5 Biblical Acts You Should Perform to Expose a Narcissist

While the Bible does not use the word narcissist, there are many principles in Scripture that directly relate to this important topic.

Therefore, if you have suspicions that someone is a narcissist, here are 5 biblical things you can do to gain more clarity in your growing concerns.

1. Praise This Person to See How They Handle It

Proverbs 27:21, “The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise.”

When you compliment them for something good they have done, how do they respond? Does it instantly go to their head? Do they fish for more and more compliments even though you’ve already praised them to a healthy level? Do they ask you to repeat your compliment in a public setting so more people can hear it? Do they get mad because they feel you didn’t praise them enough?

How someone handles praise says a lot about their character. If they can receive it with a grateful heart, thank you for it, give the glory back to God for the good he has done through them (1 Peter 4:10-11), and then move on without it inflating their ego, that is a good sign.

2. Offer Constructive Criticism to See How They Handle It

Proverbs 9:8, “Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.”

No one is perfect. We all have areas in life that we can improve. However, a narcissist will be unable to accept this simple reality. He or she will truly believe they are above the need for any constructive criticism.

If the pastor continues to misquote a verse and you kindly let him know the correct reference, a narcissistic pastor will put you on their enemy list for such a simple correction. If they take a wrong turn while driving and you let them know, a narcissist will pretend they meant to do that rather than just say, “Oops, let me turn around.” If they keep using the Lord’s name in vain and you and lovingly let them know that this is a sin in the Bible, they will lash out at you in pride.

Of course, we need to make sure we are being humble and gentle whenever we offer constructive criticism or a correction about a sin (Galatians 6:1). But no matter how you present it, a narcissist can never receive any form of correction in any capacity without taking revenge.

3. Offer Peace When There is Conflict

Proverbs 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Notice that phrase “If possible.” Sometimes, no matter how badly you want to make peace with someone, it’s literally not possible.

It always takes two to create peace. If you are having conflict with someone that you suspect to be a narcissist, but they are genuinely trying to make peace with you too even though it’s hard and you both keep struggling, it is highly unlikely that this person is a real narcissist.

A true narcissist will never be able to make peace with people other than if the other person involved takes all the blame every time. A narcissist will do the opposite of Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

4. Ask This Person to Serve Others Without Receiving Public Recognition

Is there a need that this person could fulfill in the community you both live in? Of course we can’t always say yes to every request for help. But a narcissist will never say yes when someone else needs help.

Additionally, the only time a narcissist will be able to offer assistance to others is if he makes it very public so everyone knows about the good he did. As Jesus said in Matthew 6:2-4, which states:

Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

5. Say No to Something They Ask for

Perhaps the simplest and most effective test to expose a narcissist is simply to say “No” to them. When you say no to a true narcissist, it makes their head spin. Their insides explode in rage and their true colors will come out.

Sure, say yes when you want to say yes to someone (2 Corinthians 9:7). But if you are afraid to say no to someone because you know they will freak out or take revenge on you, this is a strong sign you are dealing with a genuine narcissist.

Playlist of Past Videos: What Does the Bible Say About a Narcissist?