proper context.
Abuse occurs when people take what the Bible says about a man leading while then applying their worldly, unbiblical views about leadership. Yes, God commands a wife to submit to her husband as the husband leads the wife (Ephesians 5:24). But the Bible states that a true leader is the first servant. In Mark 10:42-45, Jesus said:
You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
If a man is serving a woman like this, it would be completely inappropriate for her to respond with anything but appreciation and respect. When the wives are told to submit to their husbands, Paul tells the husbands to die for their wives. Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . .”
It’s not offensive for women to be told to submit to their husbands when men are told to die for their wives. It’s only offensive for a woman to be told to submit when a man is not told to die for his wife.
If a man thinks he is entitled to your submission without his sacrificial love (Colossians 3:18-19), he will be a curse to you (Genesis 3:16).
2. If You Only Like Him Because He’s Going to Be a Good Financial Provider and Social Status Builder, This Man Will Be a Curse to You
A woman should assess a man’s earning capabilities. In marriage, she is the one who is going to be financially vulnerable during pregnancy and childrearing years, particularly when the children are still breastfeeding and young. Even if she wants to work and be a mom, she will never get those career years back that she dedicated to childbirth and childrearing.
Additionally, God has called a man to take responsibility for the provisional aspects of the home (Ephesians 5:29). It’s the wife’s responsibility too since they are a team, but this is an area where the man should be leading. So again, a woman should assess a man’s readiness in this area to make sure he is prepared to lead as a husband and father should.
The problem occurs when a woman overvalues a man’s earning capabilities and undervalues the character needed to be a godly man. No matter how much money a man makes, no matter how good he makes you look in front of your friends, you will always end up in a miserable marriage if you choose a man who has low integrity.
Proverbs 28:6, “Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.”
3. If He’s Afraid of Displeasing You Even When You Need Him to Stand Up to You, He Will Be a Curse to You
One of the hardest parts about a healthy marriage is also one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage. Both the husband and wife are equally imperfect. Thus, we all will need our spouses to lovingly confront us when we are in error and not repenting. This should be done with gentleness and respect (Galatians 6:1), but it will always be needed at some point when you are in a long-term relationship of any kind.
Unfortunately, many men today have been emasculated by radical feminists. They have been force-fed the lie, “Happy wife, happy life.” As a woman, you may think you want a man who will always let you win every argument and who will always bend to your will if you push him hard enough. But in truth, you will never be able to respect a man like this. And if you can’t respect him as a man, your marriage has no chance of being healthy.
Thus, you need a man who isn’t afraid of rocking the boat sometimes when it’s needed. Of course you don’t want to marry a guy who is just contentious for no reason and loves to argue just to feel like the winner. But you do want to marry a guy who isn’t going to let you flatten him like pancake when you’re emotions are running wild and you need a loving reality check.
Again, this will be mutual. Sometimes he will need a loving reality check on how he’s behaving too. But nowadays, women are encouraged to speak up when there’s a problem while many men have been taught that it’s sexist for them to ever confront a woman who needs correction.
4. If He Doesn’t Believe in the Scripture’s Authority, He Will Be a Curse to You
You are sinful and your future husband will be sinful. You will struggle to treat him right when he mistreats you and he will struggle to treat you right when you mistreat him. Thus, you both must have a greater reason to love and respect (Ephesians 5:33) each other besides personal merit.
In other words, look for a man who wants to respect you not only because he thinks your worthy of it but also because he knows this is what the Bible commands a husband to do. Just as you must love your husband even when he’s acting sinfully, your husband must still choose to love you even when you don’t deserve it.
If you two do not both submit to Scripture’s authority over your lives and you simply treat each other how you feel in the moment, in time, you will become a curse to each other. Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Related Article: 4 Biblical Marks that a Woman Will Be a Curse Rather than a Blessing
