How can you tell if God is trying to warn you that you are actually in a toxic relationship? What signs will be present if God is telling you that this person is not marriage material for you? And how can you know if this person just has some normal issues to work through or if this person is truly harmful to be in a relationship with?
Here are 4 signs that God is trying to protect you from marrying a toxic person.
If You Are Getting to Know Someone or Dating Them, But Then This Person Gets Triggered and Shows You Their Explosive Anger, God Is Trying to Protect You from a Toxic Relationship
When my wife and I first got married, one of our first big purchases was a used car. As we went to test drive a car from a private seller, it just so happened to be raining that day. About 5 minutes into the test drive, my wife started feeling water drip onto her head. Needless to say it was a short test drive.
But what if it had not been raining that day? We would never have known about that major flaw in this car. That is how problems in dating should often be viewed. While it might be shocking to see someone get triggered and explode in anger, you should be grateful this trial occurred because the Lord is revealing a major flaw in this person.
Don’t ignore explosive anger. We all get frustrated and moody at times, but if someone totally loses self-control this is a toxic person. As Proverbs 22:24-25 states, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”
If Your Friends and Family Feel Like This Person Is Treating You Poorly and Speaks Disrespectfully to You, This Is a Sign God Is Trying to Protect You from a Toxic Relationship
Sometimes we want a relationship to work so bad we are willing to overlook huge red flags, including harmful behavior from this person we are with. While you might be willing to be mistreated, those who love you will not stand for this.
Don’t ignore the concerns of your parents, your siblings, your pastors, or your close friends. If people who love you are seeing harmful, disrespectful behavior, this is a sign God is speaking to you through these people and trying to spare you of a toxic relationship. As Proverbs 11:14 teaches, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
If Someone Consistently Threatens to Leave You as a Way of Manipulating You Into Doing What They Want, This Is a Sign of a Toxic Relationship
Toxic people are marked by their obsession of getting their own way. They will do whatever is necessary to get you to do what they want. You are a possession to be used to them and not a person to be valued.
One sign someone sees you as a possession to manipulate is if they threaten to leave you whenever you do not do what they want. Perhaps they want premarital sex, money, or for you to just always submit to their wishes. Healthy relationships are all about communication and compromising. Healthy couples try to outdo one another in service.
So if someone continually threatens to leave you, you should let them go as this is a sign God is trying to protect your from a toxic relationship.
If This Person Does Actually Leave You and Then Tries to Make Your Life Miserable Now That You Are Broken Up, This Is a Sign that God Actually Spared You of a Toxic Relationship
If someone does leave you, one sign that this relationship was toxic is if they go out of their way to treat you poorly now that you are no longer together.
I certainly don’t believe you should be best friends with your ex, but two mature adults should not feel the need to be enemies after a breakup. But if your ex now slanders you on social media, spreads rumors about you among your friends, or purposely tries to harm you now that you are broken up, you should see their behavior as confirmation that God protected you from a toxic relationship.