4 Biblical Ways to Find a Man Who Wants to Resist Premarital Sex with You

One of the most common complaints I get in the comments section from Christian single women looking for a godly man is that it’s very hard to find a guy who want to resist premarital sex. Most guys, including the ones who claim they are Christian, are unwilling to wait until marriage to have sex.

So in this article, I will give women 4 ways to find a man who wants to live a sexually pure life. The first two tips are going to be preventive, and the last two tips will be more proactive.

1. Don’t Live a Sexually Permissive Lifestyle in Your 20s If You Want to Marry a Man Who Will Resist Premarital Sex with You

If you are passed your 20s, just hang in there for a minute or two. I will be giving you tips too! All is not hopeless if you’ve already lived a sexually sinful lifestyle but now you want to change.

However, I do feel the need to start here because our actions do have consequences (Galatians 6:7). One of the reasons so many Christian women are having a hard time finding a guy who will wait to have sex until marriage is because these women got mixed up with the wrong guys earlier in life.

The fact is, men who are willing to wait to have sex are also the men who are more motivated to get married young (Proverbs 5:18). The longer you wait to get your own heart to a place where you are willing to wait to have sex, the harder it will be to find a man who has these same values.

So step one is to start early if you want this type of guy.

2. Hold Yourself to the Values You Want in a Man and Reject Every Guy that Does Not Hold Your Values About Waiting to Have Sex Until Marriage

Whatever you want in a man, you must first require of yourself (Matthew 7:1-5).

The fact is, many women (not all, but many) who say they want a godly man who will wait to have sex until marriage also give into the pressures and temptations of those guys who are not willing to wait. After the relationship goes south, they then complain about how there are no men who will wait to have sex. And then, in loneliness, they eventually give in again and go with the next guy who also doesn’t want to wait to have sex. That relationship ends, she complains about there being no good guys, she meets another guy when she is lonely, and the whole cycle keeps repeating itself.

To stop this cycle, a woman has to be willing to be lonely for longer than she wants. You have to get to that place where you are willing to be alone rather than given in just so you can have someone. You have to push past the despair where you feel like you are going to be alone forever. The only way to meet a man who actually has Christian values is to be consistent and not waste your time with the wrong guys.

Again, many women will say, “Mark, I’m doing that.” However, they are often only doing this for months or a year at a time. They then have moments of giving in every now and then, sleeping with some dude, and then remembering why they want a godly man. You can’t do this if you want a godly man.

Galatians 6:9, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Like I said in the intro, the first two points are more preventative and what not to do. Now let’s talk about two proactive things you can do to meet a guy who values sexual purity.

3. Project Biblical Values in All Areas of Your Life if You Want a Man with Biblical Values with His Sexuality

Resisting premarital sex is an odd thing to do for those who are in the world (Ephesians 2:1-3, Galatians 5:19-21). If someone is generally worldly, there is zero chance they will want to resist sexual sin before marriage.

So you can’t pick and choose with your own values if you want a man who is willing to resist sexual temptation. The only men who will live biblically with their sexuality are the men who are seeking to live biblically in all areas of their life. And the man who is looking to live biblically in all areas of his life is going to want a woman who is seeking to do the same.

Therefore, you have to root out all worldliness if you want to be desirable to the type of man who wants to resist premarital sex. These are the types of guys who might seem too religious to you, too out there, too extreme. But to the world, your demand that a man not have sex with you before marriage is extreme. So yes, you need an extremely Christian man.

A man like this will have traditional beliefs about the roles of men and women, he will have traditional beliefs about entertainment, and he will have traditional hopes and dreams for a family.

Put simply, you can’t have one foot in the world and one foot in the church if you want to attract a man who will resist sexual temptation (James 4:4).

4. Stop Waiting to Be Found and Find the Man You Want to Pursue You

If you’re looking for a needle in a haystack, you better bring your metal detector.

In other words, you need to be more proactive if you are highly selective. I’m not saying you should pursue a man, ask him out on a date, or that you have to join an online dating app.

My point here is that you need to be out there (Ecclesiastes 11:6). A man cannot pursue the woman he cannot see.

If you have the energy for online dating, go for it. Go on a lot of dates, reject men quickly when they don’t have the qualities you are looking for, and be highly selective. If you don’t want to online date, make sure you are living a social and vibrant lifestyle amongst other Christians.

It’s unlikely you are going to meet this godly man somewhere random like the gym or the grocery store. You will probably meet this godly man in a godly place, like church.

Perhaps you’re now asking, “Mark, besides church, where can I meet Christian men?” I give you 4 specific answers to that question in this article right here: 4 Biblical Ways to Meet Christian Single Men (Besides Church).