4 Fears God Will Make You Overcome Before Letting You Get Married

There are certainly times where God will lead two Christians to get married even when they still have unhealthy fears in their lives. You don’t need to be perfect to get married. God often uses our relationship with our spouse to further our sanctification.

At times, however, there are fears that directly block you from marriage. Therefore, here are 4 fears God will usually make you overcome before letting you get married.

God Usually Makes You Overcome the Fear of Being Alone Before Letting You Get Married

The fear of being alone can poison your efforts in meeting the right person God wants you with one day. Why?

For one, when you fear being alone, you are more prone to getting into unhealthy relationships and staying in those relationships even when you know it’s not good for you. You may reason, “Well, I know this is not God’s will, but at least I’m not alone. I will get out of this relationship once I meet someone better.”

This creates many issues. For one, you are training yourself to be in relationships with people while also having an eye out for better relationships. You don’t want to get into the habit of thinking the grass is always greener somewhere else. This could come back to haunt you once you are married.

Additionally, when you are with the wrong person, you are not only wasting time but you are also keeping others away from you. People who would have pursued something more with you will spend their time and energy elsewhere when they know you are with someone else.

Lastly, when you are afraid of being alone, even when you are in a good relationship, this can cause you to put too much pressure on the relationship. The other person will feel used by you, as though they are a solution to your internal fears rather than a person you really want to be in a relationship with.

The solution to the fear of being alone is to get so secure in God, you know you could still live a joyful life even if you never got married (Philippians 4:4). When you are secure in singleness because God is your main source of comfort, this is a great sign you are ready for marriage.

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

God Usually Makes You Overcome Your Fear of What the Opposite Sex Thinks of You Before Letting You Get Married

When you are fearful of what a man or woman thinks of you, usually this means you are idolizing them. We go to idols to make us feel valuable and validated. A man may say, “If this woman likes me, it will mean I’m a strong man.” A woman may say, “If this man likes me, it will mean I’m a beautiful woman.”

Not only does this rob you of the validation your heavenly Father wants to give you, this will hurt your chances of being in a healthy relationship because your desire to be liked will put so much pressure on you to be perfect, you will oftentimes get paralyzed in fear. Rather than being rejected or perceived in a negative light, many times we would rather the person not think of us at all.

Therefore, you have to overcome the fear of people’s perception of you. As a Christin, remember the mindset Galatians 1:10 provides us with, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

God Usually Makes You Overcome Your Fear of Getting Hurt in a Serious Relationship Before Letting You Get Married

To be in a relationship, you will always have to risk. You will have to risk rejection, risk being seen in an unflattering way, and risk your hopes not coming true. The solution, therefore, cannot be to remove all the risk. Rather, you will have to learn how to deal with the risk and be okay even if the worst occurs.

Even if you do get rejected or this person does think something negative about you, you don’t have to be devasted by this when God is Lord of your life. It will hurt, it will be undesirable, and I’m not saying you will ever like the feeling when things don’t work out. But you can get to a place in your heart where you are not devasted and overwhelmed because your value system is biblical – God over all. (Matthew 10:28).

God Usually Makes You Overcome Your Fear of Him Not Giving You Want You Want

Perhaps the biggest fear Christians have when they desire to be married is, “What if it’s not God’s will for me to be married? What if God wants me single?”

This is a good question to ask. You should get to that place in your heart where you would obey the Lord even if he told you to remain single but you wanted to be married. However, it’s also true that the biblical desires you have are from God.

Therefore, if you want to be married, you don’t have to wonder if God is mad about this or disappointed with you. Remember, God made marriage (Genesis 2:18) and he’s the one who gives people the desire to be married (1 Corinthians 7:7).

While you must not idolize your desire for marriage, you must also not forsake it. Trust that whatever happens, God desires the best for you. Before he will bless you with marriage, he first wants you to know he’s the one who will give you a spouse so that you glorify him for this blessing (Proverbs 18:22, Genesis 24:14, 1 Peter 3:7).

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