5 Lies Satan Is Using to Keep Men Single

From the very beginning of our human story, Satan has been attacking the male and female relationship as a way of rebelling against God (Genesis 3:1-6).

Likewise, in your life, Satan will try to attack your ability to get married because marriage glorifies the Lord (Ephesians 5:31-32). While some men will be called to glorify the Lord in singleness (1 Corinthians 7:7), I truly believe countless men these days are designed to thrive in marriage but they are remaining in singleness because they have given in to spiritual warfare.

Satan attacks through lies (John 8:44). He can’t make us do anything. We have to be deceived into choosing to the wrong things (James 1:14-15).

Therefore, here are 5 lies from Satan that are keeping many Christian men single who are actually designed to be married.

Lie #1: What You See Online Is the True Majority of Women, Not Sensational Content Meant to Keep You Watching

Here are just a few of the reasons men these days say that it is better to be single rather than married:

• Women just want your money.
• Women will marry you, divorce you, and take your children away.
• Women only want men who are over six feet tall, who have six-pack abs, and make over a six-figure income.
• Feminism has ruined women.
• There are no traditional women left.

On and on, there are countless other reasons men have for thinking there is no hope of them meeting a godly woman. Where are men getting these ideas? Mostly from online. They may have a few experiences with some bad women, but those real-life experiences only heighten their susceptibility to the algorithms strategy to keep them watching.

Algorithms are designed to reinforce what we already believe. Social media platforms want to keep you scrolling, so they figure out what you like to see and keep sending you more and more content like that. Don’t believe me? Why are both extreme liberals and extreme conservatives both addicted to their phones? Because social media platforms send them both different content. If you’re a liberal, you get sent commentators highlighting crazy conversative and roasting them. If you’re a conservative, you’ll get sent commentators highlighting crazy liberals and roasting them.

The social media platforms don’t care what you watch. They just care that you keep watching. And Satan doesn’t care what you watch either, so long as it is not the truth. He loves to see men get caught in their echo chambers online, which allows them to think this one view is the main view.

If you’re a man who’s gotten trapped in the Red-Pill/MGTOW content cycle, I encourage you to take a social media fast and start talking to real people again. The idea that all women are crazy and toxic is just a satanic lie meant to keep you bitter and alone.

2 Timothy 4:3-5, “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”

Lie #2: All Women Are Crazy, They All Have Unrealistic Expectations, and None of Them Are Worth the Effort

The previous point explained the process of how Satan is deceiving many men these days. Now let’s talk about why generalizing is a great way to stay single.

When it comes to a single Christian man looking for a godly wife, the phrase “women these days” is a complete waste of time. Who cares what “women these days” are like. You’re not going to marry “women these days.” You’re going to marry one individual woman who has a real name, a real personality, a real family she grew up in, and real character traits that separate her from the caricatures Satan is trying to get you to see all women as.

Galatians 6:4, “But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.” Don’t be like all the worldly complainers out there living in sin themselves but blaming their unwanted singleness on everyone but themselves.

The fact is, yes, the majority of people are living sinful lives. But guess what? That’s always been the case. This is not the first time in history Christian are living in a sinful culture. You don’t need millions of women following Jesus. You just need to find one. If you’re actually a godly man, then you can actually find one godly woman. Trust me, the real godly women are looking for real godly men too.

Lie #3: If She’s Not Super-Hot, Like the Porn Stars I Idolize, She’s Not My Future Wife

I think one reason so many men have such a negative view of women is because so many men have had their hearts and minds completely warped by pornography.

Not only does pornography cause a man to objectify women, but it also causes men to spend their virtual time with extremely immoral women. Watching an attractive woman sell her body to millions online will obviously taint your views of attractive women (1 Corinthians 15:33).

So not only will you get addicted to the idea of only marrying a woman who looks like a porn star because you are training yourself to only be visually drawn to women like this, but you will also believe every attractive woman will have terrible character like a porn star because those are the only women you watch. For these reasons and many more, porn will keep you single, which is one reason Satan loves it so much (1 John 2:16-17).

Lie #4: I Don’t Make Enough Money to Get Married

A lot of guys believe they don’t make enough money to get married because they have fallen into one of two extremes.

First, some men have fallen for the online complaints of whiney men who claim all modern women are just gold-diggers. If you find yourself on some random Reddit thread with a bunch grown men whose lives are mess but they just want to blame their ex-wife for all their troubles, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Spend time with men who have what you want, not with the guys who have the exact lives you don’t want.

Second, some men are not demonizing women, but they are idolizing them so much they feel like they can never achieve what they think a godly woman deserves. You may think it’s the ultimate mark of a man to be able to provide your future wife and kids with a big house and a lavish lifestyle. It’s not (1 Timothy 6:6-10)!

You don’t need to make millions to be a great man to a woman. You just need to have a great work ethic. If you have a job and can pay your own bills, there’s no reason you and a woman can’t get married, combine your finances, and make ends meet together.

Lie #5: It’s Better for All Men to Be Single

I know what many of you are thinking, “But Mark, doesn’t Paul say in 1 Corinthians 7 that’s it better to be single than married?” Yes, Paul does say that; but in context, that does not mean God wants most men to be single. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul makes the case for why most men should actually get married (1 Corinthians 7:2). God only calls a select few to actually pursue a life of singleness (Matthew 19:10-11).

For more on this point, here’s a related article where I unpack this idea in much greater detail: 7 Reasons Most Men Should Not Pursue Singleness