4 Signs God Is Warning You About a Selfish Person You Must Avoid

In 2 Timothy 3:1-5, Paul warns us that in the last days, people will be “loves of self.” He then clearly tells us to “Avoid such people.”

Now, to be biblically balanced here, all people have selfish tendencies at times (Romans 3:10-18). We must work to correct each other and forgive one another (Galatians 6:1, Ephesians 4:32). If we all avoid each other whenever we are selfish, we will all be alone eventually. So this command to avoid selfish people is really about avoiding those people who are not repenting and who are continually hurting you through their selfishness.

A truly selfish person can ruin your life. This is why the Bible is so clear in warning us about these dangerous people. Therefore, here are 4 biblical signs that mean God is warning you about a selfish person so you can avoid them and protect your heart.

1. God Is Warning You to Avoid a Selfish Person If They Are Constantly Changing the Rules to Suit Themself

Rules can certainly become legalistic and overbearing. But without any rules, everyone does their own thing, thus making it impossible to coexist and work together.

When a selfish person is present, they will get mad at the rules when the rules require them to treat others fairly. Selfish people can only see through their own perspective. If they aren’t first, if the rules aren’t serving them, they think the rules must be wrong. This leads to them constantly changing the rules whenever it benefits them.

For example, if your boyfriend gets mad at you because you didn’t text him to let him know what your plans were for the weekend, he will then justify why he didn’t need to text you about his plans for the weekend. Or if your girlfriend feels like you should always pay for dinner because you make more money, suddenly this rule will change even though you lost your job and she’s still working.

The point is, selfish people are marked by disorder and unruly behavior. As James 3:16-18 states:

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

2. Overconsumption Can Be a Sign God Is Warning You About a Selfish Person Who Needs to Be Avoided

As Christians, it’s very easy to view material blessings wrongly. On one hand, we can miss out on these blessings and be ungrateful to God for the good he wants us to enjoy (1 Timothy 6:17). On the other hand, the love of money will create all kinds of evil in our lives (1 Timothy 6:10).

One way you will know someone is selfish is when they overconsume the resources God has entrusted them to steward for their own benefit and for the benefit of others (1 Timothy 6:17-19). Are they gluttonous, making their god their belly (Philippians 3:19)? Are they building bigger barns, storing up treasures on earth rather than planning for eternity (Luke 12:16-21)? Are they always tearing others down while putting themself first (Romans 15:1-2)? These acts of overconsumption are really rooted in selfishness. As James 5:4-5 explains:

Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on the earth in luxury and in self-indulgence. You have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter.”

If they are not repenting of this selfishness, avoid them. Judgment is coming and you don’t want to be near them when it comes.

3. A Continual Lack in Someone’s Life Can Be a Sign They Are Selfish and Should Be Avoided

You would think that a selfish person would often have the most because they are always taking and never giving. Ironically, when someone is acting selfishly, God usually causes the opposite to occur in their life. Proverbs 11:24 says, “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.”

When a selfish person takes and never gives, all they are really doing is closing themself off from the Source of all blessings (Deuteronomy 8:18, James 1:17). Of course not all dept or lack is due to selfishness. This broken planet can create hard times for us even when we are generous and selfless. However, according to the Scriptures, when the debt is piling up, when they are always asking for more, when they never seem to have enough, this could be because they are living a selfish life and reaping what they sow (Galatians 6:7-9).

You can never outgive God. As Jesus said:

Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now on this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” (Mark 10:29-31)

4. God Is Warning You to Avoid a Selfish Person If You Are Always Emotionally Empty After Spending Time with Them

If you want to experience a healthy relationship with someone, you will have to sacrifice for them. However, you will also need them to sacrifice for you. You will need to give and you will need to receive. A truly selfish person, however, will only be willing to suck the life out of you rather than putting life into you. As Philippians 2:3-5 states:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus . . .”

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