If you’re a single Christian woman hoping for marriage one day, it’s natural to wonder if a man showing interest in you might be “the one.” But just because someone pursues you doesn’t mean they deserve your time, your energy, or your heart. The truth is, giving attention to the wrong man can delay or even prevent you from meeting the right one God has for you.
But how will you know when God is saying, “Don’t give that man any attention”? Here are four biblical signs.
1. If a Man Keeps Leading You On But Keeps Pushing Back His Commitment Timeline, This Is a Sign You Should Stop Giving Him Your Attention
Proverbs 3:27-28, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it’—when you have it with you.”
When a man says he wants to commit “someday” but always pushes back that day, he’s showing you that he lacks integrity and intentionality. He enjoys your presence, your encouragement, and perhaps even your affection. However, saying you want to commit is not the same thing as actually committing.
Proverbs 25:14 (NLT), “A person who promises a gift but doesn’t give it is like clouds and wind that bring no rain.” Marriage-minded men don’t keep a woman waiting indefinitely. If he’s serious about you, he will move toward clarity, not string you along with excuses. Everyone needs time to sort out their feelings. But a player will clearly state their feelings, and they clearly do not support those statements with actions. If you find yourself in a cycle of promises followed by delays, God is telling you to guard your heart.
Giving attention to a man who keeps delaying commitment is like standing at a bus stop where the bus never comes. You’ll waste valuable time waiting for something that isn’t arriving.
2. If He Plays with Your Heart By Using a Combination of Love-Bombing and Ghosting, This Is a Sign You Should Stop Giving Him Your Attention
Romans 12:9, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.”
If a man overwhelms you with affection one moment—texts, gifts, compliments—and then disappears the next, that is not real love. That’s manipulation. This cycle of love-bombing and ghosting keeps you emotionally off-balance, making you crave his attention even more.
God does not call you to accept counterfeit love. Real love reflects his nature, which is faithful, constant, and true. If a man’s affection feels like a roller coaster, don’t mistake it for passion. Just because he stirs your emotions does not mean this is a good thing. Sometimes a woman who has never experienced true love from a stable man interprets drama as devotion. It’s not. It’s immaturity and manipulation. A stable man isn’t going to try to mess with your mind. He will be honest and pursue you steadily.
Giving attention to a man who love-bombs and then ghosts is like trying to warm yourself by putting wet logs on a dying fire. It’s just a bad mix.
3. If He Only Prioritizes You When You Two Are Alone, This Is a Sign You Should Stop Giving Him Attention
1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
A man’s true character is revealed not only in how he treats you privately and not only in how he treats you publicly. Instead, a man with genuine love for you will be consistent regardless of who else is around, both in public and in private. If he values you only in private but keeps you hidden from his friends, family, or community, that is a dangerous sign. It means he enjoys you when it’s convenient but isn’t proud to stand beside you when it matters.
The man God has for you won’t be ashamed of you. He will honor you in public and in private. Don’t give your attention to a man who hides you. If he only expresses affection behind closed doors, it usually means he’s just using you.
Giving attention to a man who only values you in private is like being a lamp kept under a basket. You were meant to shine in the open, not be hidden away.
4. If You Are Less Happy with Yourself than When He Came Into Your Life, This Is a Sign You Should Stop Giving Him Attention
John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
A healthy relationship will make you feel more alive, more confident, and more secure in who God created you to be. But if a man’s presence leaves you doubting yourself, questioning your worth, or feeling drained, that is not from God.
The enemy often uses unhealthy relationships to steal joy, peace, and self-worth. But Jesus came to give you abundant life. If being with a man makes you feel smaller, sadder, or weaker, that’s a sign to step back and stop giving him your attention.
Giving attention to a man who makes you unhappy with yourself is like paying a critic to follow you around and put you down. By ignoring this man, he will leave you alone. You will then be adding happiness to your life by subtracting this man from your life.
